So Far, So Good...Goodbye April...

This seems to be a pretty good morning.  The sun is shining & it's warmer out.  Yesterday was a little rough.  Everybody in the neighborhood wanted to mow, cut, or burn something.   Thanks to the light, I woke up fairly easily this morning.

We have to go shopping & pay bills early.  The due date on our gas bill keeps creeping forward.   Then we have an outing to handle.   Hopefully, the rest of the day will go smoothly.

This is the last day of April.  The month flew by.  It wasn't a bad month, not good either.   I suppose that's better than being awful.  Goodbye April, until next year.

Cya...

Rough Mornings...

The last several mornings have been rough.  Not awful, but not pleasant.  It's been hard adjusting to the new season.  That's nothing new.  It's harder when the new season won't adjust to itself.  We're 6 weeks into Spring & it feels more like late Winter & early Spring.  My roomie told me it felt like early Fall to her yesterday.  This weird weather is making it hard to shift seasonal sleep patterns & the like.

More tomorrow.

Cya...

Hopefully Less...

I got through yesterday & I hope today has far less agita & irritants.   The day wasn't horrible & nothing huge went sideways.   Still, it was a laundry list of tiny annoyances parading through the day.   It was a tiring & obnoxious day that ended with our yard getting mowed & setting off my allergies for the night.  

OK, last Friday of April, you weren't the greatest.  I hope this last Saturday can just be sort of blah & non-eventful.    Unless, it's really fun, I don't need anything much to happen today.  

Cya...

Pharmacy Foul...

My day got rescheduled at almost 11 last night.   I get an email somewhere about then notifying my meds were going to show up today instead of on Monday like I'd scheduled.  I have to sign for them, so someone has to be home.   CVS can screw up anything.  I specifically asked for a "delivery on" date & not a "delivery by" date.  

To make matters worse they use UPS.  I hate UPS.  Life was a lot easier when they used FedEx.  FedEx always got to me before noon.  Asshat UPS can be here anytime from 8 AM to whenever.  I've seen them deliver in my neighborhood past 7 PM.  You can't schedule around that crap.   FedEx has always been the better option for me.  

So, I'm stuck at home all day.  I can't do anything.  My roomie has to get a ride from someone else.  All because CVS & UPS suck ass.

Cya...

Waking Up In April...

By this time of the year, it's normally easier for me to get myself around in the morning.   Sunlight is normally coming through the windows & I wake up.  Not this April.  This month has been dreary, damp & chilly.  Every reason a person should stay in bed.  I don't want to gripe too much, soon it'll be hot. Still, without the morning light, I find it really difficult to get myself around.  

We have shopping to do this morning, so this will be it for today.  More tomorrow.

Cya..

OK, Back To Yuck...

For years some in the fight against HIV had, what I considered, unrealistic dreams.   They thought they could stop transmissions by 2020.   They thought they could get medications & medical services to everyone.   They really had their pie in the sky.    

They had a plan, it was bold.  What they didn't have was capital.  They thought people like USA would fork it over.   The US did quite a bit for a while, so did a host of other countries.   But that was all dependant on politics.  As those shifted to a more radically, conservative nature, those funds began to dry up.   Now, the US is cutting nearly everything it can concerning the fight against  HIV.

We could be at the beginning of a resurgence of HIV.   All due to bad economic choices, hateful conservatism, blame & bias.   The fight against HIV is returning to it's classist, stigmatized roots.  So much for those plans for 2020.  We'll  be lucky not to see numbers soar as the funds dwindle.

Cya..

PS - Whatever good sleep weather we had went back to whence it came last night.  Last night was rough & this morning is gloomy.  Yuck.

Last Tuesday of April...

I don't know what happened, but this month has slipped by so quick.   It's still a little chilly, but not cold.  That looks to the way of things for the rest of the month.   Not much is happening today.  Weirdly, I slept really well last night.  I don't remember the last time I slept that deep.    Allergies are still high, but I woke up in a much better state than I have in a while.  It's the little things.

