Happy Halloween...

Happy Halloween.  I do hope you find some joy this during this seasonal transition.  May Samhain find you well.  Happy hunting.  

It was a sunny, if not warm, morning.  The light was very appreciated.   This is the end of October.  The month was fine, except for later downpours & chills.  

The unpleasantries came from other things.  The election, COVID & a greedy streaming company put serious bad energy in the air.   Bad things keep entering the arena & none left.  Few good things are being brought out.  Too bad Apple got greedy with the pumpkin. It may not have been much, but it might've knocked the edge off of all this.

Again, goodbye October.  Happy Halloween.  Take care & go vote.

Cya...

Not Really...

 

I woke & the sun was shining.  It looked pleasant out.  Nope!   Cold weather can be deceptively bright.  This was our 1st morning in the low 30s & I didn't care for it in the slightest.  OK, bugs, allergens & grass, if I have to freeze, you have to die off or go back to hell, whichever suits you.

I see a lot of posts & articles telling me I should be worried about this community or that country not doing well in their fight against HIV.   Most people with HIV are doing their best just to handle their own issues with the virus.  Stop asking us for more. A  lot of us just can't.  How is it so much harder on anyone  else than a gay person in a backwards state? I've had no more support, sympathy or assistance than what's available to anyone else.  

People need to stop making this a "worse off than you" issue.  Because these ralliers don't know a thing about most other people's lives.  I am responsible for me & my health.  I am not responsible for other people's HIV, economy, politics, etc...

Hopefully, there will be good news after this election. We need it.  Maybe some egos can settle down & things can get handled better.  It'd be nice to get past COVID, political ragers & isolation.

Take care.

Cya...

Not Really Here...

 

Not really here right now.  We've been dealing with COVID since March & for the most part I've done reasonably well.  However, we're heading into my bad part of the year.   We've been grey for days & I can really feel it.  This year, there's nothing to do for distraction.  There's no one else, it's just me.  Everything else is just pulling at what little I have left.  

If there's nothing left to help me, then to hell with the rest of it.  At least I get interaction from the porch cat I feed.  I get small moments of joy from watching the squirrels & birds.   The rest of it brings mostly tiresome drama & demands.  I'll do what I can & to hell with the rest.  In the end, I'm the only person helping me.

Cya...

No Prescription Required...

 

This piece says Colorado will soon make it possible to get PEP (post exposure) & PrEP without a prescription & insurance will have to cover it.  This may sound awesome, but it isn't.  I don't have a problem with the PEP part.  If a person has been exposed to HIV, then PEP should begin ASAP.  However, I've always had a problem with PrEP & allowing it without a prescription.

PrEP meds are HIV meds & those require lab work & maintenance.  This article doesn't talk about seeing a doctor, getting labs drawn or the damage HIV drugs can cause to your body.  Allowing PrEP without a doctor is stupid.  

PrEP gives too many people a sense of invulnerability.  It has to be take regularly to be effective.  It doesn't protect against any other STI's or pregnancy. What does & is cheap? DING DING DING!!!  If you guessed, condoms, you are correct.

But they don't like condoms.  They want to be impulsive & spontaneous.  They don't like the feeling.  So, nice of Colorado to help these needy people screw the way they want to.  Not to mention spread other STI's that are rapidly becoming resistant to meds.  Everyone say, "Yay!" for Colorado. 

Rant's over, take care.

Cya...

Countdowns...

 

We heading to some endings. Halloween is in a few days.  It marks the ending of early fall as we head into the holiday season, such as it will be this year.   October is ending & taking Daylight Saving Time with it, damn.  I hate falling back & losing the afternoon sunlight.  Who wants an extra hour of 2020 anyway?

For better or worse, it also marks the end of the electoral campaigns.   Election day is November 3rd.  I hope trump is gone, we'll see.  Articles have been a near deadzone his entire term.  I'm not entirely sure why, but articles dried up soon after his election.

November will mark a lot of endings & beginnings.  We'll have to wait see which is which. Take care.

Cya...

Worse Morning...

 

It's a crappy morning.  The skies are grey & puffy.  It's been drizzling for hours.  I hate this time of year.  Normally, I'd at least get some small outings here & there.  Now, thanks to COVID & other issues, all I do is go from the house to the car.  Maybe to a store if I'm lucky.  I'm sick of this.  I hope everyone who kept this corona crap falls over dead.  

On top of that, the weather will only get worse.  I still need to get other stuff handled that I thought we had planned for.  Then there's stuff to handle that wasn't even about me at all.  I'm tired of handling others' stuff & no one handling much for me.  It's just reinforcing the fact, I've got me & that's pretty much it.  Always such a great thing to know.

