Cya September...

We're going out on a sour note.  I had to go to the doctor's office this morning.  My eye hasn't gotten any better, actually it got worse.  It went from red & puffy lidded to very red, puffy lidded & swollen.  It's weird having a swollen eye.  My lid won't even close all the way.  That made my shower interesting & stingy.

I had to see the nurse practitioner instead of my Dr. I think he was out.  She prescribed some eye drops.  I hope they work.  We'll see, if not I'll be back to the doctor's soon. 

This isn't being the most conducive for blogging, so I'll sign off for now.

Cya...

Last September Sunday...

This is the last Sunday & next to last day of September.  This month has flown by.  I guess once the weather cooled down & we finally got comfortable, we mainly just slept, a lot. It started out a hot month, but it's coming to an end with some serious chilly days.  

I like September once you get past my birthday.  That pretty much means once you get Labor Day weekend (USA) & all it brings.  After that, the hot days are on the way out & better sleeping weather is coming.

We're entering the heart of Autumn & the holidays will quickly follow.  From here we have Halloween specials & then onto Thanksgiving & more wintry things.

I hope we get a good fall this year.  I want crisp weather for a while, not hot or frigid.  I want to see some color in those leaves other than dry, burned out browns.  I have high expectations for you Autumn.  So, get cracking.

Cya...

Off My Game A Little...

I apparently slept with my hand pressed against my eye last night.   My right eye is quite sore & I look like Scott Baio gave me pink eye.   It's not pleasant to look at this screen right now,so this post will be brief.  What a way to start 1,001 posts. Hopefully, a night's sleep & it all be back to normal.  Unless of course I sleep on it again.  

Cya...

Wow...1,000...

I haven't gone looking for candles in a long time for this blog.  But this is my 1,000th post.  It's hard to believe I've stuck with anything this long, but I have.

I know a lot of what I post about may seem trivial to some.  But, I only stated I'd write about my life as a 40+ man living in rural Oklahoma who is HIV+.  I've done that, even when it's been about how the little things in my life are impacting me.   I've also blogged about articles that I found pertinent to my blog & my life.

Here's to my blog.  Here's to me, for keeping at it.  I appreciate having this blog to write in daily.  I'm happy that I kept writing it.  So cheers & yippee to my 1,000th post.  I hope everyone has a great day.

Cya...

No More Barilla...

According to this article, the Barilla company stated it had no intentions of ever embracing gay people in regards to their products.  Fine, so be it, it's their business.  Then again, it's my $ & my cash won't be going to any of their products.  If they are against me or those like me, then I most certainly will not spend my resources to support their company.  

It won't be the 1st time I've stopped supporting a business over their politics or social/religious causes. It won't be the last.  I refuse to support any business that ultimately opposes my rights or the causes I support. I may not be able to much in this world for the causes I support, but I can do my best not to support those who would oppose those causes.

Sometimes, in life you have to give things up for something you believe in.  This time it was Barilla pasta.  Oh well, there are a lot of other pasta's out there.

Cya...

Uggh Issues...

I'm not sure if it's the weather, allergies, meds, something I ate or a combo of all the above, but my stomach is giving me hell today.  It's a bit difficult to concentrate on blogging or much else with my stomach being so topsy turvy.  

It's just another wonderful thing I've had in my life ever since I became +.  The meds are rough on your digestion.  Allergies can screw with your stomach. Weather & diet can both affect me.  I'm far more sensitive to all of this since I've contracted HIV.

Small things, that most people get by with can become big issues for someone with HIV.  I've spent a good amount of time in the bathroom this morning & the day is just getting started.  These are the issues that would make a day job a real challenge.  Hopefully, my focus will be better tomorrow.

Cya...

Crossed Wires...

Somehow my specialist's office lost my appointment time.  Luckily, they called & the appointment wasn't supposed to be until next February.   My last appointment was in an odd location & some of their equipment seemed off.  I bet they lost my appointment after it was set then.

At least they called today & we managed to get it straightened out.  It's things like this you have to stay on top of with these people.  You think something is set only later to find out they messed it up.  

Sure, it's only a clerical error, but that could've cost me an appointment slot.  That could've screwed up my appointment intervals & how my insurance handles things.

It's rarely the big things these people mess up.  It's things like messing up the entry of your appointment into the computer or not drawing enough blood for testing.  It's these little things that can really become royal pains in the ass.

