January's Last Oops...

 

Today is the last day of January 2024.  I used to have favorite months & times of the year.  Now, at least for me, they all seem off & wrong.  Mind you, they're distinctive levels & flavors of awfulness, but still pretty trying.  Winter is my least favorite season.  Take the dark, freezing temps & throw the in a trash fire. 

The oops of this post is something unexpected.  I don't know if it is exactly belongs for here.  Maybe it's perfectly fitted for my blog.   Elmo, yes Elmo, on his Twitter (refuse to use X) asked a simple question on the 29th.   This piece covers it more, but it's all over the net.  He asked...

Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?

9:46 AM · Jan 29, 2024

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177.3M

Views

The question was met with a tidal wave of emotional responses.  People described their fear, anxieties, worries...   A muppet asked a benign question & was met with an avalanche of social angst, aggravation, frustration & trauma. 

The question may have been simplex.  It may have been mundane.  But the response was far off the mark from what was probably expected.   Maybe it shouldn't have been.  Did the little bit of fun fur just poked the dike in the weakest place & send a torrent spewing forth?  Maybe this will start a conversation.  It could be cathartic.  Maybe some people will realize just how hard things have been on themselves & others.

This isn't an easy time for anyone.  With what's going on in the world, in this country, how could it be?  People are spent.  They're down to their last nerve & all out of spoons.  Maybe, just try being kind.  If you can't be kind, just walk away & let people be.

Goes to show, even the smallest comment can lead to a firestorm.   Have a heart, be kind.  Some days we're all strays who just need a little compassion.

Goodbye January.

Take care.

Cya...

Warmish...

 

It got warmer yesterday, but I never really felt warm.  Even with it being in the upper 60s, I was still chilled.   It was still very humid from all the rain.  It's supposed to as warm today.  Maybe it will dry some of the wet air.  

I spent a lot of yesterday sniffling & sneezing.  Some trees have started their pollen dumps.   So some wet coldness along with a side of allergies.  Ick.  Oh well, that's just Spring peaking into Winter.

That's about it for today.  Take care.

Cya...

Bright Last Monday...

 

This is last Monday of January 2024.  It'll also be the last shopping trip of the month.  The month seems to be ending a bit warmer & brighter.  That I can appreciate. 

There isn't much else happening.  Articles were lacking again.  This will be it for today.

Take care.

Cya...

Brighter & A Couple...

 

It's brighter this morning & supposed to be a little warmer .  The days are getting longer again, yay!  I'll post about a couple of articles today.

The 1st piece, is about how the HIV virus invades cells.  If you're interested in the more technical aspects of the virus, read this.  It's a little bit of a read, but the info is easy to understand.

The 2nd piece, is an example of over a dozen pieces I've seen on this man dying after a couple months in a local jail.  While there, this HIV+ man was denied access to his meds & contracted an illness in the facility.  The illness was dangerous enough to a healthy person.  It was deadly to an HIV+ man deprived of his medications.  His family is suing.  It's not the 1st case like this or at this facility.

Give those a read & that's all I have for today.  Take care.

Cya..

The Car Again...

 

Yesterday had an issue.  The car wouldn't start.  It'd been having weird starts & some glitchy behavior since the cold snap.  Apparently the frigid temps killed the battery.  We took the car to the shop & they replaced it.  Batteries have gotten pricey. 

For now, things seem to be OK with the car.  We'll keep an eye on it.  Our luck with things doesn't hold out for a single trip.   Here's hoping a battery was all it needed.

That was our day.  Glad we have a nothing weekend.  Take care.

Cya...

None For You...

 

For most of my life, I've never felt I was the intended audience or target of any beneficial actions or possibilities.  It was annoying, but I learned to live with it & make what I could the things available.  Then something happened & I was the target audience.  I found out I was HIV+ & I was Gay.   Woohoo, for once I was in the focus group.  Even if it was for something horrible like HIV. 

The purpose of this blog was for me to record my life & experiences being HIV+ while living in a rural area.  This has never been easy.  At 1st, it was mainly just the rural concept that was the problem.  The research hardly ever considered such areas.  If it did, the works concerned the deep South or other countries.   Basically still not applicable to my situation.  I could count the number of articles aimed at Oklahoma on my fingers.  I'd need just a hand, if it was focused more on rural Oklahoma.  That's less than 10 pieces out of 13 years of daily blogging. 

Now, I'm no longer the focus of even HIV.  It's shifted to racial/ethnic groups.  And there's always the boatload of works over transgender women.   Funny, I hardly ever see anything over trans men or women.  I suppose if you were an mixed race, homeless, drug using, transgender street walker, you'd be the optimum focus group.