Rant's over for  now, take care.

Cya...

More 2020 Drear...

 

Another yucky morning & still no articles.  There are some unfortunate insights that can be gained from this 2020 nightmare.   Many are showing more honest versions of themselves.  We're seeing those who are stepping up, helping, pushing to be creative, remaining considerate...  Then there are the others.

Many are showing how inconsiderate, angry, fearful & hateful they are.  They refuse to wear masks, they endangers lives & businesses, they confront & accuse.  People have been attacked vocally, physically & emotionally simply for trying to protect themselves from COVID.   

During this time, we've also seen people's truest selves peek through into everyday life.   Sides are being chosen; good, bad & hide til it's over.  The bad are going to blame stress & the times when this is all over.  BS, everyone was under that same stress.  Everyone faced COVID, isolation, election insanity, grocery outages, etc...  Some chose to maintain civility, while others did not.

In the end, how people are treating you now, is probably the most honest version of them you're ever going to get.   They may be tired, scared, stressed, etc... but this is them.  Some people are being creative, some helpful, some raging, some attacking, some hiding, some demanding, some manipulating... 

Whatever they're showing you, trust the honesty of their behavior & don't forget it.  Most of us are  in the same boat, no one gets excuses during this ride.  So stop rocking the damned boat already.

Cya...

Another Grey Morning...

 

Yesterday wasn't fun.  It was grey, wet & chilly.  I felt like crap a lot of the day.  The sudden dip into the 40s after being the 80s just days before was too much for me.   I was achy & a little queasy.

I slept with an afghan over my bedspread.  I need to finish all the Winter prepping.   Mostly it's dealing with windows & getting blankets ready. 

My computer still won't deal with the last Windows update.  This update seems to be have caused a lot of people grief.  Way to go Microsoft, make 2020 even worse.  Were you jealous Apple was getting all the hate after hoarding away Charlie Brown?

I wish I had better things to post or at least an articles to discuss.  I don't have either of those this morning.  I think I'll end this for now & just watch the redbirds outside my window.

Cya...

Going Down...

 

It's been in the 80's for the last few days.  That's over & the 70's may be gone as well.  It's cooling down & storms are predicted for the next week.  I know we  need rain, but can't it just rain?  Why does it always have to be storms these days?  

I woke to grey skies, but the warmest it'll be all day.  It's going to get cooler.  It'll probably be blustery & grey all day,  Joy.  

I don't enjoy Fall.  It was always the dreaded return to school.  Then there were the promises of Halloween & the holidays.  Those holidays rarely lived up to the hype or the stress they brought.  Fall is wet, cold & grey.  Nothing for me to like.

We have to go shopping, so this is it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

Wound Up...

 

It used to be I was the only 1 getting wound up this time of year.  The seasonal yick was beginning & I was getting nervous.  Don't get me wrong, it is & I am.  However, it's worse now.  With COVID & this election, it seems like the whole world jumped in this little alcove of anxiety with me.  

Sometimes, it's the more, the merrier.  That isn't now.  Being anxious & stress ridden is bad enough when I'm the only person going through it.   But when everybody else is as well, it's too much.   It feels like there's very little solid ground & what's left, keeps eroding.  

I'm trying not to have a bad morning.  Sometimes, I can manage that, but it's never easy.  Now, with everything else falling apart & other people losing themselves to this, it's even harder.  I know they don't mean to add to my stress, but they do.  Worse than that, they're crowding in & destroying what few anchors I had left.  I really don't like most people. 

What I can say, people need to find a way to lessen these stress levels,   If not, we're a clock wound to tight.  Soon, the gears will grind & the springs will break.  Something has to give & it might be the people.

Maybe tomorrow there'll be articles & it'll be less about me.  Take care.

Cya...

Risky Vaccine...

 

Any new medication can have risks, unknown factors the research hadn't had the time to pin down.  The same is true of vaccines.  If & when a vaccine is made for COVID, it may have many risks & issues.  It may take 2+ applications.  It will probably need to annual  booster like a flu shot.  There are no guarantees in these things.

This article talks about how some upcoming COVID vaccines may actually increase the risk of contracting HIV.  The vaccine shares some of the components of an attempted HIV vaccination.   Researchers still don't completely understand it, but this vaccine actually put people at a higher risk of contracting the virus.  

Many questions need to be answered & precautions taken.  If this is the route the COVID vaccine has to go, I hope people  remember they still have condoms.  In the end, condoms aren't altered by medications.

Cya...

