I've Had Enough ...

2017, Thank you, but I've had enough.  Can you please leave & just let 2018 start now?   I was hoping this year would be better than 2016, but 2017 has actually been worse.  Thanks a lot. 

To add to all my gripes I've already had with this year, my doctor's office called yesterday & dropped another bomb on me.  My doctor will no longer be accepting or meet some criteria to accept my insurance.  Scary dum dum dummmmm sound!!!!

Apparently, he started working for another nursing home & won't be directly in his office enough hours a week for the state's medicaid not to pitch a fit.  I'll still going there, but apparently my processing will go through the office now & not him,  

They assure me this will all work out fine.  I really hope so.   Right now, I'm scared & angry.  I've had enough scary,  awful, stressful crap this year.    I don't think I can deal with much more.   I don't have any plan-B's for this situation.   

I'm not pleased with much of anything right now, but I definitely know that I hate 2017.  It needs to go right now.  Before it screws me over again.  2017, you are seriously bad luck.

Cya...

Last Friday In September...

My title sounds like a Barry Manilow song.    We went shopping this morning.  Past that, we don't have much in store for the rest of the day or the month for that matter.   

We got the electric bill in this morning.  It's weird still & may be up to a year.  For now, it's not bad.  

The mornings are staying darker & the sun is setting earlier.  I already miss my Summer beasties.   At least yesterday's drizzle brought out all the sparrows to play.   I'm glad the grass won't be needing mowed for a while, but I really hate looking out my window at all the yucky brown.  I know, I can't be happy.

Enjoy the last moments of September.

Cya...

Slight Drizzle...

It drizzled this morning, less than an 1/8".  They say we'll get more. maybe up to 1/3".  That'd only leave us down 4+" for the month & well over a foot & a half for the year.   This has been a dry year for us.   It's been hard on everything.

The drizzle may not have been much, but it was appreciated.

Cya...

Elder Transmission....

According to this article, HIV transmission rates are edging upwards in UK & European populations 50 & older.  The problem is a prevailing image issue, that HIV is not a virus mature people get.   That's BS.  HIV doesn't care about demographic factors.   These people aren't being educated about HIV, their risks or being tested.  Many are in advanced stages of the illness when finally diagnosed, complicating the matter further.

It pisses me off that this far out, people are still so under educated & unaware of HIV.  This is beyond ridiculous, it's borderline criminal.    There is no reason any one living today in a reasonable level of society should be this dangerously ignorant.

Cya...

Fall Funk...

Autumn is here & I'm not doing well with it.  I did OK with my birthday this year.  Seasonal change is weird for me.    This year the weather went back & forth.  It really messed me up.   I know I should be happier.  The'll be no more mowing, fewer bugs & it'll be cooler.  

But, there won't be any flowers, hummingbirds & bright insects.  It means shutting the windows & closing the house for the season.   There'll be less light, less diversion.  It's just more time for me to be in my head &  I don't need that.  I do my best not to think about things anymore.  

For me, 1 of the biggest issues with HIV, is its solitary, permanency.  The knowing it's never going away.  The longest relationship of your life, could wind up being with a virus trying to kill you.  Oh f'ing joy!

It's only 10 something in the morning & I'm already tired.   I need to get a shower.  Maybe I'll watch a movie.  That's been hard for me lately.   My head won't stop long enough for me to focus.  My roomie will home about 5.  Pretty soon, it'll be dark by that time.  I hate that.

I'm just rambling now, so I'll write more tomorrow. Take care.  

I wish you a joyful moment today.

Cya...

Lost Another 1...

When we moved into this house there was an abundance of shrubs & bushes.  Over the years we've lost some.  Due to soil conditions, heat, drought & possibly something living in the soil.   We've lost a rose bush, most of a Rose of Sharon bush, half of an azalea & a good part of a wild rose bush.    It seems another Rose of Sharon bush is falling as well.  I went to check on some dead leaves last night & most of the bush fell over onto the ground.    I might be able to salvage the stump.  