Cya...

No Commonalities...

This article discusses common symptoms in the early sages of HIV.  It states, there are none.  It goes on to list many common ailments people frequently have that they may never even associate with being +.

• Fever
• Fatigue
• Aches& Pains 
• Sore Throat
• Headaches
• Menstrual Irregularities

These were just some of the many common conditions that filled this list.  Any of which you wouldn't think twice about having.  You'd take a Advil & go on.  

The point here is exactly that.  The symptoms early on are easily misconstrued or even ignored.  That's why 1 in 5 HIV + people in the United States are unaware they have the virus.  This is why it's so important to get tested.  

Sometimes, I find it hard to believe these conversations are still necessary.  Where's everyone been for the last 30 years?  Hopefully things will get better.

Cya...

Major Chill & Hello Fall...

We hit in the upper 40's F last night. Today's high is only supposed to be 80.  It got chilly.  Sure in a few months from now, these temps will feel downright warm, but right now that isn't the case.

My body isn't sure how to this just yet.  Less than a week ago we hit 104 & stayed in the upper 70's at night.  Seriously, weather give me a chance to acclimate to this stuff.  

My nose is congested & I'm chilled.   I'll adjust to this, but for now it's just got me feeling a bit off.  I hope Fall lasts a while this year.

BTW, welcome to Fall.  This is the 1st day of it.  So we day farewell to Summer.  A weird Summer at that.  Until next year, hopefully the next Summer will be as pleasant.   Hello Autumn, hope you stick around a while.

Cya...

Trust, Routine & Stress...

When you live a restricted life; disabled, limited income, elderly, etc.., you become acutely aware of certain things.   1 of those is, life is abundant with stressors & sorely lacking in things that bring us comfort, security & rejuvenation. 

We use these things to get us through our lifetimes with our limited means.  A common tactic is having a routine.  I think under such circumstances as limited income or chronic illness, a routine is an absolute must for maintaining your life.  Even if, the regimen itself, can at times becoming taxing & irritating.  

We find little things to take joy in & lift our moods.  Things to look forward to throughout the day.  A certain cookie you have on Friday afternoon or your afternoon tea.   It all sounds terribly British, but it's what  a lot of people do.

My roomie takes a small amount of joy in the teas I buy for her.  They're not expensive & until recently they were easily obtainable from Walmart.  Being they were easy to get & affordable, meant they could be something she could have relatively often.   They lightened her load a bit.

But Walmart had to go & screw it up.  I used to buy her 6 varieties of tea, of which Walmart no longer carries 5.  3 of them were part of a Lipton line,  I think the company discontinued, so not Wally World's fault there.  But the other 2 are still in production.  

Sure, it was just a tea blend, but it was the loss of another thing.  Another thing that helped her get through her day.  It was another chip at her routine. Her attempt to bring some order to the chaos of her life.  It was something that gave her a bit more strength to carry on with things.  Now those things were gone with nothing thing to replace them with in the foreseeable future.

Her routine was challenged.  Her trust in what she could have was weakened.  Her irritation with Walmart only added to her stress.  Luckily, I managed to find 2 of the tea blends online for a price we can handle.  Still, the routine has been altered & not because we choose to do so.  Some outside thing stuck itself in our lives & screwed things up again.

Screw you Walmart.  To hell with you Lipton.  You messed with our regimens.  You caused us stress.  You broke what little trust we had in your companies.  I hope the people that actually make these calls get fungal infections in places they can't reach.

In the end, we have had to alter our routine.  My roomie has lost 3 tea blends. It was all another big mess we didn't ask for nor need in our lives.  I seriously dislike surprises.

Cya...

Cooling Off...

I felt fairly poor yesterday.  We hit 95 F in mid September with high humidity & allergens.  Add that with the yard work & I was shot.  

Luckily it rained a little & cooled off a lot.  We're not supposed to get out of the 70's today.  Serious YEAH!!!  I slept well last night & feel way better so far today.

Had to go deal with Walmart hell this morning.  They stopped carrying half the tea I buy.  I looked at the other store in town.  They didn't carry what I needed either.  So, I'm reduced ordering fairly basic Celestial Seasonings Tea online.  Oh well, at least I found it for a good price.

Here's to cooler weather & soft rains.