PS - Apple TV sequestered all of Peanuts to their streaming service.  I'll never buy an Apple product. Asshats.  No Great Pumpkin on TV this year.

Pointer Lights & Shinies...

 

The fight against HIV is decades old & showing it's age.  It's not the 1st time interest in HIV has faltered.  As it became more of a chronic illness instead of a life sentence, people wandered off.  They were interested in the effort when they thought they were saving lives.  But, it seems if they were bored by the idea of just helping the cause.

Interest in HIV is waning again.  This article is about that loss of interest & the competition of shiny new  things.   Things like green matters, BLM, etc.. are sparkly things dangling in front of these people & they'd rather chase those than boring old HIV.

Even when interest is high, HIV spreads. However, when focus plummets HIV can rage like a wildfire.  Why does everything have to blaze to catch people's attention?   We're a world of easily distracted, childlike adults.  People whose focus is captured by something else simply by being told to look over there. No wonder we love magicians.

Short term efforts & weekend warriors can help.  But, the long haul of fighting HIV, COVID, rights violations, etc..., takes dedication & maturity. Too bad those things seem to be in short supply.

Cya..

Tired...

 

I went to bed early for me.  I was really tired.  I still am.  This seasonal transition is kicking me hard.  I never do well with them.   The temperature & light changes are something I never adapt to easily.  My body hates them.

The search for articles bared no fruit.  There was an update on the injectable I wrote about yesterday.  It seems the the EU is going to allow it, but there were no details in that blip worth noting.

We're heading out to go shopping & whatever else we need to do.  That's all for now.  Take care.

Cya...

No More...

 

So many people are pushing & demanding lately. I don't get it.  Thanks to COVID, the economy, the election, etc... most people are over it.  They're out spoons, energy, cares, etc...  They have no F's left to give & the next demand, annoyance, hardship may be the last straw.

I've been expecting a lot more people to snap lately.   The social veneer is close to cracking & letting it all crash into mayhem.   We've seen a little with the BLM groups.  There have been other rights groups in the mix as well.  But extremes on the end of both political extremes keep pushing.  I think they want things to utterly disintegrate.

This isn't how they'll get their way.  They may gain some ground.  But anything garnered this way will only be lost later. There are insane rage monsters on both ends & an exhausted middleground. Maybe the middle should take aim at the ends & cut them loose.

Hopefully things will calm down before this escalates too far.  Take care.

Cya...

Loose Threads...

 

Lately, I've felt like a fraying sweater.  Some well worn thing with little threads hanging loose.  A single, wrong tug would be disastrous. I keep tying things off, but more keep coming loose.

For the past several months, on top of the COVID crap & isolation.  It's been a series of, this needs to be handled, this needs fixing, we need to buy a new this thing, etc...  Maybe that's just life, but I don't have the energy for it.  It's just a continuous crapfest raining down leaving me nervous, anxious & exhausted.  I don't want this life.  I'm tired.

Now, it seems like I'll need a new computer sooner than I'd hoped.  Soon we'll need new phones & a plan to go with them.  There will be more expensives too & things are tight as usual.  Getting a computer isn't just about the $.  It's also the setup, meshing it with the others in the house, just getting used to it.  I didn't need this.

I'm stressed & spent.  My roomie got a gift yesterday & all I could see was another thing coming into the house.  How nice of me, she got a gift & I saw stress.  That was just ever so helpful.

On another not, this article, talks about ViiV's long lasting injection & the process it's making to get to open market.  It's a good update.

Cya..

Issues & Shopping...

 

I didn't find any articles this morning.  I did find that Windows updates are still screwing with me.  This will be brief.  I need to get cleaned up & then go shopping.  The sun finally came out & that helps.  I don't need crap adding to my mornings.  They're usually bad enough for me as it is.

Take care.

Cya...

Mid Month Grey...

 

It's as mid October as you can get & it's an overcast morning.  I woke to the garbage truck passing by & a cat demanding petting.   At least the  trash is gone & the cat's happy.  But, damn it's grey.

It looks like the 80s are gone.  It won't be long before the 70's join suit.  I hope it doesn't plunge into cold weather too quickly.   The thought of Winter exhausts me.  

I'm in a state of low-grade loathing of most things at the moment.  I'm over people & their stupidity.  I'm way passed tired of this COVID crap.  On top of all that, grey skies are soon to be here for the duration.   Let's not forget Windows updates are still a crap-fest.   If all of those & more could just disappear & I'd be happy.  Since that isn't going to happen, I guess I'll have to figure out something else.

Take care.

Cya...

