Dismal Day...

It's been grey for days & I seriously hate it.  I don't do well with drear.  It's more than just an emotional thing.  I feel different when it's bright outside.  I feel more alive & aware.  Given, too much of a good thing can be just as bad.   Still, I'd take a bright Summer day over this dismal crap.

It leaves me distracted & not as alert as I'd like.  Hopefully, this rain has passed & the skies will clear up some.  I'm not sure how people who live in places with extended periods of this mess handle it.  I don't think I could.

Oh well, at least the rain stopped for now.

Cya...

Wet & Cold...

It's still raining & it's still cold.  Not unseasonably, but still unpleasant when combined with all this rain.   It looks like we'll close in on a foot of rain this month if it doesn't stop now.  As it is, we're at or just over 11".   

November is closing out & the new month is upon us.  The last of 2015 is hurdling towards us.  So far, so good.  We've had some upsets, usually with doctors, but nothing overly expensive or earth shattering. 

I keep watching squirrels & sparrows trying to avoid rain drops as they rummage among the fallen leaves.  It's not going well for them.  Not sure how there is to eat out there right now.  Hopefully enough.

As for me, I'm staying inside as much as I can.  I have no use for this weather.  I'm definitely not interested in getting a cold or worse from this wet stuff.  So, in I stay.

Stay dry & safe,

Cya...

Still Raining...

I'm not sure the exact amounts, but if  you count the rain from the last  3 days, we've had 5 - 6".  That's a  lot of rain in a short period.  The roads & waterways are flooding.   

The house isn't that cold, but the air is very wet.   It's making it hard to stay warm.  The only good thing is, we're too cold for this to turn into a steamy mess after the rain stops.  

Other than September, we've made our rain totals pretty well this year.  May should've only had like 6" for the month, but had nearly 2'.   We're doing good for precipitation this year. 

Wherever you are, stay safe & dry.  Beware, the holidays are upon us.

Cya...

Black Friday Shopping...

Actually, this is just my regular shopping day.  The big sales rush is long over by the time I get there.   I did manage to take advantage of some post Thanksgiving Day sales though.   

I found really cheap turkeys. Like .50¢ @ pound.  I got several breasts for under $3.00 each.  They'll be future holiday & special dinners.    There were a lot of other sales, but nothing we really needed.  A lot of people save themselves into spending way more than they should have.  

Today, I'm thankful for post holiday turkeys.

Cya...

Thanksgiving...

The holiday is here & the season is now in full swing.  There'll be no resting until January.  Enjoy...

Everyone is posting about things they're thankful for today.  I try to do that throughout the year.  That includes the red birds I see in the Winter & the 1st little blue flowers of Spring.  These things make me smile & get me through the moments.

Today I am grateful for all those people who are working today.   Those working jobs so everyone else can keep going as normal.  Those who have to work to make sure emergencies can be handled.  Those who work because they can't afford not to.

What I'm not grateful for are all those sanctimonious people & their commercials praising themselves for being so great because they aren't working the holiday & won't have their stores open on the day. This is just a cheap shot at false piousness.  It's an easy jab.  Funny how these people are usually only talking about retail.  

This is a very special thanks to: cashiers, stockers, emergency workers, waitstaff, utility workers, trash collectors, gas station attendants & everyone else working this holiday.  

Happy Thanksgiving...

Cya...

A Little Busy...

Short post today.  We're getting our holiday meal mostly cooked today.  That'll just leave the quick stuff for tomorrow; rolls & such.  I know this is a hard time of year for some people.  I wish you all the best.  May something come your way to make a good day for you.

Cya...

Ignorance Prevails...

This article is about schools in the UK, but I have no reason to believe those in the US would fare any better.  The level of ignorance regarding HIV among the teaching staff was ridiculous.  Their willingness to spread outdated, misinformation intolerable.    For most of these instructors, HIV, nor even health, was their field.  However, if a teacher is going to discuss a matter in class, they should be competent on the matter.  There's tons of widely, easily available & verifiable information concerning HIV on the net.  Their indulgent ignorance is damaging & embarrassing to their profession, not to mention the children who might be + in their classes.

For more evidence of the ignorance regarding HIV, read the whole article, especially the comments.

Cya...

Personal Responsibility & Charlie Sheen...

OK, I'll go back to the Charlie topic once more.  I've said all I have to about him.   Yes, he should've bee more open with his partners about his status.   That's his issue & he could face serious consequences for not being upfront on the matter.