The past several years have been hard on growing anything.   It's either feast or famine in regards to rainfall.  There have been numerous very hot Summers.   Those hot, dry years combined with the near floods have weakened the plants & they're dying off.   I'm not sure how much longer any of these shrubs will make it with this weather.

Hopefully, they'll last.  They're what attracts the hummingbirds & other yard animals.  I'd hate to lose those as well.  

Cya...

Heat Issues...

My roomie & I have felt like hell for the last week.  We weren't ready for the resurgence of heat.  It quite literally kicked our ass.  We  both feel queasy, achy & exhausted.   Between the heat, fans & allergens my body is dried out. My skin is dried & cracking.  My sinuses are raw & I'm dealing with nosebleeds.  I'm going through lip balm like crazy.

This heat is supposed to be gone soon.  I hope so.  I really need to get past all this mess.  

Cya...

Suddenlink Blows Again....

Right after I posted yesterday, the net went out.  We've been having minor blips recently.  This time it didn't come back up.  I power cycled my equipment.  Nothing.   That meant I need to call Suddenlink tech support.  I hate calling those people.  I lose at least 10 minutes & it hardly ever solves anything.  I'm generally left frustrated, angry & still without internet access.

I called &:

• They blamed my equipment again.  Even though it's NEVER been my equipment
• They say they'll have to send a tech out & it'll cost me $50
• They no longer have tier two internet support
• They were rude
• They were incompetent 
• They wouldn't just admit there was an huge area outage
• 2 hours later they finally admitted to an outage
• I could only speak to a recording & had no idea of a time frame
• The net was out for almost 8 hours
• Also, during all this they raised the bill $3.50 a month 

Suddenlink sucks & there's no getting around that.  Their service is iffy at best & their customer service, especially their techs are just awful.

Cya...

Not Sure What To Think....

According to this article,  parts of Africa will soon have access to a top-tier HIV medication for $75 annually.  This medication contains these 3 drugs; tenofovir disoproxil fumarate, lamivudine & dolutegravir.  It's called the TLD combination pill at this time.  I can't find much about it.  As far as I can tell, it's not yet available in the United States. 

Wow, that's great.  Africans will have access to a med 1 step removed from the Triumeq I take.  Instead of tenofovir, my med contains  abacavir.   Tenofovir is half of the PrEP medication Truvada.  Still, how is it Africans will get this drug for $75 annually?   When Triumeq costs over $80 daily.   That's over $2,500 monthly.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy these people will be able to afford treatment.  But why is it we're always making sure people elsewhere can afford their meds?  If I wasn't on disability I wouldn't be able to pay for my medication.   The medical system in the US is a crap-fest, but still so many  Americans focus mostly on the elsewhere.  

I guarantee you, when & if this medication gets approved in the U.S. it won't sell for an annual price of $75.   It'll be priced like everything else.  So, we get to pay for the rest of the world.    For what I pay monthly for Triumeq, 33+ people could be covered for a year on this TLD pill.  That could greatly alter the medical situation in my state.  But, it'll never happen.

Here I thought, poor, white Americans were supposed to be so privileged.  I guess that means we get the honor of footing the bill for things like this.  Yay us!  We didn't need those things anyway.

Cta...

Bad Night...

Blasted hurricanes, they normally bring us some rain.  Which by the way, we need.   This year all they sent was hot, humid crappy wind.  Yesterday was the hottest day of the month & in the top for the Summer.  The humidity made it worse.  We weren't used to it like we were in July & August.  

I barely slept last night.   It looks to be a slightly milder version of the same BS for the next few days.  Until the winds change course were stuck with this crap weather.  

I'm not expecting many good posts until this has moved out of the area.  Hope you're staying cool.

Cya...

Solstice...

The Fall Solstice is here.  I'd say Happy Solstice, but it's too blasted hot for that.  The heat has returned & it's very unpleasant.  It looks to be here until about Sunday.  Yick.  Maybe then I'll be in a better place.   For now, enjoy the Solstice, may it be merry.

