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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Preemptive Posting...

I'm doing a 2nd post today & it will be short.  Tomorrow will be different for us.  I'll have to be up by 4:30 AM.   I'm of the belief that a person should never see anything earlier than 7:00 AM unless they stayed up the previous night partying.   Still, I'll be getting up & around early.  

I have no idea I'll be gone.  My roomie has an appointment  & the info on time has been scarce other than when to show up.  So, I'll just do this post now & save myself having to come up with something tomorrow.  
There will probably be a few more days like this.  Hopefully, they won't be so early in the morning.   Neither of us do well that early.  

Until later.

Cya...

Yet Again...

At Derby University, in the UK, over 600 students are having to be tested for blood borne illnesses, due to some idiot's (possibly many) decision to reuse syringes.   Really, how many times does this has to be in the news?  This is Britain, not some poor place in the world that can't afford needles.

This article goes into more details on the matter.  Not that the details matter.  It seems the details are virtually the same in all these cases or needle reuse by medical establishments.  They're either cheap, careless or indifferent.

If a patient contracts something from this, whoever is responsible should be shot.  I guess we'll never stop having this conversation.  It's just someone's health after all, nothing important.

Cya...

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Brrr...

It's the next to last day of April.   So, why is the thermometer reading in the 40's F?   Worse than that, tomorrow morning may be in the 30's.  I'm really past it being cold for the season.  

Between the weather shifts, allergies & some household issues, I'm not feeling the best.  It's mainly stomach & allergy crap, but still it wears you out.   I've spent far too much time either in the bathroom or blowing my nose.

At lest the things going on with my roomie have an initial plan of action.  There will be more after that, but those can't be tackled at this time.  Just like walking, 1 foot in front of the other.   Try to do more & you'll fall on your backside.

I realize I'm not posting as well as I could be.  However, with what's going on right now, it's been a little hard to focus on things.  At least there's somewhat of a plan in place.

Cya...

Monday, April 28, 2014

Outage & Outings...

We had a power outage last night for about 3 hours.   I'd planned on writing today's post then, but that didn't happen.  The topic must not of been very important, I couldn't even remember what I wanted to post about.  If it was important, it'll come back to me, I think.

The reason I was going to post last night, instead of this morning, is that we're in a bit of a rush.  My roomie has some ongoing appointments that may keep me from regularly posting.   I'll do my best to work around this, I should be able to.  

We'll be out later & I'm not sure for how long.   I'm fairly sure this will be 1 of many such outings in near future.   This isn't a quick fix type of thing.  Oh well, it's needs to be done.  Luckily, things are moving at a pretty good clip.

So much for April being less dramatic than March.  How about you, May?   Can we tone it down a bit?   Probably not.

Cya...

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Storms...

I'm not sure how the weather is going to play out today.  We have serious storms in the forecast.  We're heading out to go do some shopping.   Normally, we'd do this tomorrow, but my roomie has a doctor's appointment.  So the schedule got shifted.

If the storms are as serious as they're forecasting, it's probable my power & internet will get knocked out.  I'll do this little post now just in case I can't later.  

This is the last Sunday of the April.  The month is closing out & we're well into Spring.  Funny, I still see 40's in the forecast for the beginning of May.  Weird weather.  Maybe these storms will blow away some of this pollen.

Cya.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Beans & Yogurt...

We've altered our diets a bit by reintroducing 2 things; beans & Greek yogurt.   It's sort of a switch-off here,.  My roomie usually likes beans more than me & the reverse is true for yogurt.  But, they're back in our diet on a fairly regular rotation.

We've been trying to cook up a pot of beans (various types) every weekend.  It's means less wondering what we're going to eat.  We've copycatted fruit on the bottom, Greek yogurt with generic Greek yogurt & sugar-free pie filling.   That puts the snack under 100 calories with a lot of protein.

I think these switches are starting to have an impact on our diet.  They're both filling & less processed than a lot of foods we were eating in their place.   The boost in protein & fiber is helping us to feel fuller.  

Hopefully, this is a habit we can keep.  The price point is fairly low & they're good for us.   It's hard to find something that fits both of those.  

Green Giant has a line of fresh vegetable & veg mixes in the produce section.  They're a little higher than frozen, but they taste great & only take 3 minutes in the microwave.  I could by the regular vegetable, but a lot of the bulk produce is sketchy at Walmart & too pricey at the other stores.

Little changes like this could help us to eating better.

Cya...