Maybe that sounds hateful.  Maybe there is some disdain.  But it really isn't at the trans groups.  It's at all the people who keep politicizing & fracturing the fight against HIV.  I shouldn't be surprised.  This is what happens to every social group & movement.   They splinter into the tiniest of niche groups & then scream when the movement focuses on the original core.

There are lots of articles on trans & racial issues.   They won't be covered here.  That's not the point of this blog & there's a host of trend chasers covering those matters.   I wonder what those groups will do when the focus is no longer on them.

Cya...

Beginning's End...

 

The 1st month of 2024 is winding down. This is the last Thursday of January 2024.  We'll end on a trash day & head into a Leap Year February.  I'll have to get labs drawn for my specialist sometime next month.  

This month looks to end in grey, wetness.  February looks to start the same.   It'd be nice if it was a little warmer than January.  Utility usage is going to be higher this month.  That couldn't be helped.  We had to stay warm & keep the pipes from freezing.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Another Grey Wednesday...

 

Articles are remaining scarce.  The few out there I've already blogged over or they're unrelated to my blog.  So, back to my life.  That isn't much today.  It's a wet, grey trash day.   Doing trash & checking mail will be the high points.  I need this grey to move on for a bit, it's beginning to get to me in the mornings.  The wetness isn't helping.

That's it for now.  Nothing going on & no newish articles.   That's all & take care.

Cya...

More Grey, More Rain...

 

This week isn't going to be easy on me.  I'm trying not be overly affected by the wet gloom.  I don't know how well that's going to go.  

It rained around 1.5" yesterday & is supposed to rain more.  It could be an all week thing.  If so, there will be flooding.  We've exceeded the average precipitation for January.

Here's hoping it doesn't rain all week.  Here's to me & mine not being overly impacted by the seasonal bleh.  I'll be happy to get out of Winter.

Take care.

Cya...

Grey Rain...

 

It hovered around freezing all night.  If the forecast holds, the freezing temps are done for now.  Still the rain is making it very cold.  The wet looks to be here most of the week.  This will be a cold, wet, grey week.   Still, it won't be freezing.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Rain But Warming...

 

The forecast is showing a lot of rain accompanied by a warming trend.  This is still Winter, so the warmer temps are mainly in the 50s.  That's better than the frigid temps we've been dealing with for the last week.

The cold, weird issues & low light have been trying for our household this last week.   We're getting through it, but hasn't been fun.  It'll be nice when things warm up some.  The little heater I use in my room is rough on my breathing & uses a lot of electricity.    This bill's usage will be higher.   If it does actually warm up, I'll need less of the heater.  That also means easier breathing.

I'm ready for Winter to move on.  I know we have until March, but that seems forever away at the moment.  I want warmer temps, more light & the time change.  I'm sure Spring will have it's own issues, but maybe it won't be freezing.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Freezing Weekend...

 

It's another freezer zone weekend.  We won't get above freezing until tomorrow.  We're watching the weather to decide whether we'll go shopping tomorrow or Monday.  After Monday the temps are supposed to jump by about 20 degrees.  That'll be nice.  We need a break from this cold crap.  I definitely was not made for Winter.

That's all for now.  I'm just trying to warm up some, before I go get cleaned up & fix breakfast.  That's taking some time this morning.   

Take care.

Cya..

Responsibility...

 

I have an unpopular belief about HIV transmission.   Unless you contracted HIV during acts against your will or knowledge, you bear culpability for your situation.  There are articles about HIV+ people who infected partners.  If these partners were adult & willing, then it's on them as well.   

This morning I saw a piece about how a + man infected a swingers group.  Come on, really?  Swinging in these times?  Were these people were engaging in sex parties without protection, PReP, on site testing or verification of a recent negative HIV test?

1st, it was wrong morally, ethically & likely legally for this man not to disclose his status.  If you aren't adult enough to be up front about your HIV status & do what you can do prevent transmission, you aren't mature enough for sexual activity with others.  Simply put, you're not fit for company.

It was also the responsibility of the other attendants at this gathering to insure their own safety.  It doesn't seem like they did.   If you go into a situation playing a risky game, don't be surprised if you lose.  Was the + man wrong?  Yes.  Were the others also wrong?  Yes.  It's been decades, we know the HIV game.  If you choose to bend the rules, that's on you.

That's all for now, stay warm & take care.

Cya...

Short Reprieve...

 

Yesterday was warmer & today looks to be the same.  By warmer, I mean into the 40s.  Tomorrow & Saturday will dip back to freezing with all day drips.   By Monday afternoon, we should be warm enough not to need drips every night.  