I think that's about it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Limits On Info...

I have a research based doctorate.  I understand people want to be compensated for their effort.  Still, a notable part of all research is little more than literature review & content analysis.  In other words, you're streamlining the bulk of the info into a more manageable piece, possibly exploring it from a specific perspective or theory.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It's a stage in all research.  So is giving your findings with support from your endeavors.

These researchers want praise, recognition, promotion, acknowledgment & of course compensation.

I get that, they've earned it.   But not just for stating the most innocuous, vague parts of their study in a 1,000 word abstract.   Often I come across potentially  interesting articles only to find out they're on pay sites like a professional journal.  These articles usually run from $1 - 10.   Occasionally, I manage to find a promotion allowing me to read an article. Or I find it somewhere else.  It's be so infrequent, that it might as well be never, that I have found such an article to be worth payment.

These articles that should be open to promote the fight against HIV most often come in 2 categories.  Costly, excessively brief  abstracts, requiring the purchase of an entire journal issue to see the complete piece.   Or a decent article with sound info.  Information that could benefit people living with & trying to combat HIV.   

I could understand limiting access to these pieces if they detailed proprietary research, methods or products, but they don't.  You can usually find more pertinent data on the matter in a Wikipedia article. There would be no loss of revenue or credit for the researcher.  Only a small loss of revenue,  for the journal.

Nice to see profits still taking precedence in the fight against HIV.

Cya...

Rain...

Not much going on this morning.  It rained yesterday & last night.  We got about an inch.  We needed it.  Maybe it'll cut down on the fire risks for a bit.  

Due to some stupid changes in how our state handles some things, my roomie is experiencing some unwanted changes in her life.    I won't go into detail, its not my tale to tell.   I will say, change can be hard even when you know it's coming & you want it.  Having it forced on you, especially out of the blue, can be very disorienting & challenging.  Even on small things.   

I used to enjoy going to my mail box center.  I knew the people & had a long relationship with them.   The place changed owners & gradually they all found other jobs.  The place still offers the same services & does them well, but it's not the same.  I'm still not happy about my dentist being changed or them altering who I see with my HIV specialist.   I'm getting through it, but I'm not happy or comfortable.  I'm not sure I'll ever be that with the new versions.

The change my roomie faced was more personal & involved.  It was unexpected & unnecessary.  She's facing choices she didn't opt in for.   It's stressful.  Sometimes, some of us will stay in bad situations just to avoid change.   The hell you know adage is quite powerful.  

Nothing stays the same.  Things march on with or without you.  Sometimes that really just sucks.

Cya...

Asked My Opinion...

I was chatting online with some young parents.  I'm not sure if that means they're younger, they had young children or both.  But they had questions for the group.   They wanted to know from the 40+ people what they wish their parents had taught them that they hadn't.  

There were a myriad of answers covering the gamut.  They finally asked me as a person my age living with HIV.  I thought about it & came up with my answer.

I wish someone would've taught me to better handle the +/-'s of life.  The highs & lows of life both throw me.  Admittedly, the negatives are usually harder to handle.  My parents didn't teach me to handle all the crap that would come into  my life.  They didn't give the means of handling stress, failure, rejection, etc... I panic, I freeze, I get angry,  None of which helps.   But, I was so unprepared for life, that I am utterly suspicious of the good in life.  I'm always waiting for the bad to come back like a tidal wave crashing down.  I fully well believe the universe has a sick sense of humor & my life gets the brunt of it a lot.  I have very few skills to cope with extremes.   I eventually do, but in the moment, I'm fairly useless.   

I told them to teach their children about all of the goods & bads they'll encounter.  Teach them skills to deal with the bad as well as possible.  Teach them to appreciate the good moments while they're there. Teach them that there's good & bad in every thing & every action.  You can learn from bad things.  You can be fooled by the good.    You may end up getting a lesser bad & learning to avoid a worse possibility.    You may be offered options so good you learn to look for the hooks in them.