Friday, April 25, 2014

Spring Take 2...

We're having some rain & it's trying to warm up a bit.  The yard guy will be back soon.  Hopefully, we can keep up with all the weeds & bugs.  

We're probably going to be dealing with quite a few schedule changes soon.  We've had some things come up that will need attention from time to time.  We'll just have to see how they work out.  I'd say more, but the matters aren't mine, or at least not mine alone.

We're getting new neighbors.  The house to the north of us just resold for a ridiculous amount.  I think it's an older couple.  Maybe they'll be quiet.  

I'm rewashing some blankets that I'd meant to put away, but didn't.  The cats had rechristened them in fur.  This time they're going up. I did some vacuuming earlier & it was amazing how much shed fur I picked up.  I should sell that stuff.  They could make cat-fur sweaters.

Not much else going on here now.  

Cya...

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Gotta Run...

We have a bit to do today, so much of  a post really isn't possible.    My roomie has a doctor's appointment in Fort Smith.  On top of that, it picked this morning to storm. Yippie for me!  We'll be out.  There's a chance the electricity & internet will be as well,  So, this is what I have for today.

Cya...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Changing Plans...

My roomie got a call notifying her her doctor needed to reschedule an appointment.   For most people & under other circumstances this wouldn't have been a big deal.    But, today this was a deal of at least mediumish size. 

We've been through a lot of stress this year, especially this last month.  Everything has stayed up in the air for far too long.  We were finally starting to get so order back in our routine without all the extra external stress people were bringing to the party.

The appointment got moved up & not postponed, which in my thinking was a good thing.  But, she was just waking up, had a doctor's appointment this morning & had just been to this doctor last week.  On top of everything else, this was just enough to cause a bit of not-quite-panic, but certainly some anxiety.

Plans are there to help you get order in your life.  Yes, sometimes they have to be altered for things beyond your control.  But, sometimes, they get altered so much, they hardly count as plans or routines any longer.

It's a good thing she has her appointment, it's not good that it couldn't have remained where it was for her sense of routine.  Sometimes, it feels like far too many people look at our routines as merely suggestions & not something we try to live with in our daily lives.  

If those people who want to disrupt you plans can be, then they should be told kiss off & take a hike.  Your time, your schedule, your needs.. all those things are important.  Just as important as whatever reason these other people think you should alter your plans to fit their needs.

Sometimes you have to suck it up & go with it.  But when you don't, tell them, "No!".  You shouldn't have to alter your life to make someone else's easier, when they most likely wouldn't so the same for you.

Cya...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Pressure Changes...

In typical Spring fashion, everything weather-wise is being up & down.  Rainy then dry, high then low allergens,  warm then cold, etc..   The biggest issue I have with this is the pressure.

My house has been become a pressure cooker in the mornings.  If I don't leave the windows cracked, even though it's chilly, I wake up to a lot of stale pressure in the house.  I have to open the windows & doors to get things to level out again.

Until I get the pressure to level out, my had feels like it's in a vice.  Not a pleasant thing.   Hopefully, the temperature range will start to settle down soon.  That's 1 of the main culprits in this mess.  

We might be going out this afternoon, so I'm writing early.  This will be short.  I have to admit other than the pressure stuff, I'm feeling better this week.

Cya...


Monday, April 21, 2014

It's Raining...

The weather's a little chilly here this morning, but my head feels better.  The rain's been coming down softly all morning.   I hope we get a decent amount.  It's rained just under 2" here for the month & that puts us a little under halfway to our monthly rain average for April.  We did alright for March, but hardly got any rain totals for January & February.   If this doesn't pick up soon, we're definitely heading back into drought & serious fire hazards.

At lest for today the rain's cleaning the allergens out of the air.  That's good for me.  What's weird is the 10 day forecast.  It's showing us having lows in the mid 40's up til the end of April.   That's pretty chilly for us that late in Spring.

I like thunderstorms.   I sleep better in them.    I guess it's something people who grew up with them find soothing.  For those not accustomed to thunderstorms, they can be a bit overwhelming. 

We went shopping this morning & my post Easter candy hunting was a great success.  I'm glad we got out of there when we did though.  In my area, any time it rains, the locals flock to Walmart.  I think they're stocking up for the next big flood.  They've probably got plans for arks in their garages.

Besides it being wet & dismal, it's been a pretty good day so far.  I like the rain.  I'm happy my sinuses aren't irritated.  As long as it doesn't flood or bring a tornado, it's fine by me.