Cya...

Still Recovering...

I know the yard work was this weekend & now it's Thursday, but I'm still on the mend.   Besides the exertion of the activity & all the debris it exposed us to, nature has decided to heap more on the pile.  We've been excessively muggy here for days, seriously rain already.  In addition, the allergens are still very high.  

I'm not feeling all that well.  I'm a bit worn out.  My sinuses are shot & my eyes are itchy.  Focus is not something I have in great abundance this morning.  Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow.

Cya...

Genes...

This blip of an article discusses some recent research into a gene that could be used to control HIV.  The article is very brief.  The research is in it's early stages.  But this gene seems to affect some level of anti-viral properties in the body.    This MX2 gene appears capable of preventing HIV from replicating copies of itself.  Therefore, it can't spread in the body.

The research is just underway.  They aren't sure if this will be a gene therapy or lead to a new medication.  It's something to keep an eye on though.

Cya...

Sorry Oklahoma...

Every time I think that Oklahoma may just be the worst state to live in, another state goes & does something to assure me that my assumption was quite erroneous.  A school  in Arkansas barred 3 possibly + children from attending public school until their foster parents can provide proof that the children are HIV -.  

Stupidity & bigotry in Arkansas.  Apparently they haven't heard of Ryan White or the ADA.  I'm sure they will soon.  Here's a link to the article.

There's really nothing more I can say only this ridiculously, sad matter.

Cya...

Monday...

OK, we're recovering from the weekend madness of yard work.  I really didn't want to go shopping this morning, but it was that day.  We hit Walmart, which left me disgusted.  They didn't have half of what I needed.  Begrudgingly, we went to the other store & went through it.  They had what we needed, but I really was not up to the 2nd trip.  I was tired, sore & irritated at Walmart for making this extra effort necessary.

1 of the earliest things I learned about living with HIV, was not to push things too far.  I don't care how good you may feel that day, if you keep pushing your limits, you're going to find out how rough living with HIV can be.   I try not to exhaust myself.  I don't want to get physically or mentally worn down.  That will only lead to me getting sick.  Getting sick (any kind) only jeopardizes my overall health.

Even if I think I can do it all, I have to remind myself, doing it can have a severe cost.  Living as a + person, you have to get to know your limits.  It's OK to occasionally push them & see if you can gain more strength.  But, pushing too far will be problematic.

I'm tired & sore,  I know I need to back off a bit for a day or so.  If not, I'll only get worse.  That's life with HIV.

Cya...

Stiff...

I hate yard work, but at least it's done for the time being.  Somehow, we managed to get it all hauled to the curb this morning.   There were several rose of sharon bushes, crepe myrtles, roses, a lilac bush, a peach tree, a snowball bush & a bush with yellow flowers that I have no idea what it's name is.  That fails to mention the low hanging tree limbs that got whacked.  Neither does it list the utterly determined & invasive morning glory vines that were throughout much of this mess.

Regardless, it's at the curb & waiting to be hauled away.  Yeah!  This has left me tired, sore & itchy.    I'm not really in a place to focus on blogging at the moment.  I'm hoping I didn't overdo it.  I really don't want to wind up sick over this mess.  But, it had to be done.  So, we'll see what comes of it.

Cya...

Frazzled....

My head & hands are too spent too really handle a post.  The 1st half of the yard work is done.  The whacking, trimming, chopping & cutting is finished.   Yeah!!! (Kermit the Frog Style)  The tools are put away & the cords rewound. 

I might add the new, mega length, extension cord is wound back up.  The old 1 met an untimely death.  Mr. Orangecord in the Garden with the Hedge Trimmer.  The trimmer it was powering to boot.  Talk about biting the hand (cord) that feeds you.

Now all that's left is to gather up all that crap & haul it too the curb..  Only about 50+ loads to move, just joking, hopefully.   Then we call the people to come take it away.  

• I've been covered in bush crap
• I've been covered in bugs (mostly lady bugs & tiny moths)
• My eyes are stinging
• My sinuses have a "Closed for the duration" sign
• I'm littered with scratches & nicks from the limbs & thorns
• I've had a lot of showers

At least the end is in sight.    That's all I can do for now.

Cya...

13th...

Today is Friday the 13th.  Good luck to everyone.  It's been an OK day so far.  We've gone shopping & that's about it.  I'm getting some laundry done & making plans for the weekend.  