BUT!!!!  This is Charlie Sheen people.  Did you really think he wasn't carrying some type of communicable disease?  Seriously, the man's life was a train wreck for years.  How could anyone possibly believe someone who lived that lifestyle could come out unscathed?  Everything about his life was a high risk behavior.

Anyone who had sex or shared fluids with Charlie Sheen is equally responsible for their own well being.   Unless they were forced or tricked, they have to own up to being responsible for their involvement with Sheen.  They endangered their own health.  They decided to do these things with Sheen.  It seems that a lot of the people going after Sheen have a lot of high risk behaviors of their own, like drug use or being in the porn industry.

This really feels like a desperate grab at 15 minutes of fame, publicity or $,

Cya...

1st Cold Night...

We had the new heater on for a while last night.  It dipped down to the mid 20's F overnight.  I'll never be a fan of cold weather.  It just isn't happening.  I have to close the windows, constantly cover my feet & lose my fans for the season.  I like fresh air & fans & I hate having shoes & socks on all the time.

But, Winter is here & those are the things we do during the season.  This morning was the 1st time I saw the yard lightly glazed with frost.  The windows were a little wet & foggy.  It's an old house.

The countdown is on.  There are just 4 days left until Thanksgiving.  30 until Winter Solstice & 33 until Christmas.  Add a week & we'll have New Year's.  2015 is winding up. Enjoy it while it's here.

Cya..

Skittering Leaves...

The sounds outside my window are changing.  I'm hearing less birds chirping & more house creaking as things chill down.  The nearby trains are much louder on cold tracks & with fewer leaves to buffer the noise.  It's just another sign of Winter approaching.

The sound I like most is the skittering.  The little sound leaves make as they race down the street.  I love watching them as the wind whips them along or how they sometimes dance up into the air in little dust devils.  

I always think it's a waste how some people rake up all the leaves & have them hauled away.  Burn & put the ash over your garden.  Rake them into rows & run them down with the lawn mower.  Decaying leaves are great food for your yard.   They make great compose & mulch.  I guess it's not pretty enough.

Tonight is supposed to be our 1st night under freezing.   We're supposed to be in the mid 20's F.  Glad we got the heater working.   Wherever you are stay comfortable, safe & have a good weekend.

Cya...

Worn Out...

We finally have the stove fixed.  That was costly.  But, at least we'll have heat this Winter.

The trip to Tulsa went OK.  The drive up was easy.  Navigating Tulsa to get out was not.  There was road work in every possible direction.  It took forever to get out of Tulsa.  The rest of the trip went fine.

We went shopping this morning & I think everyone in town was there.  The store was packed & it took way too long to get my shopping done.  I'm tired from all of this. I'll post more tomorrow.  Keep warm

Cya...

Continued Issues, Plumbers & Tulsa...

The issue with the heating stove continues.  The plumbers couldn't get it to work, so we had to make a trip to Home Depot over in  Fort Smith for a new heater.  I hope this thing works.  Because of this, I now have credit with Home Depot & owe them over $200.  That's doesn't count what I have to pay the plumbers for their time.  Only thing I have nice to say about the old, stupid heater; is that it had the decency to die before Winter got ramped up.

The plumbers should be here soon & I have to get around. Afterwards, we have to head to Tulsa for my appointment with my HIV specialist.  This was supposed to be a quiet week leading up to this.  It didn't work out that way.  I really needed to just to be zoned out before I psyched myself up for another appointment with them.  ` That didn't happen. 

I still have to get food & cleaned up a bit. So, I better get.  I hope things go smoothly today,

Cya...

More $ & Waiting For Plumbers...

It looks like we may get some freezing temps this weekend.  I covered the AC's & started cleaning the stoves.  The front room stove doesn't want to stay lit.  We called the plumbers to fix it.  I took that stove a part once & cleaned it.  I liked to never have gotten that thing back together.   So, the plumbers should be coming soon.

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Outed...

 Charlie Sheen announced he is HIV +.  I would like to send him best wishes regarding his health & decision to come forward.   But, I won't.   Mr. Sheen only came forward with this extremely personal announcement  under duress. 

I'm not going to debate any of his behaviors, real or alleged.  That is not the point.  This man was railroaded into revealing his HIV status.   That's just wrong.