Cya...

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Easter...

I'm not into the religious thing.  The best thing about this holiday is getting candy & watching religious folks try to convince everyone else this day is somehow more important than other 1's.  Not happening here.

Tomorrow, I'll have my own Easter hunt.  I'll be hunting for leftover candy at Walmart that's marked down to move.   That's my idea of celebrating this holiday.  

Our menu isn't very Easterish either.  We're having red beans & rice.  It's the 1st time I've tried making it from scratch.  We'll see how that goes.

Hopefully, whatever this day means to you, it'll go well for you.  Happy hunting.

Cya...

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Another Saturday...

It's a quiet day.   It'd be a nice day if not for all the allergens.  I guess it's still a fairly good day, I could just do without my sinuses aching.  Usually, we get a break from allergens in the Winter.  That didn't happen this year.

This year's proven difficult so far.  I'm hoping things settle down soon.  I've had enough stress for quite some time.  

It seems like I can finally wake up to temperatures above the 30's.  The 10-day forecast has the lowest being in the 40's F.   This is a good thing.  I will never be a fan of the cold.

Tomorrow is Easter.  It looks like it'll be a good day for those celebrating it.   Monday, I'll go raid what's left of Walmart's marked down Easter candy.    

That's pretty much it for today.

Cya...

Friday, April 18, 2014

Whew...

We're home after shopping.  I'm hoping our week is done.  I've little strength left for anything else.  This last month has been beyond taxing with the benefit renewal process & the issues with my specialist.  

We've got nothing planned for this weekend.   Yay!   It's been a busy 1st of the month for both of us & we could use the breather.  

To be honest, I'm still worried somewhat about the benefits thing.  I won't really believe it until the $ is in my account.  I have another month before I find out whether my specialist will actually show up this time.  

Trust is not something I come by easily & these things have burned me.  I doubt I'll really ever trust either of these things.  That's a bad thing for me.  When I have to deal with things I don't trust, I tend to get really anxious about it.  I wish people would just do there end of things & it would all be so much easier on everyone.

Hopefully, this is all set.  If it is, I'm done for the month.  The bills are paid & the major errands ran.  Now, it's only house stuff & shopping.  Actually, I have to have blood drawn at the end of the month, but that's all I can think of for now.

Here's hoping for a easier tail-end of April.

Cya...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Maybe Over...

Called Human Services to check & see why it was taking so long to hear about my benefits renewal.  According to the person I spoke to, I've been renewed.   I'm not sure why I haven't been contacted via mail or phone, but oh well.  

I'm still not over it yet.  Until I see a letter stating it or I see everything is still working next month, this could all still screw up somehow.    This is still somewhat stressful.

Hopefully, they'll send a notification letter soon.  I really don't need this crap.  I've been dealing with this since March 18 or 19th.  Why prolong this mess?  Because they can & they like to know people are miserable.

Cya...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Stigma & Prejudice...

Occasionally, I read articles telling me the HIV stigma is over.  That's BS & everyone know's it.   It doesn't matter how much info is out there, some people just get off on being jerks & fear-mongers.  

This article details the events of a recently diagnosed, + man being forced out of a city league sports team.  Read the article, it's pretty direct.  A city rep asked the man's HIV status & when it was clear the man was +, the city representative removed him from the team.

So much ADA protection.  So much for HIV scare being over.  So much for the open signs of discrimination against + people going away.

Apparently the city has made "corrections" & the man can be back on the team next year.  Too bad he was on a team that was going to playoffs & they booted him right before.   The person(s) responsible for booting this player should be fired immediately.  

Cya...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Just Back...

Had to take my roomie to her appointment over in Fort Smith.    We left by 9:00 AM, didn't get back until almost 2:00 PM.  That was a tiring trip, especially for her.  

I have things to catch up on from this morning.  I'll blog more tomorrow.  Have a great day.

Cya...

Monday, April 14, 2014

Apprehension...

Apprehension is a good word for my home right now.  I'm wondering if the lawn guy will ever get to finish the yard.   More importantly, we still haven't heard anything back in regards to our benefit renewals.  

My roomie has a doctor appointment tomorrow, so tomorrow's post will be brief.   The appointment is with a new doctor.  She's nervous about it.  It's a doctor she hasn't met before, for a subject she hasn't had to repeatedly approach with a physician before.

I was very skittish about the possibility of having to get a new specialist recently.    I get her anxiousness.  Going to a doctor can be a unnerving experience in the best of situations.  Going to a new 1 under unfamiliar circumstances can be very trying.  