It's time we get to trimming the shrubbery outside.  It's cooler & hopefully dry enough.  We had a blast of rain come through.  We need to get to it this weekend because there are more rain chances this upcoming week. 

I'm not looking forward to this.  It's probably going to irritate my allergies & leave my hands vibrating after using the hedge trimmer.  My hands don't like vibrating tools.  

That's my day so far & what we've got planned for the next few days. 

Cya....

Dr...

Had my doctor's appointment today.  It was tiresome due to half his staff being out for whatever reason.   Other than that, it went OK.

He was fine with my labs & vitals.  I set an appointment for 3 months from now.  Hopefully, I'm doctor-free until then.

Somehow, even with all the eating out & lack of exercise, I managed to lose 3 pounds.  It's not much, but at least I didn't gain any.   I'm amazed I didn't gain any.  I think it's due to being back on the apple cider vinegar.  It really does help cut down on appetite & eliminate fat from your system.

We ran to Fort Smith for an errand, total bust.  At least we got out of the house for a bit. Until tomorrow, 

Cya...

I Think It's Wednesday...

I know it's Wednesday, I took out the trash & it goes to the curb on Humpday.  However, all day, nix that, all week, my days have been off.  I really don't know what through them off, but something definitely did.  Maybe this weekend will get me back on track.  

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.  It should be a standard thing.   Hy. How are you? Take vitals & the like, then out the door.

Other than that not much going this week.  I'm thankful for that.

Cya...

Should I Or Shouldn't I....

That certainly is the ? when considering being open about your HIV status.  This article by Steven Petrow, a gay & lesbian manners guru, delves into that topic.  How or should someone divulge their + status.   It's an interesting read.  I'm not going to synapse it for you, but I will say it's a topic every + person out there will eventually face.

If they're lucky, how others find out will be through them & not some gossipy person in their life.  Over half the people who know I'm + were made aware of it by someone other than myself.  My ex-roommate thought my having HIV was all about him, so he was very quick to gab to anyone who would listen.   He saw nothing wrong with this, after all I was part of his life.  However, if the tables had been turned, he would've been livid.  Stupid queen.  Yes, I went there.

Being gay is your business.  Being + is your business.  In most cases you are not required to tell anyone else anything about your sexuality of serostatus.  Quite frankly, more often than not, it's no one else's business. Unless these things will actually affect the other person, then it isn't your job to disclose unless you choose to do so.  

Be warned, that cat won't go back in the bag. Once it's done, it's done.  Choose as carefully as possible.  In the end, if you do or don't, it's up to you.

Cya...

Hello Monday...

I have no idea why, but I've had the hardest time today accepting that today is actually Monday.  I know it is, but there are several points when I was shopping earlier that I was convinced it was Friday.  There may have been some things I shopped for as if we were coming up on the weekend.  Probably going to have to make another run to the store or do without until Friday.

I hate days like this.  You know those times when you walk into a room & go utterly blank on why you did in the 1st place.  Or when you open a wiki page to look something up, but by the time it loads, you've forgotten what you were looking up.

Oh well, it's Monday & I've gone shopping, at least in part.  That's my day so far.  I hope your's is being more coherent.

Cya...

Same Old...

For the last week, all I've seen in the articles is coverage over porn stars & people purposely spreading HIV.  Neither of which I want to cover, least ways not again.   Big surprise, a porn star's luck ran out & she contracted HIV.  Not meaning to be callous, but the odds were against her & anyone else in that business.  Being in porn is playing Russian Roulette.  Then there's the line of sick people who want to make everyone else +, just because.

As I said, same old crap.  Not much going on in my life either.  Which I guess is good.   There could be a lot of bad stuff going on instead of nada.  Sometimes nothing is definitely better than something.

Until next time.

Cya...

Saturday...

The 1st Saturday or September is here.  All the 1st for days of this month are over.   There's not much going on here.  I'm sort of glad.  My allergies are being a pain.  Normally, they cause me a lot of eye issues, but lately it's been mostly my throat.  

I'm having a borderline sore throat & a lot of sinus drainage.  That's making it difficult to swallow & breath at night.  It's also irritating my stomach.   I hate allergens.