The snow, freezing & thaw have caused problems for the town's water.  People have busted pipes & it's affecting pressure & sometimes availability.  Fix that soon please.

Other than that, there isn't much going on around here.   Take care.

Cya...

It Could Happen...

 

It could happen today, we could be above freezing for a while.  It'll be nice to turn the drips off for a while.  They'll be back later in the afternoon, but even just a bit is welcome.  We won't be completely past this crap until Monday.  

The freeze seems to have put a damper on articles as well.  I wish they'd quit posting rehashed pieces.  It doesn't help anyone.  It'd be different if they were adding to the information, but they usually aren't.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Still Freezing...

 

Another short post, my fingers are too cold for this.  We woke to temps in the single digits again.  We should get above freezing tomorrow.   It looks like the single digit overnights are over, but there will still be some in the teens.  Hopefully, this cold front will move on soon.  Nothing in this house was made for Winter, not us or the structure.  

Take care & stay warm.

Cya...

Under 10...

 

Winter arrived & it can head right back out as far as I'm concerned.  This will be short.  I'm cold & my typing is questionable at the moment.  It spent most of yesterday under 10F.  It's supposed to get up into the 20s today.  It won't be above freezing until Wednesday.  We're hoping nothing breaks on us like pipes, heaters, water heaters, etc...  

That's it, for now we're cold.  Take care & stay warm. 

Cya...

BTW - Take the snow with you when you leave Winter.

Freezing Hell Days...

 

I know other places get & are colder than us.  I also don't care.  That's not my problem.  My problem is the next several days that will never get above freezing.  Days of having the faucets run in hopes of staving off frozen pipes.  We're doing a grocery run in a bit.  It's supposed to snow later.

Normally, we'd shop tomorrow, but there could be snow on the roads.   Besides that, there won't be any mail due to MLK day.  I'm glad the mail couriers will mostly avoid the bad stuff, at least in my area.  

My only worry is getting through this without things screwing up.  The outdoor cats are staying mostly somewhere else.  I feed them when I can.   Right now leaving water out is almost useless.  It freezes pretty quickly.  I hope they have a warm place.  I don't know where they're holing up.  I've done what they'll let me.  

Take care & stay warm.

Cya...

Can Sue...

 

Drugmaker Can Be Sued for Delaying Release of Better Med, Court Rules

The above is a ruling from a California justice cited in this article.  The ruling affects Gilead's decision to keep marketing TDF (Tenofovir)  While pushing back the the development of TAF to insure the prior's financial success.  The case states Gilead knew of adverse affects the original could have such as bone & kidney damage.  The company continued to market TDF, even though they had knowledge of a safer version, TAF, which they shelved for years.  All of this was done to insure profitability.

The plaintiffs are suing for compensation.  They are not suing to claim the original drug was defective.  Only that it was sold when a knowingly safer version was available.  They believe it was the company's responsibility to promote the safest version.   The suit is over negligence & fraudulent concealment. 

The court announced this can move forward unless Gilead can prove it withheld the newer med for some other viable reason besides profit.  Gilead intends to take this to the state's Supreme Court.  Of course the company is crying fowl.

This is an important development.  Give it a read.  This won't be the last of this & could happen to other companies.  Take care.

Cya...

Frigid Weekend...

 

This weekend could get very cold, single digits, possibly lower.  I hope that skirts us & we just get cold & not breaking crap cold.  The problem is Oklahoma can get just about any kind of weather other than hurricanes.  The next issue, it's not managed well enough to handle any of it.  This place even has earthquakes.  I'm sure it's just a matter of time before a hurricane figures out how move far enough North to affect us more directly.   Maybe Texas will sink into the gulf.

This is impacting our normal routine.  Mondy mail was already off due to MLK Day.  Is it too soon to reiterate how much I hate Winter?  Precious little good comes from it around here.  We're still dealing with bugs & I can see green grass poking through the frost.  

We need to get around & get things going for the day.  Take care.

Cya...

Viral Loads & How Low...

 

I've already posted this article on Facebook, but it's important.  This piece is about viral loads & their measurement.  When I started regular testing, anything under 200 was considered undetectable.  However, most test now measure down to 20.  There are some that go to 10.  Anything under 200 is considered virally suppressed.  This piece questions if this newer, "better", more precise tests do any good.  Or if they only cause worry.  If you're consistently just over 20, you're detectable.  However, your HIV is still suppressed & unlikely to be transmitted to a partner.