Teach them good & bad come hand in hand.   Learning moments are near endless, but calming  times are rare.    Every dark cloud  may have a silver lining & I tend to believe that eventually.   But  it's also true that rainbows often follow terrible storms.  So do your best to teach your kid how to cope, how to be patient, how to see past the now.  Teach them about waiting for something, working for it & failure.   

Teach them how to fight, because life isn't a battle, it's a war.  It won't be won in a single conflict. You will get hurt, you will lose, you feel every negative emotion.  I hope your parents taught you better to handle those things than mine did me.  

Cya...

Routine Failure...

Many won't like this, but positive routines, healthy diets & HIV prevention have all failed at some point due to the same thing.  No matter how badly we might've wanted any of these things to succeed, we never shifted them from being a conscious action to a habitual or even automatic way of life.  When people are trying to lose weight, they actively think about their diet, food choices & exercise.  It's a lot of focus for most people.  More focus than they can maintain with the mindset of it being a temporary things with an end goal. 

For a diet to succeed, for a behavior to be modified, for HIV prevention to succeed, these actions need to be intuitive & unconscious.  These things have to become ingratiated in our lives.  They become something that just "is".  

This is hard to do as an individual, a group or society.  We've been trying to improve our country's treatment of minorities for decades & not enough has taken root.   Women have fought for centuries just to be treated as equals & we're still not there.   For every action or change pushed forward, there will always some things passively holding things back.  Some actively combatting any progress at all.

For every positive change a person attempts, they will face resistance.  Some will come from within.  We are mostly creatures of habit.  Behavior is amazingly difficult to alter.  Then you have all the external factors like social norms & peer pressure.  A dieter faces self-doubt, possibly self loathing.  He also faces the attitudes of those around him.  The world doesn't go on a diet with you.  You're still confronted with all the things that made you overweight.  TV & corporations make $ on you dieting & most especially you failing.  Entities profit on your bad poor habits, failures & striving to be socially normal.  It's insidious.

Your diet, your attempt to better your situation & the attempts at HIV prevention have all faced the same hardships.  They have faced our inability to let these actions become part of us & not merely something we do.   Too many others profit off of our trying & our eventual failure.  You have to be aware of that, before going into something like this.  It can be done.  You can lose weight, you can stop smoking, you can limit your prejudices, you can fight against HIV, it just won't be easy.

Look at it this way.  Diets & immediate behavior modifications are sprints.  Long term healthy lifestyles are lifelong marathons.   This won't be a fast dash.  It'll be a slow, meandering, tiresome journey.  Like so many things say, it all starts with the 1st step.

Cya...

Hopefully Goodbye...

After tonight, the weather is supposed to warm up to seasonal norms.  Good, I'm tired of this seasonal cusp.  I'm over dealing simultaneously with Spring & Winter.  Pick 1 & be done.   Allergens are still high, but might lower a bit over the next few days.  Maybe my eye can fully recover.  Maybe I can finally finish dealing with Winter blankets & the like.  I want to pack Winter up for the year.  

That's all for now.  My roomie & I are both trying to adapt to this pseudo season. We aren't necessarily doing all that well at it.

Cya...

Another Allergy Round...

Allergies overwhelmed me yesterday.  It was into the low 80's with a lot of wind.  My right eye was messed up all day, watery & puffy.   It's still somewhat bothersome this morning.  I hope it's clearing up.  If not, it's another trip to the doctor's.  I can barely see what I'm typing.  This is it for now.

Cya...

Another Comorbid Article...

This article is about the issues found when dealing with the comorbidity of  both malaria & HIV.  Both can be lethal.  Together they're much worse for the patient & the treatment needed.  There are many illnesses that can contribute to these issues, such as salmonella. I'm not going into more on this, the article is straight forward & brief.  Give it a read.