I'm glad I don't have much to say today, Blogger keeps messing up.  I hate it when Blogger decides to be a pain.  It screws with my typing & won't save things correctly.  Seriously, I don't need any help making typos, thanks, but no.  

Cya...

Another Friday..

The 1st Friday of the month is here & we've already been out shopping.  This Summer has been odd &  stressful.  It's caused us to want to be any where but home quite a bit.  That's led us to spend quite a bit more than we should have.  I'm a little upset that we did it, but I understand why we did.  This wasn't spending $ on a new sink faucet or car tire, but it was important.   

We were stressed & anxious.  Sometimes you just have to get away for a bit.  Unfortunately, that costs more than we can really afford most the time.  So, until the holidays, we're pretty much going to have to do without.  That's not that bad.  We'll be fine, but still, we've put ourselves back in this position.

It's easier being in the house in the cooler weather.  There's not as much stress as during the hotter months.  There's also no longer 1 old man cat, doing horrible things in the house.  Things are calming down around here.  Yesterday, was the month anniversary of his passing.  It feels longer.  Sorry to say it Salem cat, but for the last year you stressed the hell out of me.

So our upcoming activities will be more limited.  Oh well, things happen.

Cya....

Day 5...

This is day 5 of my new year & there isn't a lot going on today.  I don't have any plans other than doing some chores & going to pick up my roomie later in the day.  I'll probably try to catch up on some Netflix stuff, but we'll see how that goes. 

I let go of an activity recently & it's freed up a little time.  I'd thought I'd be getting more done.  Instead, I seem just to be reveling in the new, free moments.  That's fine.  Soon enough, I'll find something to fill them back up.

Without that activity in my mornings & the morning dread of my recently departed, shit-zombie cat gone, mornings have been a lot less stressful.    I don't deal well with anything in the morning.  I'm not by nature a morning person.  In fact, I pretty much hate the idea of early rising.  That's for birds & other strange creatures.

I've got a doctor's appointment on the 12th.  It shouldn't be any big deal, just routine. We've got some yard work planned.  We're getting plans for holiday gifts together.  Other than routine stuff, that's just about our month, other than what might pop up.

Cya...

1st Of The Month...

It's the beginning of the month again & there's a lot of stuff to get handled.  We're heading out to run some errands, stop by the bank, pay some bills & hit the stores for some stuff.  It's a bit hectic, but after we're through, that's most of the bills & the like for the month.  The rest of it will be taken care of next week.

The 1st week of the month is busy for us & leaves us with very little $, but at least the bills are paid.  That's some comfort.  At least we know the electricity won't be cut off, because we don't have enough cash on hand.  

Besides all that, I've got to get cleaned up & handle trash at some point today.   Then it'll be downhill from there.  Yeah!

Cya...

Restless Roomie...

My roomie's a bit restless today.  Some things that are supposed to be relaxing & diverting for here haven't been lately.  They've been trying & this has left her wanting to get out of the house for a while today.  So, we're off to see what can find.  Probably just drive around & get something to eat, maybe from El Super Taco.   Yes, that's seriously it's name.  It's pretty much a hole-in-the-wall, drive-thru place, but's food is really good.

Cya...

Labor Day...

It's Labor Day (US).  Which means a lot of places are closed & most people aren't doing much of anything around here.  We made no plans for the weekend.  It's just been too hot & humid to want to be outside if we didn't have to be.    

I'm trying to catch up on some Netflix stuff, that's not going so well. The weather has just left me too scattered to care about DVD's.  At least I get some good TV tonight.  It's the last Ninja episode & next to last 1 for Siberia.  There may not have been much on this Summer & some of what we used to watched we've ditched, but still what we have watched has been fairly fun.  This day is about doing nothing more than some shopping & TV watching.

Cya...

I Made It To 47...

How the hell did that happen?  I've always looked at age as just a thing, a descriptor at best.  I had to stop & count to figure out how old I actually was.  I usually don't think about it.  This is day # 1 of my new year.  I hope it's a more generous & kind year than those previously experienced.  

Also, hello September, nice to have you back.  There's a lot of songs with September in the title.  Check it out at youtube.  Most of them aren't that happy. Figures, nobody wants Summer to end or school to begin.  

Oh well, it's my birthday & September is here.  So long August, farewell to 46.  Until next year for the month & maybe another life time for the year.

Cya...