There comes a point where precision isn't the aim.  Maintenance of suppression should be the primary goal.  How will doctors react to this?  Probably not well, they're prone to push.  This may become an issue for some people.  The goal is suppression, not perfection.  Until there's a cure even if you're undetectable, you're still HIV+.

Take care.

Cya...

Adjustments...

 

We're watching the forecasts.  There are possibilities for unpleasant weather this weekend.  We may have to adjust some of our plans for it.  I'm hoping most of it avoids us.  It'd be nice not to see wintry mix or near 0 temps.  We don't need or want that.  Pass it on to Arkansas, Kansas or further northeast.  Those people seem to like this stuff. 

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

No More Twinkling, Just Harshness...

 

All the holidays have passed & the yuck of Winter is setting in whether I like or not.  I don't.  Today's already grey, cold & blustering.  That seems to on order for the time being.  Next week is going to be very wintery.  The long weekend ahead could get stupidly cold for us.  After that, it's supposed to warm up to at least our seasonal norms.   No one needs all that frigid, dreary BS.  No one in this house wants any of it.  Send it North where people know how to handle it better.

Other than yuck weather, 2024 is doing alright.  I can't even get too upset about the cold, it's Winter.  I just don't have to like it.  

That's about it for now.  Take care.

Cya...

HIV Is Still Here...

 

Too often, I encounter this attitude that HIV is handled.  People act like it's no longer a threat to the health & welfare of people.  Often the people at risk don't don't fully comprehend the level of danger they're in regarding HIV.  There's too little testing, education & awareness efforts.

This article is about HIV in Arizona.   If you google the population of states & the number of HIV cases you find out a lot.  Arizona has has a population of roughly 7.5 million, while Oklahoma has just over 4.  However had Arizona had 22K+ HIV cases to Oklahoma's just under 7.  The point of the matter is HIV hasn't gone anywhere & this year showed the largest jump in new diagnosis in Arizona.  

It says there were 975 new cases of HIV/AIDS in Arizona that year, compared with 852 the year before. That’s a 14% increase, and the highest total ever — eclipsing the previous high of 940 new cases in 1988.

Besides just an jump in HIV transmissions, they also credit the rise to a significant increase in testing, 19%.  Finding the highest number of new cases among the state's  Hispanic population.  The same can be said of many states.  The more fringe the group, socially, ethnically, racially, etc.. the higher the HIV rates are apt to be.

HIV is still here.  It is still a threat.  It can only be handled by mass testing, education, awareness & treatment.  There needs to be community involvement, recognition & acceptance if there's to be any chance of dealing with HIV in marginalized groups.

This was a short but informative piece.  Give it a look.  Take care.

Cya...

1st Week...

 

We made it through the 1st week of 2024.  Only 51 more to go.  There were some stressful hiccups, but overall it wasn't bad.  House bills are handled, we did shopping & trash, no one is sick, we even had an outing.  So, I'll take this week.  It may not be a winner, but it went well enough.  There were some issues, plans were made, the issues were resolved.  We didn't need the plans, but they were made.  So good for us. 

It's bright this morning.   Seriously cold weather is supposed to be heading our way soon.  I wish it wasn't, but that's Winter.

2024, we don't need tried every week with whatever the universe has.  We don't need testing every month or even every year.  We're good.  2023 caught us for quite some time.  I'm sure other people are in need of some serious testing.  Give them a go.

Cya...

Spoke Early...

 

I spoke too soon about yesterday being an alright day & that 2024 was doing OK.  I won't call yesterday a bust.  However, for several hours it was a very trying day.  

The issues were resolved.  But, the process was stressful & unnecessary.  These matters could've caused serious issues for us.  For now, they haven't.   I won't gripe too much, because both problems were 2023 leftovers.   This was just the punchline. 

I'd like to point out something to the, "I'm so in control of my life," types.  These problems were none of our doing.  Nothing could've done any differently.  Still, they showed up & had to be handled.  These messes were due to outside, arbitrary forces.  May you "control" types have a year of outside interference.  Let's see how well you do.

Take care, for now 2024 is still OK.

Cya...

Frosted...

 

The 1st snow of the season happened.   It was above freezing, so this is mostly just white slush setting on the ground.  It's already melted off everything but the grass.  I wish I could say I like snow, but I don't.  It's just a reminder it's Winter.  It also makes my roomie panicky.  It's just another thing we didn't need in our lives.  It's here & no one asked us, so we'll have to deal with it.

The 1st work week of the year is nearly over.  It's been alright so far.  It's the season of mail interruptions.  Even with the holidays, over there's still MLK & President's Day coming.   Monday mail holidays are a pain.

That's all for now.  We'll head out soon to handle shopping & the remaining bills.  I need to pick meds as well.  That's our day, errands in the cold drear.