We got our errands ran yesterday.  It was a pleasant enough trip, even if tiring.   I wound up stupidly parking next to probably the most expensive car in Fort Smith, AR.   I got out of the car & noticed the car next to me was a 2019 Bentley Continental GT.  It's only worth north of a quarter million.   We stayed put until that car left the parking lot.   Still, we were nearer to it than I was comfortable with for quite a ways.  

We woke to nice skies,  By this weekend, even the low 40's should be gone.  Then I can finish off the Winter blanket washing/stowing.   Go by Winter, I need some sunlight & warmth.

Cya...

Talk, Talk...

A few things this morning.  I hope this is the last morning of the Spring I wake up in the lower 30s F.  I'm tired of the cold.   On to non-weather related matters.   (I'm also already over the allergies, grass & yard bugs.)

I've seen several articles dealing with pharma companies making too much profit off of HIV drugs.  Of course they do.   There's no doubt they've punched the cost of those meds as high as they could get away with in the US & other developed countries.  But every time a researcher puts out a statement, big pharma comes crying how we just understand how hard it is to be them.   Yes, it's so hard to understand your utter greed.  No, really it's not.

Conchita Wurst, the winner of Eurovision as come out as HIV+.   The singer didn't do this completely voluntarily.  Her privacy was threatened by an angry ex.   Over the course of several articles, I'm still  not sure if the ex just threatened to out her or was trying to actually blackmail the performer.  Either way a person felt forced to take control of her situation & reveal private information.  Now, no one can ever do this to the singer again.  That's great, but she should've never have been forced to make that choice.  I hope they prosecute her ex.  Just remember, once you let people know your secrets, it's only a matter of time, before others do as well.

We have errands today.  I need to go pay my dentist bill.  I'd do it online, but their site is sort of hinky feeling.  I've had to get enough replacement credit cards already.  I think I'll handle this in person.  Maybe we'll get something nice to eat while we're out.

Cya...

Frigid Morning...

Traditional tax day is here in the US & we're waking up to freezing temps in Oklahoma.   Tomorrow is supposed to be about the same.  I hope this is our last round of cold weather for a while.  I need to be warmer.  I hate waking to cold, dreary mornings.  Even with every light on in my room, it's  like part of me doesn't wake up.  I just stay in this agitated, not quite awake state.  

We don't have anything planned for today.  I'm glad.  I don't want to go out in the cold if I can help it.   Maybe the cold snap will drive back some bugs for a bit more.  Wishful thinking.

Cya...

Stressful Hours...

For the last several Fridays, our routine has been upended.  It's usually Suddenlink screwing everything up.   Last night it was the weather.  A storm blew out our power for a while.  Not long, but enough to stress me out again.  I'm to the point where I just can't handle it.

I don't have much in this world.  If the power & the net is working, I can distract myself.   I don't focus on it.  I can go about my life, such as it is.   Without them, I realize, they're about all I have.  

I know some people in the world, don't even have that much.  It may sound callous, but I don't care.  I can't do anything about their situation.  I can barely do anything about my own.   I won't be apologetic for wanting what I can get.   I can be sympathetic for others, but I won't sacrifice myself for people I don't even know.   That statement isn't at all PC, but it is true.  In this life I have my roomie,  my cats & myself.  That's it.  Those are the things I care about.  

My body is still reacting to last night's stress out.  I'm tired & worn out.  I don't need much,  but it would very nice if everything would stop pecking at me for a while.  I need to recuperate & recharge.  I can't do that if I'm constantly stressing.

I hope your day goes well.  On the bright side, we got a lot of rain, about an inch.   Take care.

Cya...

Grey Skies...

I woke to grey skies this morning.  Unfortunately, they have a lot of yellow to them.   Around here, that's generally a good sign of bad weather.   We have to be out today.  That should be fun.  They're forecasting strong storms.