She's done here best to alleviate stress & potential issues.   We'll check the tires & gas up on the way out.    She's called for explicit directions. We'll leave early enough to allow for traffic & all the forms she'll need to be fill out.   

Past that, there's little she can do.    That's the problem, once there's nothing more we can do about a situation, a lot of us start to panic.    When actually, it should be the time we just let go of it.  We've done what we can, now we just have to wait & see.  I, by the way, most often do not manage to do that.    

It's hard to let go.  To admit, there's nothing more we can do.  But, sometimes, that's the simple truth of the matter.  What could've been done, has been done.  Sometimes, that just seriously sucks.  If we can keep doing something, anything, we don't have to think about it as much.    Thoughts can be a killer.  Especially when they're about things you have absolutely no control over.

Tomorrow will come.  She will probably be nervous.  Understandably so.  Then the appointment will happen.  What will happen then, who knows?  But, at least that part of this process for her will be over.

Cya...


Sunday, April 13, 2014

Oh Well...

The lawn guy didn't get back to weed eat yesterday.  Apparently, he had some family thing.  He probably won't be able to do it today, because it's raining.   We may have to wait a bit.  

The rain is cooling things down again.  We're supposed to drop down to the upper 30's.  Hopefully, we won't dip that low.  I'm ready to put away all the Winter clothes.  

Not much is going on today.  We have a busy for us week coming up, so I'm thankful for a slow day.   We have errands, appointments & trips to Fort Smith this week.  Like I said, busy for us.

Hope everyone has a good week coming up.

Cya...

Saturday, April 12, 2014

1st Time...

Our lawn was a Madonna song until this morning.  It got mowed for the very 1st time of the year.  The lawn guy hasn't come back to do the trim work yet, but hopefully he will soon.  The yard was getting pretty shaggy.  Glad that's over.

My sinuses on the other hand are not so happy.  It's allergy season & that's leading me to have more nose bleeds.  I had a moderate 1 yesterday as the sun went down & woke to a minor 1 as the sun came up this morning.   My body doesn't like the pressure shifts from day to nighttime.

Maybe this will be the worst of the season.  At least the yard looks better.  

Cya...

Friday, April 11, 2014

Should've...

I should've mentioned something yesterday, but I forget.  So, here it is.   My new approach to handling my pharmacy worked in round 1.  I decided instead of waiting for them to call me about my refills, I'd call them.  They usually called  4 - 6 days before the alleged delivery date.  I decided I'd call them at the end of the month, about 9 - 11 days before the delivery date.

At least for this 1st go around, it worked.  That could just be a fluke.  Well have to wait & see.   Hopefully, this will fix the problem.

It may seem like something minor, but this was causing a lot of stress in my life.  I want to make sure I pay attention to the plans I make to improve my life.  Especially, those that actually work.   If this works, it'll be 1 less stressor in my life.

Cya...

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Errands...

I've got a bit to do today, so this will be a short post.  
  • I still haven't heard anything about my benefits.  This is frustrating.  
  • The wind is blowing hard, but no call for storms
  • I have to go pay a bill
  • The whole country is dealing with high allergens
  • Allergies are getting to my roomie, the cats & me
  • The lawn guy should be by soon, yippie more allergens
That's about it for now.  More tomorrow.

Cya...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

1 Down For Now...

I still haven't heard anything about my benefits renewal.  However, I have made some progress on specialist doctor front.  Yay me!

I started calling Monday to no avail.   My assigned case worker has slipped from good, to OK, to failing.  If you can't return phone calls regarding someone's health, then you're failing as their clinical case worker.  

Yesterday, I started emailing a program high up & phoning the office manager at OSU internal medicine in Tulsa.  My call was  promptly returned.  Point for the office manager.  She had to check & return my call, but within a few hours I had my answer.  Another point for the office manager.

I now have an appointment with them via telemedicine in late May.   I'll have to have my labs drawn again.   Hopefully, this appointment doesn't get cancelled like the last 1.  

This has been stressful.  Still, I did find out there is another doctor in my area.  I did make them realize I couldn't handle the situation they were proposing.   In the end, this may turn out to be just a snag in my relationship with my current specialist.  I hope so.

Cya...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

+ - & more...

This article talks about how there's more than just + & - in regards to HIV status.  Let's just recap this quickly.