He was being manipulated & blackmailed.  Anyone that pushed this forward in this manner had their own agendas.  If they were so concerned with the welfare of others, these people could have gone to the health department or other authorities.  But, what these people who caused all this fanfare concerning Mr. Sheen's health really wanted, was their 15 minutes in the spotlight.  These are not heroes or good citizens.  They were conniving, vain glorious leeches.  

What Charlie Sheen may have done, does not preclude his right to privacy concerning his health.  I wish him well.  As for those people who forced this to come out in this manner, I hope they choke on it.

Cya...

So Still Not Funny...

Occasionally, I hear people say or see posts about how the stigma against HIV isn't what it used to be.   No, in some ways it's way worse.  It's worse because we have information now.  There's no reason to be ignorant of HIV today.  There's no reason to use fear, anger & bitterness to stir the pot against those living with HIV & then say it was a joke.  

Still not funny.

HIV stigma is as real as ever & in some places absolutely deadly.   In places like I live, it might not be as extreme, but there's a definite possibly of your status being used against you.    Not, trying to be overly sensitive here, but HIV is real & these acts of discrimination only make fighting the disease harder,  Who wants to come forward knowing the virus could make them targets of ridicule, hate & malignant fear mongering?  

No one.

A former UK X-Factor winner posted a stupid Twitter comment about some one & HIV.   He tried to pass the jab off as a joke.  Funny, no one's buying it.  

I'm happy that people are putting this jerk in his place,  Still, he felt comfortable enough to use HIV as a barb.   When it comes to HIV/AIDS & stigma, not much has really changed.

Cya...

UGGHH, Windows Update Is Slow...

The big Win10 update is slowing down my computer & making everything sluggish.  I'll post more tomorrow.  Hopefully, this goes smoothly.

Cya...

Limit Med Access...

According to this article, Texas & over 30 other states restrict the HIV medications available via the insurance exchanges available to their residents.  They simply don't want HIV + people using their plans.   Texas only allows 10 of the currently available medications via their exchanges.  It doesn't matter what regimen your doctor has you on.

Amazingly, somehow, Oklahoma is 1 of 5 states that doesn't restrict HIV medications via their exchanges.  Oklahoma hasn't expanded it's medicaid, nor has it made any assistance or incentives available for it's insurance plans.  At least it doesn't limit the drug availability.  You just probably won't be able to afford them.

This is why I'm on disability.  If my medications & medical went through an insurance company, I couldn't afford any of it.  Then again, that's probably the idea.  Let the poor people die off, so we don't have to deal with them any more.

It would seem the Affordable Care Act is not all it was made out to be.

Cya...

Errands Again...

Nothing much happening here or in the articles. Seems like everybody's concerned with some popular actor  possibly having HIV.  Pseudo panic, shaming & stigmatizing are still popular with the news even those sources purporting to be concerned with HIV.    Still not funny.  Of course, they aren't naming the actor.  That'd get'em sued.  Instead they use old tabloid techniques to rattle some cages.

Had some errands to handle. They've been handled & nothing much left to do here today, except catch up some DVD's.   Nothing out out of the ordinary for us until Thursday.  Then it's off to Tulsa.  

Have a good weekend & happy Friday the 13th.

Cya...

More Errands & Shopping...

Not much going on this morning.  We went grocery shopping & did some errand running.  I mostly finished buying things for Thanksgiving dinner.   Now, I just have to cook it. That'll happen the day before. That way everything gets to rest, including us.

The weather is going up & down again.  It was almost 80 here yesterday & then it did a serious drop.  We won't be nearly as warm today, but the cold air seriously dried us out.  We'll have humidity levels down into the mid 20's today.  That's no fun.

I should have most the winterizing done this week or the next.  I need to get the AC's covered.  Most of the fans have been stowed away for the season.  Soon, the bigger blankets & afghans will come out for the Winter.  I need to clean out the stoves soon.   I hope we don't have to light them too early this year.   Last year we had them on pretty early into November.  I'd love to get into December without them.  That probably won't happen.

Winter is coming.  That bring a different set of health issues for me.  Chilblains, colds & dry skin are heading my way.   Oh yeah.  Hopefully,  I far better this year.

Stay warm.

Cya...

Dreary Trash Day...

We're supposed to be headed into thunderstorms.  So far, it's just dark & drizzly.  I need to get some stuff done outside, but it'll wait until tomorrow.  I don't want to deal with the wet.