Take care.

Cya...

Day 1 - New Blog Year...

 

It's still early days, but so far 2024 has behaved.  My roomie & I are apprehensive about the coming days.  2023 was a train wreck & we need at least a "doesn't suck" year.   A good year seems like a big reach.  Just a year where we're not losing so many things, not so much breakage, stress, worry & free falling.  It felt like I could never get my footing last year.  I'd just get to a bit more solid ground & it'd crumble.  

I don't think I can handle another year of that.  2023 left me exhausted.  I felt angry, scared & hurt.  The problem for most of our issues last year is that none it was our doing.  We did all the things we were supposed to; made the appointments, checked the boxes, crossed & dotted.  None of it mattered.  Things kept breaking, being taken away, disappearing.  If 2024 just doesn't suck, that's a great improvement over 2023.

It's my blog's new year.  It's also the anniversary of my father passing a few years back.  The weirdest thing about that is, I've had to realize I was fine with  it from the start.  Its sad someone died, but the concept of my father had died decades before.  This was just a voice I occasionally heard on the phone.   I'm glad he had other people who were involved in his life & will miss him.  That's just not me.  May his next life bring him some solace.  He needed it.

Take care & may 2024 go well for you. Try to be kind.

Cya...

Anniversaries & New Years For My Blog & HIV...

 

I started this blog 13 years ago.  I'm surprised it & I are still going.  I guess I could've started earlier, but I wasn't in the headspace for it.  For a while I was still living with my last roommate.  His inconsideration wound up causing a lot of stress & issues.  When I did start living with my roomie, it took us a while to get things down.  Not that we didn't get along, but it was all new.  Patterns had to be developed so everything went as smoothly as possible.  When I look back at the beginning of this blog in some ways I was worse off medically & emotionally, but still a bit more hopeful about the future.   

On January 3, 2000 I was diagnosed with AIDS.  I've said before I probably had been + for some time, but the tests didn't catch it.  They said I might have 5 years.  I tested at such a level & was in such bad shape, I left HIV+ in the dust & went straight to AIDS.  Here it is 24 years later.   I won't say it's been easy, because it hasn't.  There are times when I wish the 5 years had been accurate.  Life with HIV on disability is stressful & can be pretty damned scary.  I guess I should feel gratitude, but I really don't.  This has not been a fun ride & nearly every step has had it's hard points.

I'm here & the blog's still going.  They're 13 & 24.  My blog is officially a teenager & my HIV can almost get decent insurance.  I don't know what this year will hold for myself, this blog or anything else.  I guess we'll see.  For now, thanks for reading my thoughts, reactions, highs & lows.  It's the closest thing to a record of me.  Even if only a couple of people ever look at it, at least someone will know it & I are/were here.

Happy Blog & HIV day to me.  Remember to acknowledge your milestones.  Take care.

Cya..

Day 2 of 366 & Last Day...

 

It's the 2nd day of 2024 & it's a leap year, so we get an extra day.  Great, a +1 for more political talk, since it's also an election year.  We can't forget the Summer Olympics either.  Well, actually you can.  I won't watch any of it & I'm sure I'm not the only non-viewer.  2024 will be a year of political & sports crap, oh joy.

Today is also the last day of my year as far as my blog & diagnosis are concerned.  Tomorrow will be their new year.   I've had hiccups in both.  The blog wasn't as strong as it could've been.  It hasn't been since COVID.  COVID is still very present among the articles concerning HIV.  The pandemic & it's after effects have caused hell for the fight against HIV & other communicable illnesses.  

There won't be any promises or resolutions for myself or the blog.  I'll do my best & hope things aren't like last year.  2023 was a year loss, breakage, stress, anxiety & anger for me.  It did a good job of reminding me of place in the scheme of things.  As far as most things are concerned, I'm not even on the social ladder.  I don't expect that to change, but maybe less things will constantly remind me of my station.

2 days into 2024 & so far, we're faring well.  Only 364 more days to manage.  Take care.

Cya...

Happy New Year...

 

It's 2024 & we're nearly a quarter way through the 1st century of this millenia.  I wish I could say it's been a blast, but it hasn't.  It has been is 24 years of being HIV+.  I'm trying to walk into this without too many hopes or fears.   We'll see how that goes.  I'd love to leave the 2023 issues behind.  I will try, but no promises.  I don't do resolutions.   I don't like making promises to myself I know I probably won't keep.

I hope everyone had a good New Years.  I wish you all a joyous & bountiful new year.  May we & the year be kind to us all, especially the strays.

Cya...