  1. HIV +:  Undetectable Viral Load:    Usually on a regimen & in care 
  2. HIV -:  Test & Condom:  Use condoms & test their status
  3. HIV +:  Unknown:  Don't know their levels & not usually in care
  4. I Don't Know:  Not tested
  5. HIV -:  These people assume they're aren't +
  6. HIV -:  On PrEP:  In carer & on Truvada to prevent HIV
I think this article promotes some interesting discussion.  Too bad some of the folks in the stie's comments were so hostile   Being + or - has always been too simplistic.  That was assuming people knew their status.   that was assuming their testing was recent.  

I have been all the above, except for 6.  I was 2 & 5 simultaneously.  I was getting tested & using condoms & thought I was -.  Then I was definitely a 4 for a while before I got tested & became a 3.  It took me a while to get into the 1st group.    Today I am a 1.

Do you know your status?  Do you know your levels?   Are you on a regimen?  Are you in active care with a physician?  How about all those questions for your partner(s)?  I seriously hope this opens up some discussion & not just the bitter troll-fest I saw in the site's comment section.

Cya...

Monday, April 7, 2014

Picking Sides...

This article details a schism in the gay community.  To use Truvada as an HIV preventative or not.  Some people view this as something that will make people more reluctant to use condoms than they already are.   Even though this med would only help with HIV & not other STD's.  

The pro's for the use of Truvada are simple.  It can lower the chance of contracting HIV.  That's a pretty big point in it's favor, especially for those that refuse to use condoms.

The cons are a bit more numerous.  Truvada without some form of assistance or insurance is over a $1,000 (US) monthly.   The list of side effects & interactions for this med are as long as any other HIV med.   In addition, you will need regular labs drawn to keep an eye on your status & any chance of toxicity.  

This puts aside all the political & moral hoo-ha about the matter.  Many are taking this as a chance to promote their moral superiority over those that use the med as preventative.   Cheap shot in my opinion.

Personally, I wouldn't use Truvada.  Not for a moral reason, but for a health & financial point.  I can't afford it.  If I wasn't +, there is no way I'd want to deal with the fallout of HIV meds.  This med helps, but it isn't guaranteed to keep you safe. Maybe someday there will be a pill we can simply pop & there goes all the chance of transmission without any serious cost or consequence.  That day isn't here yet.  

Cya...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Wiped...

OK, I overdid Friday.  Which sucks, because I didn't do that much in comparison to a healthy person.  I dealt with numerous loads of washing, mostly Winter blankets.  I drove to Fort Smith & back.  I cooked a little.   Still, come Saturday I paid for it.

What I did wasn't much, but it was out of the ordinary for me.  There were lots of repetitive motions.  There was a lot of dust & dander on those blankets.  The weather did a nose dive & things got cold again.   I'm still dealing with the stress of benefit renewal & doctor issues.  Add to that, for at least a little while yesterday we were under a water biol warning in our area.  Too bad I didn't find out about that until after I'd drank a liter or water, a lot of tea & brushed my teeth.  

The water boil warning was lifted & I'm still not sure how much of our area was impacted.  I don't feel sick yet.   We went shopping yesterday & as the day wore on, I wore out.  By evening I was exhausted.  My arms felt like dead weights & I had a slight fever.   I did my best to get to bed & get some sleep. 

Sleeping didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  I kept waking up.   It's still chilly today & my allergies are giving me a slight fever & headache.  

I seriously need for some of these environmental factors to tone it down for a while.  The only factor here I can really control is my activity level.  It seems for now, it's going to have to stay on a lower setting.  At least, I got some of my exercise done this morning. Maybe I'll sleep better tonight.

Cya...

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Mistake...

I spent yesterday washing a lot of the Winter blankets, afghans & throws.   They needed to be washed so they could be put up for the season.   It seemed to be a good time to get this process started.  There are a lot of cover to be washed.  

I was mistaken.  It was not the time.  I woke cold last night.  I woke up this morning cold.  It's still chilly.  I thought this cool stuff was behind us.  I was wrong.

Luckily, I hadn't washed everything yet.   The jacket is back on & the stove is lit.   We're almost a week into April, this weather should be out the door.  We're in the 50's F, with high humidity & a little wind.  This is a too brisk for me today.  

I want the blankets put away  I want the stove turned off.  I want a warm, pleasant Spring.  What I'm probably going to get is going from damp & dreary to blazing Summer crap.  That's weather in Oklahoma for you.

Cya...

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Bit Of A Rush...