Nothing much going on here today.  It's fairly quiet & cool enough all the cats are curled into little balls on the couch.   They've shown no sign of moving nay time soon.

The rain seems to be picking up & I need to get the trash out.  This is all for now.  Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Labs & Glasses...

I got my labs  & new glasses in today.  I had to run a few errands & I needed to get my lab results before I go to Tulsa on the 19th.  I stopped by the store as well.  This stop dealt with everything on my holiday gift list except for little candies I'll put in the packages like candy canes, coal & the like.

My glasses are here.  That's  a week faster than the last order.  They fit well.  The prescription changed very little, but I can tell it.  It'll take a bit for me get used to them.  Yeah Zenni Optical, 2 pairs with transitions for $60 counting shipping. 

My HIV tests are good.  I also had a thyroid test & a lipid panel.  Parts of the lipid panel were high, as were parts of the thyroid test.  I asked the receptionist if the doctor wanted to see me sooner.  She called me back & said the doctor felt that although my numbers were high, they weren't that off & I could wait to see him in January.  Hopefully, this won't mean any more meds, but it might. I guess I'll find out in January.

Overall, it's been a good, productive morning. 

Cya.

It's Chilly...

It's definitely chilly here.  It's supposed to get a little warmer tomorrow, not much.  The days of 80's are gone for the year.  But the 70's will linger on for a while longer.

I need to go pick up my lab results tomorrow.  I'll take them with me to Tulsa.  I have an appointment on the 19th.  Hopefully, after that I will be back with the doctor I saw via telemedicine.   I still miss that.  It sucks they killed it & no, I probably won't ever get passed it.

The next couple of weeks will be busy.  We have a lot going on & trips to make.   We'll have to try not to let it wear us out too much.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Cya...

Still Spreading...

Throughout the news online for the past few days, there's been discussion of how Ohio may soon be hit by a wave of HIV infections.   Like its neighbor, Indiana, Ohio has been the victim of the economic downturn.   It has been hit hard financially.  When this happens the emotional, social, psychological & spiritual soon begin to suffer as well.  As these wounds compound, people look for solace.

Too often people find comfort in drugs; pain killers, oxy, meth & heroin.  This has already left Ohio with a high number of Hepatitis C cases.  It's likely other communicable diseases such as HIV are soon to follow.

The scary thing, this pattern is almost identical to what happened in Indiana.  Almost every state in the Great Lake region is in a similar situation & could easily go down the same path.  The old industry states have fallen & may never recover.  Look at the Detroit area.    Too much of the US is looking worse off than those countries we title "third world."

These people have been cast aside by the industries they made great.  They aren't falling through the craps, they're being shoved down the drain. They've experienced a rapid shift into the marginal world of being  part of  the fringe population of society.   It's not a pretty place & it's not safe.

Cya...

I Hate Mornings...

I don't trust mornings.  They're usually when my world goes to hell.  I become far more aware of myself as the light starts to shine.  But, I have to ask, is this just anxiety & some level of depression?  Or is it that later in the day I can kid myself into believing all the crap I bought the day before?    I like waking up to the light, but I don't like my thoughts during these hours.   The options are limited; either I'm deluding myself, being anxious or both.  Mornings can be hell for me.

When I was feeling down a while back about what little I've done since my diagnosis my roommate told me I had done things.  Mostly it centered on helping the strays in our area.  I'm not doing that anymore.  Not since May.  I can't really afford it, financially or emotionally.   I'm back to basically doing nothing.

I look back at our blogs from time to time.  It's something my roomie does.  2 years ago, we were in a very different place.  Since then, there were some very serious health issues.  A new entry into the world.  The health issues have been mostly faced, but somehow we've never come back to where we were. I look at those posts & see a much different atmosphere in the house.  We weren't always happy, but it seemed better than now.

There doesn't seem to be much left.  A lot of the progress we made is just gone.  I'm not blaming anyone, maybe it's just me.  My roomie thinks everyone would be better off living by themselves.  I don't.  I have & I remember it.  I can only imagine the awful life it must be for the elderly living alone & uncared for by anyone.  If I have any luck left, I hope I pass before that or a nursing home. My life is depressing enough now.

I'm not seeing a way out of this.  I hear all the little barbs & see read all the shit on the net.  I try to let it pass.  Most of it probably has nothing to do with me. maybe none of it does.  I'm not sure which is worse.  To be the target or just utterly cast aside.  