Window's F'ery...

 

This will be very short.  I'm fighting with some weird Windows update & hoping it won't kill my system.  For now, that's taking my attention.  I'll post more tomorrow, hopefully.

I hate windows updates & Take care.

Cya...

Chilled & Heated...

 

The weather flipped again.  My allergies are shot, but we dropped into the 40s last night.   The abrupt changes in temps aren't fun.   This weather is doing its best to give people a cold.

I'm finding my ability to be charitable is running low.  It was never that high.   But, people have tapped out what little I had.  

Last Spring I was being charitable about how people were handling COVID, it was new.  By Summer, I was concerned.   We knew about corona & people were being stupid.  Now, in Fall, I'm angry.   People are being spoiled, bratty asshats!   COVID was something that could've been over last Summer, but thanks to them, it's likely ruined all of 2020 & some of 2021.  Thanks a lot, idiots.

This rant isn't over.  I just don't have more to add at the moment.  Take care.

Cya...

Transitions...

 

I'm not good with seasonal change.  We never seem to smoothly transition between them any more.  Instead of casually sliding down from Summer to Fall, there are plummets, storms, temperature surges, allergen waves, weird light levels... Each of these randomly occurring for a couple of months.

We'd been cooler the last couple of weeks.  The windows were closed & the fans were off.  But, the last few days were in the 80s, almost 90s.  It was, open the windows & on with the fans.  It's a return of the bugs, grass & pollen.

It'd be nice it if we could gracefully glide into Winter & not plummet like a graceless child on ice.  These abrupt changes are hard on me.  I'd like to feel decent part of this year.  It'd be really nice, thank you very much.

That's enough complaining for now, take care.

Cya...

Fog Fading...

 

I woke to a foggy morning, but now the sun is burning it off.   I'd like to think that was a sign for my life & maybe things will start clearing up.  Maybe, but I've never been good with belief things.  Myself, my roomie, my state & just about everyone needs things to start clearing up so we can get our lives back. 

There are a great many people & things doing their utmost to keep life in disarray.   Like they need people scrambling & off balanced.    There's no reason for that to be needed unless you're up to no good.  To all the people on both sides of the fence, stop fussing, fighting, protesting, rallying, etc...   Go home, be safe, wear masks, wash your hands, be sensible & lets try to move on from this COVID mess.

Take care, be decent to everyone.

Cya...

Bleak...

 

2020 has been a crapfest of the year.  It didn't have to be, but a lot of other people insisted on making it that way for everyone else.  It's not been easy on anyone, not even people like us, who usually don't go out much.  Still, this is more isolated than normal for us.

As the months passed, we've seen hope of COVID passing fade away.  Too many people are reveling in denying it & the danger it poses.   Each week that passed added to the stress.  Society is playing Russian Roulette.  Eventually, there will be a bang.

Stress has altered a lot for people.  My roomie changed how she made videos.  She removed a large part of herself from them.  She started making vids with judgy robots. But, 2020 just kept piling it on.  

Recently someone close to my roomie passed.  Not due to COVID, but corona limited anyone's ability to be there for the family.  2020 has taken & taken, mostly all it's given is misery.   The books are in the red & don't see them getting back to black any time soon.

Take care.  Be kind to yourselves & others.  No one's doing all that well right now.

Cya...

Shopping & Slow Net...

 

We'll go shopping soon.  There could be more stuff afterwards, it's too early in the morning to be sure.  I'm still not feeling great, but I'm getting better.  It's been a sunny morning, so that helps, a lot.

I'm ready for this COVID & election thing to be over.  I want people back to their old normalcy,  because most of these people's new "normal" is just annoying & insane.  &, having all these people online to work or go to school, has killed the net.  My internet was never great, but now it's like pouring molasses.  So, there's my selfish moment.  Pack up your insanity, at home work/schooling, soap-boxing & get back to "normal".

Cya...

Tired & Wheezy...

 

We ran some errands yesterday.  They shouldn't have been any big deal, but they took longer than expected. Someone was blitzing the area with scent somewhere between tropical vanilla & cinnamon roll.  It was fine the 1st go around, but it kept happening.  

By the time we got home, my breathing was getting  ragged.  As the night went on, it was full on allergy issues.  My breathing & sight were crap, sneezing & wheezing.  It upset  my stomach & gave me a fever.  I'm feeling better this morning, but I'm worn out.

That's about if for now.  Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow.  Take care.

Cya...

Distance Problem...

 

A problem for me regarding my HIV treatment has always been distance.  I've use telemedicine, but it's not the same.  Still, it beats a 2 hour drive for me just to sit in a waiting room for 15 minutes, then see a resident for 5 just to get lab results.  It's not worth the effort.  