My computer started alright this morning.  I hope it was just a glitch & not some unwanted portent of of things to come.  The kitten is doing better.  Getting back to her normal, obnoxious level of energy.   She's recently 2, so this kitteness should be fading.

The allergens are horrid.  It was really warm last night, but the weekend is supposed to have overnights just above freezing.   Oh Yippie!

That's about all.  I have to be out of here soon & I have things to do before I go.

Cya...

Scare...

OK, my computer gave me a scare this morning.   It didn't go through it's normal boot cycle.  It stopped at the log in & told me my password was incorrect.  I restarted & it went through.  I hope this isn't the end of the system.  I really don't want to deal with that right now.  

Rattled, more tomorrow.

Cya....

Net & Update Issues...

Due to Suddenlink having a total service interruption last night, I had to handle some things this morning.  Thanks for being awful Suddenlink.   Windows updated this morning & it took forever.  that ate a lot of time.  So, this is it for today.

I didn't see any notable articles.  Millie the cat seems to be on the mend.  Allergies are still hell & I need to get around.

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Post Mow...

Yesterday was the 1st mowing of the year.  It was need, but it was pretty awful as well.  With the weird weather & never-ending allergies, the added lawn yuck killed us.   I was already feeling off & that did me in for most the day.  The little cat, Millie, AKA  Camilla, was out of it for the day.  She laid on the floor looking near dead.    She slept with me all night & is still on my bed.  She seems to be a little more with it, but not her normal over-amped self yet.  

With the mowing, comes the need for edging.  I hope he comes back soon to handle that or I'll have to.  Yard work is pretty much beyond me now.  I've had to accept that idea.  I went out to clear some grass from around a small rose & it nearly did me in just handling that small bit.  Our enemies, the fire ants, are back.  I've found  almost a dozen small hills so far.  That might be more than I found all Summer last year.   I hope that's not a sign.  We've also got a few fleas off the cats.  I hate fleas.

The yard is mowed & the birds are taking advantage of the short grass.  Bugs are back on the menu.   The pole dancing squirrel was back this morning.  There'll probably be squirrelettes soon.

That's all for now.  Me & the kitten need to recuperate a bit.

Cya..

Blame...

If you know anything about the history of HIV, especially in the west, you know it's been a hard fight.  A battle waged largely for, by & on behalf of gay men.  During the 80s & 90s, most people wouldn't go near the HIV fight unless they had a vested interest, being +, being gay or being close to someone who was either of those.  With ACT UP & similar groups, HIV was brought to the forefront & advances were made.

Lately, I've read several articles about how some women feel there's been too much focus on gay males in regards to HIV.   It's a growing sentiment.   What do I have to say to that?  Boo Hoo!   If you want something like this, you have to stand up.  Too long others have let those involved with the gay community or affected by  HIV do the heavy lifting when it comes to the virus.  If you want to better represented, stand up.  Don't get pissed at gay men & their kin for their part in this fight.

Women fought for their rights.  They fought for laws to protect them against a litany of crimes.  They built communities & shelters.  They strategized & warred.    Now, they can do the same.    There are a host of places where advances have been made by women, for women, that men could benefit from but haven't claimed.  Women were the pioneers in those areas & most men won't even admit their own needs. That's not on the women to carry the men forward, that's on the men.

But stop accusing those who fought HIV before you ever wanted open your mouths.  Don't blame the gay community for your lack of involvement, desire to stay anonymous, your need to be unseen. Don't yell at us for being the squeaky wheel.  Act the hell up or shut up.  But don't come for us ladies.  You won't like the fight.

Cya...

Apparently The Spring Has Broken...

Spring has retreated a bit.   In the last week, we've had several nights in the 30's.  The last 2 dipped under freezing.  We have a possibility of several more nights of this in the 10-day forecast,   My body had grown accustomed to warmer temps.  It doesn't like quick changes.  This cold snap sucks & has left me coughing. After drinking my tea, I see my breath for a few minutes & that's inside.  