I don't think I'll be doing any resolutions this new year.  I really don't see any reason in trying to make myself live longer. I'm really tired & spent lately.  Maybe it's the HIV.  Maybe it's anxiety.  I'm feel very isolated.  My roomie has her own issues to deal with in her life.  She'll see her family over the holidays.  I hope that goes well for her,

I need to get my day started.  I hope the cats haven't messed up anything.  I really hate mornings.

Cya...

Another Brief Post...

We have to go shopping & then we're going to see The Peanuts Movie.   So. this will be brief.  Yesterday was very annoying with no internet at all.  It took me quite a while to get caught up with my online stuff again. 

I've been reading a bit about Seasonal Disorders.  It seems they aren't limited to affecting our moods as the light levels change.  There are seasonal disorders concerning many aspects of a person's health.  I wasn't surprised when I read about Seasonal Digestive Disorder/Distress.  Many people have  a myriad of gastrointestinal issues during the big seasonal shifts between the light & dark or hot & cold parts of the year.  

This makes a lot of sense.  My entire body acts differently during these 2 times of the year.  I don't even really feel like the same person or that I'm living in the same skin.  My allergies, digestion, sinuses, blood pressure all act remarkably different throughout the year.   This is probably affecting everyone to some extent.  It definitely gets to me.

Cya...

Net Gone....

The net just got back on after being gone for almost a whole day.  I have no idea how long it will last.  So, this is just an update. More tomorrow,

Cya...

Trash Day...

Another Wednesday, another trip to the curb.  We've gotten most of our early bills dealt with, the other will be handled soon.  Then this part of the month will over again.

I got my flu shot yesterday while we out.  We've gotten a lot warmer today.  My head isn't happy about that.  I'm feeling a little out of it.  That could be the weather or the vaccination.  Hopefully, it'll pass soon, it's not playing well with my digestive system.

There are a lot of  articles out there right now talking about the return of chemsex & how it's  a threat to the fight against HIV.   The return?  Did chemsex ever really leave?   I'm not surprised.  Recent numbers are showing a higher death rate in middle-aged, white Americans.  The leading causes are drugs & suicide.   There's just too much crap out there to deal with & little hope of getting passed it.  So they partied hard or just ended it. With the way the economy has been for years, I'm surprised it took this long to happen.

Try to stay safe & if you can't, try not to take anyone else with you.

Cya...

Bi-Monthly Meds...

Johnson & Johnson has developed a new combo-drug, injectable medication for HIV.  According to the article, it can be given at 2 month intervals.   If this is brought to the public, it could have a huge impact.  Especially with adherence.

When I started my meds, I took over 2 dozen pills a day.   A few of those were supplements, but most were HIV meds.  I took 18 just counting the Fortovase & they were huge.  

These intervals, would also mean the person would see the doctor at least that often.  That may be a huge improvement for some people.  Much of treatment is observation & this would allow more opportunity.

Hopefully, this will be coming soon. If it does & I can tolerate it, that would mean no more fighting with a speciality pharmacy.  That'd be great.  We'll just have to wait & see,

Cya...

1st Monday Of November...

Bill week has begun.   We won't be paying anything until tomorrow.  Then it's underway to deal with all the monthly stuff.

Not much going on here right now.  I'm fine with that.  It's the 2nd day past the time change.  It's still nice to wake up to the extra light.  It won't last long, but while it's here, I'm going to enjoy it.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Cya...

November...

November is here.  This week will be filled with 1st of the month stuff.  It can be a bit hectic, but once it's done, we're in the clear for a month.  

I'm very thankful for the 1st day post Daylight Saving Time.  That extra hour really does have an impact on my sleep.  More light in the morning made it far easier to wake up & get around.  

My glasses are ordered.  I use Zenni Optical.  They're very affordable for us & I don't have to worry about breaking an expensive pair of glasses I couldn't afford to replace.   Only downside being their slow processing & delivery.   But, at these prices I can be patient.  My roomie will be up next.

I had a good experience with this optometrist.   I didn't with the last guy, he was beyond brusque.  I'm surprised at my age, I didn't need bifocals/progressives.  My prescription had only slightly changed & the doctor doesn't think I'll need bifocals any time soon.  Yeah for me.

So, hello November, let's try to have a good month.

Cya...