Due to inclement weather our schedules got altered.  I'll be heading out fairly soon to go get my roomie from Fort Smith.  In the mean time, I have a bit to do around the house.  So, this is all for today.  

Have a great weekend everyone.

Cya...

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Secret...

This article is about a campaign called, My Status Is Not A Secret. It's promotes public recognition & awareness of people's HIV status.  It wants to push this via various media outlets by announcing people's status.  These are consenting people, so this is a personal outing, not a violation.  

I get what they're trying to accomplish, however, it's never that simple.  There are a lot of things that have to be taken into consideration 1st.   Is it safe for you to do this?  Are you ready for the reactions to this?   Will you tell those close to you 1st or will they find out via a Youtube video?  

You have to realize that once done, this can never be undone.   You would willingly be giving up your privacy on the matter.  There could be serious benefits to you, but there could also be nasty consequences.  

I don't treat my status as a secret.  However, for those in my life, I want to decide who I tell & not as much as possible.  I don't consider my status a secret, but I might consider it none of your business.  

For anyone out there considering this, I hope you take the time to really mull this over.  If you opt not to, I totally get it.  If you go for it, then I wish you well.  

Your status doesn't have to be your secret.  But your status doesn't have to be anyone else's business either.  Whatever your choice, your status shouldn't be the end-all, be-all of who you are.  You're more than a + person or someone living without HIV.

Cya...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Letting Go...

As a kid, my family rambled all over.  I constantly had to give up things or lost them.  During my 20's, I'd have people come up & call me by name.   They'd look familiar, but I couldn't recall them.  They knew me from somewhere I'd lived before.  They always had more recollection of me than I did of them.  It was very uncomfortable.   I'd do my best to recall, but I usually couldn't.  They probably felt very insulted.

Part of being a kid with parents like mine, was having to block things out.  To make yourself forget places, things & even people.   You had to live in the now.  The past was gone & who knew what the future was going to be.

As I got older & my parents were no longer part of my life, I swerved the other direction.  I resisted letting go of things in my life, even if they weren't the best thing for me.  I held onto crappy jobs, questionable friends, junky stuff, etc...

The idea of letting go just seemed wrong.  I wasn't above purging clutter from my life.  I actually like that.  But things that meant something to me could become objects of burden I had a real problem getting rid of. Keeping these things gave me some sense of control.  Not a good 1, but still it was something.

My roomie can have similar issues & neither of us like letting go of things that are still in good shape.  If we can find someone who can use them, that's great.  If not, they tend to linger in our lives.

Sometimes, we find things are becoming burdens in our lives.  Unnecessary things take up needed space.  Annoying people just won't push things far enough to give the boot.  Books or shows become a task to endure.   

Still, for some time, we push on with these white elephants.  Because we feel like we're betraying these things.  Like if we only tried a little harder or a little longer things might work out.  But, they won't.

It's best to treat this like a bandage.  Grab the edge & yank.  It'll be uncomfortable, but then it'll be over.  The slow way only prolongs the discomfort.   

We recently gave up on a TV show.  It was 1 we really liked & we still like the characters.  But, the writers ruined it.  It's only a TV show, but still that twinge of remorse was there.  I'm glad we let it go, but still I'd rather it just had worked out in the 1st place.  Now I'll wonder what could've been with that show.

I'm not a hoarder, the idea repulses me.  However, when you've had some much taken away from as a child on repeated occasions, it gets very hard to relinquish these things & the control or stability they represent.  That TV show is gone from my life,  I'm fine with that.  But, I'm angry stupid people ruined something of mine.

That's part of my problem with my current HIV specialist situation.  The idea of letting go of my old 1 & changing, makes me trepidatious & angry.  If only my old doctors had just kept themselves functioning in a more conducive manner, I wouldn't be going through this now.   But, here I am.   I'm holding onto the past, because it's familiar & I'm resistant to this change.  I hate jumping headlong into things.

Cya...

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

April...



April is here & it's leading to a host of celebrations.   Today is Fool's Day.   We have several religious holidays this month, including Easter.  We have  Earth Day & Arbor Day.  We have the anti-holiday, April 15th, US tax day.  

My wants for the month are the same as last month, "No Drama!"   I've had my fill for a while.  Let it be someone else's turn for a bit.  

I'm going to call my specialist in Tulsa & see if I can get any more info on the telemedicine situation.  If I can't, I'll start proceeding with the new doctor.   Here's hoping 1 of the 2 pans out in my favor.

Happy Foo's Day...

Cya...