HIV shouldn't be treated like a rare, tropical illness.  Loads of people are dealing with, it's a billion dollar industry & we've been actively facing it for almost 4 decades.   Why am I still going to a specialty clinic?

Why aren't at least the more common, socially communicable diseases being brought together in place?  HIV, STI's, Hepatitis, TB,... most are things I'm regularly tested for.  If I'm getting tested for them why aren't they being actively treated in more general locations, instead of being relegated to specialists, hours away?  

If these illnesses were treated like other ailments & physicians were expected to have at least a passing knowledge of them, then we might make a dent in their progress.   These diseases are common in many areas now.  It's no longer makes since to act like they're isolated events.  Normalize these illnesses.  Treat them like any other ailment.  Then we might see them diminish.

Cya...

Risk Takers...

 

Life is full of risks.  Some we have to take.  Most, like walking outside in the morning,  pose a very low threat of harm to us.  But some like things like x-treme sports, driving while impaired, batting at bears, etc... are very risky & dangerous.   Most people avoid those things or prepare the best they can for them.

During these last economic crises, many turned to extreme forms of escapism.  This led many to risky behavior like taking IV drugs & having unprotected sex.   Both, are likely to lead to contracting various communicable illnesses.

During the time of COVID, some previously safe behaviors have become problematic.   Some people are so starved for contact, normalcy & the need to support some belief, they actively engage in unsafe practices.  They even ridicule those who try to protect themselves.   

To those attending large gatherings, not following safety measures & belittling those trying to be safe, the odds are not on your side.  When you or those you care about get ill or worse, you are responsible for that.   If you're going to bellow about how proud you are not to be scared & do as you like.  Then be equally as proud of the damage you've sown.  Own your actions & the consequences.  That's called being an adult.   May the odds be with those unfortunate  enough to have you in their lives.

Cya...

1st October Monday...

 

It's the 1st October Monday.  We've already handled most the bills. We'll finish when we go out shopping.  We had a low COVID day yesterday, it was only the 500s, not the 1,000s+.  I don't trust it.  Our weekend numbers have been low only to have Tuesday's shoot back up. 

I blame this on the "I gotta be me crowd".  Those people who had to go to parties, take their entire family to the store, go to ball games, attend rallies, go to protests, riot, etc...  Sure they spread the virus, but they got to do them.  Asshats.

These are the same people who wouldn't wear condoms to stop HIV.  Now, they won't wash their hands, wear mask or keep a reasonable distance.  I wouldn't care if they just fell over.  But no, they keep going & infect others, damn corona zombies.  The zombie asshole rule definitely applies here.  Long live ZAR.

Cya...

Spent...

 

The initial bill stuff is handled.  But, the weather, light changes, allergies & start of the month has left us a bit worn out.  We don't have anything to do today, that'll give us a moment to catch our breaths & recharge.   

Allergen levels are lessening, but they've lingered so long this year, they're still taking a toll on us.   We had our last mow of the year (hopefully).   It stirred up a lot of dust & yuck from the yard.  Soon pruning will have to be handled.  Trying to get some help on that this year.  

That's about it for now. Take care.

Cya...

Beginning Of The Month...

 

It's not the 1st, but it is the beginning of the month for us.  We need to start the bill paying process.  We'll run by the bank & then a couple of errands.   We paid a weird water bill yesterday, it had a reading of 0.   They said they'd check it.  Still we paid what they said was due, the minimum, it was close to our normal bill.  Next month may be a little higher.  We'll see.

That's about it for now, take care.

Cya...

Nothing Again...

 

I found zip in the way of articles.  I need to make this short.  This morning was our 1st dip into the 40s & my body responded with deep sleep & I slightly overslept.   We have to go shopping in a bit & I still need to shower.  This is it for now.  

Take care.

Cya...

Goodbye & Hello

 

September has left for the year & October is here.  September wasn't a bad month, especially compared to the rest of 2020.   I can only hope for more from October.   I guess we'll see.   

It could get testy as things cool down.  There'll be more people indoors, less mobility, more election agitation, etc...  Try to remember we're all on this boat, so try not to rock it.  No one needs the drama.

The Berlin patient is in most the articles.  I wonder what it's like to posthumously famous.  Maybe it helps the loved ones.  I don't know.   Seems a little ghoulish on some people's parts.

The old month ended with trash going out.  The new month began with a clean slate.  Welcome October & take care.  May the colored leaves, decorations & treats abound.

Cya...