Maybe the bugs are suffering as well.  Freeze the fleas & their ilk.

Cya...

Yesterday Was Not Good...

It rained all day yesterday.  Last I checked it was up to 1.75" of rain.  Of course Weather.com says we only got .5".  The weather forecast last night said we might actually wake up to snow.  Now, we're just looking for freezing rain.  3 weeks into Spring & they call for snow.  I'm over the cold weather.

Suddenlink crapped out on us again yesterday.  It was out for over 6 hours.  I'm writing earlier in case this happens again today.  I hate this company.

Good things do come to an end.  The tulips I've enjoyed are losing their petals & fading.   Soon there  will just be some foliage.  I'll miss them.  This may be their last year ever.  They hadn't bloomed in years before this season.  I appreciate their appearance this year.  

My roomy got some unwanted news yesterday.  I won't go into detail, it's her story.  But, I will say no one likes change forced onto them.  

Yesterday, just wasn't a great day.

Cya...

Same Story Different Place...

That could've been the title of yesterday's post.  It's a common theme with HIV.  These incidents with HIV experiences are like shampoo instructions; go through whatever, possibly survive it, don't learn from it, repeat the ordeal.   This time it wasn't with another failed sterilization procedure.  

This article discusses 2 decent sized cities in Massachusetts.  Both have seem an uptick in HIV rates due to IV drug use.  This isn't about sexuality.  This isn't a gay thing. It's about young people reusing needles & contracting illnesses.  

But hey, we have to make it a moral judgement thing, don't we?  Maybe, if people had kept their morals to themselves, we could've been a lot further along in the fight against HIV.  People do love their spectacles & outrage.  The way things are going, if something doesn't change, HIV could actually make a full blown comeback.  Everybody loved the 80s.

Cya...

Yet Again..

This article discusses another possible mass exposure to HIV & hepatitis.   This was another hospital in Colorado.  It was due to inadequate sterilization processes for equipment used during orthopedic or spinal surgeries. This took place from July 2016 until February 20.  That's 20 months.  For over 600 days people faced possible exposure.  How many surgeries were done per day?  

But don't worry:

"We want to assure patients that our team immediately acted to remedy the situation. Recent survey results released by The Joint Commission, which accredits hospitals in the United States, revealed no errors in our process or protocols," the hospital said.

How comforting.  Some arbitrary commission has decided the hospital had done nothing wrong.   Which is their attempt to deny culpability.  To make it harder on those people whose lives this hospital may have just altered forever.   This hospital's main concern is taking care of it's own.

My best goes out to those impacted by this "accident".  I hope your results come back clear.  Then maybe you can get back to living your lives. 

Cya...

Revolving Door...

For some, sleeping & dreams are a refuge from their lives.  That's rarely been the case for me.  My dreams are often more stressful than my real world.   I don't usually do traditional nightmares.  I do stress dreams full of frustration, anxiety & isolation.   Most kids prayed they'd wake from their slumber safe & sound.  I never did.  I just wanted slip off into some nice place & not come back.

My dreams have been like my life, a revolving door in a building's foyer.  It was never the nicest or most popular building, but it was interesting & unique.  A lot of people came through those doors.    Nearly all spun back out immediately.  Some stayed a while, but most still left. Unfortunately as always, time marched on.  The place my life & dreams resided in became derelict & abandoned.  Few come through those doors & most only with a purpose they need to fulfill before taking their leave.  

My dreams are pretty empty these days, except for stress & agita.  I never found that place they talk about where you're safe & happy.  Where life is amazing.  Even if I have a good dream, somewhere in it, things always start to darken & go wrong.  Friends get angry & leave.  I suddenly see no one was ever there.   I've played a lot of tricks on myself to get through life.  They've left me hollow.

My advice.  Screw hopes & dreams.  They're empty promises that will only hurt you.  Be selfish, it's your life.  Get yours.  Nobody will ever do it for you.  I'm not saying don't have friends.  But realize, real friends are rare.  I have 1.  I've had lots of people in my life who called me a friend, but in the end that meant party pal, bar buddy, acquaintance...  A "simple prop" to occupy their time.

I wish I had pretty words & glimmering wisdom for you.  All I have is cold reality.  I hate it more than you could possibly know.

Cya...

Really & Busy...

OK, a couple of givens.  If you say or reveal something about yourself, you can never unsay it or take it back.  Whatever it was, is now known.  2nd, businesses of all types, especially those online, gather & sale the information of those people who traffic their sites.  Both are givens.  Anyone should understand this.

So, why is it people get so surprised & outraged when something they reveled about themselves online turns up somewhere else?    They should've known this would happen.  I post about my illness. People who read this blog close enough can figure a lot about my life.  I knew that going in.  I accepted that.  If I couldn't have, I shouldn't have started the blog in the 1st place. 

To all you people out there that told Grindr, or whatever other site, your HIV status, what did you expect?    Of course they used that data.  Of course they sold it.   Information is ore, data mining is nothing new.   HIV status is a rarer tidbit, so it was probably worth quite a bit.  You might be upset  Grindr sold personal info, but it was in their user's agreement.  That bunch fine print you were supposed to read before using the site.  This isn't on Grindr, it's on you.  That's why you're so pissed off.  Own it & move on with your life.

Have to get going.  I need a shower & we have bills to pay.  I need to get back soon, my meds are on their way.  I don't want to have to reschedule the delivery.

Cya...

No Cares Given...

It's another Cheap Chocolate Day After Holiday.  I have to go shopping this morning, I might get lucky.  Tomorrow will be bill day & the week is looking a little busy.  I hoped the rain we've had would have knocked down the allergies.  That didn't happen,  I think the rain actually made it worse.  Read yesterday that there is a 2nd wave of flu going on in the US & of course Oklahoma is seeing some of the worst of it.  Just great.

Articles concerning HIV rates & the needs of people living with HIV are a constant online.   The problem, most people don't read them, unless the title is click-bait & then the reader is usually just irritated.  The issue here is simple, people fighting HIV & providing aid for those with the virus need other people to be concerned about their cause.  But, most aren't & they aren't going to until they are directly affected.

When it comes to HIV, civil rights, climate change & the like, most people like to talk a good game, but honestly have very few cares to give on the matter.   For some, it's just these people are tapped out & have little give anything.  Other people are asshats & have no F's to give about anything other than themselves & their pet causes.  

As hard as it is, when dealing with HIV or the like, on a personal or global level, the tactics have to change.  We have to acknowledge most people just do not care.  Some can't, some are just vile egos bobbing around in meatsuits.  We have to learn to & adjust to doing as much solo as we can.  Beating our head against the walls these people create is exhausting & exasperating.   Most people will never help anything other than themselves, some won't even do that. 

It's awful.   If we accept they won't help, then maybe we can move on to develop strategies that don't require them.   It may not always be possible.   But where it is, we have to accept these people will likely never come through for anything.  Whether it's apathy, burnout, hate, ideology or whatever the reason, we have to accept this is the reality of these people & we aren't changing it with information or spin tactics. 

All we can do is move on & do the best we can.

Cya...

PS.  Good luck to all the teachers & staff walking out of schools today for better treatment.

Happy Easter....

It's Easter.  Another marker of Spring's presence.  You wouldn't really know it by our dismal weather.  It rained this weekend & chilled us down.   Tuesday & Wednesday are forecast to have overnight lows in the lower 30's.   

So far, the beginning of this April is going better than last year.  I'm not recovering from pneumonia after my hospital stay.  I'm not hoping a temporary crown stays on my tooth while I'm waiting for the permanent 1 to arrive.  I'm not dealing with Rhiannon's passing.  

Yes, so far April  2018 is going better than 2017, I hope it holds.

Happy Easter & Good Hunting...

Cya...