Cya

Not Great...

The temperatures are up & good sleeping weather is gone again.  No rain has fallen.   Ragweed is literally up to 11.   My head is congested & slightly feverish.  I'm tired & achy.  This seasonal flip has me feeling like crap.   This is supposed to be here a bit.  I'll be glad when it's gone.

More tomorrow. no promises past that.

Cya...

Halfway, Almost...

CVS did great this month.  They got me meds with no fuss   That is a thing I don't get to say often enough.  I certainly takes a lot of stress out of my life when they get their job done correctly.    I'm surprised it went so well, considering all the hurricane business.

We're over halfway through September,  There are just 4 days until the Fall Solstice.  Summer temps may have crept back in for a bit, but it's closing up shop for the season.  

The last of the flowers are blooming, including the Yucca.   The yard is yellowed.  It's virtually raining leaves.  

It's been pleasant so far today, hope you do well.

Cya...

Adjacent...

This article isn't directly about HIV, but it's important.  It deals with the fall out of being poor, uninsured, under insured, etc.. in the U.S.   The author is a physician & he details how being poor is all but a death sentence in this article.    This quote will give you a taste.

In my 27 years at these two safety-net hospitals, not one of my patients received an organ or bone marrow transplant. Yet the organs that fed the transplant centers across the region came from the dying patients in these hospitals.  Our patients — the poorest of the poor — gave, but they never received.

The grip of HIV is most strongly felt among the poor & those areas most entrenched in poverty.  Poverty is prime factor in the spread of HIV, drug use & other socio-medical issues this country faces today.   Being poor isn't just a stigma, it's a nail in your coffin.

Cya...

Warmed Up Again...

The weather has done a u-turn on us.  It was being pleasant Fall weather.  Thanks to the shift, we're back into late Summer mode.  I was really getting into the cooler nights.   It might be an issue for sleeping until this has moved out again.  

Not much else is going on, so this is it for now.

Cya...

Friday Post Appointments...

Yesterday's doctor & dentist appointments went well.  Nothing unexpected or problematic.  The day was a little tiring.  It didn't help that when we got home to the yard was being mowed.  

I slept alright. but my allergies were hellish this morning.  We had errands & shopping to handle. Between yesterday's stuff, today's running around & allergies, I'm spent.

More tomorrow.

Cya...

Appointments...

I've already been to my morning doctor's appointment.   It went well, no hiccups.  1 down, 1 to go.  I have a dental cleaning later in the day.  I don't have a lot of time this morning, so this will be it for now.  

Take care, more tomorrow.

Cya...

Nuisance Morning...

My neighborhood has been invaded by giant riding lawn mowers, turbo-gas powered weed eaters & colossal sized leaf blowers.   For hours, the area yards were under assault by loud buffoons that arrived in huge, ugly trucks, pulling even larger & atrocious flatbed trailers full of instruments of lawn warfare.  

The grass, leaves & weeds lost the war.  My sinuses were also a victim of this skirmish.  My ears fared no better as a casualty of someone else's battle.  I hate these lawn people,  I hate their noise.  I hate the dust, debris & allergens they shoot into the air.  

I'll be glad when mowing season is over.  I hate it.  I really true despise the act of mowing.

Cya...

Utter BS In California...

I'm hating on liberals, democrats & progressives in California.  This article is a continuation of the ongoing pursuit by the state to reduce the offense of knowingly exposing someone to HIV from a felony to a misdemeanor.   It's just waiting on the governor's decision.

Besides making me agree with conservatives & republicans, this is just such utter crap on every level.  There is no justification for having sex with someone without revealing your status.  End of question.  Just done.  

These people may not die if they contract HIV, but their lives will be forever altered by 1 selfish bastard who couldn't be bothered to reveal their status.   This state will more than likely see an uptick in HIV cases.   The health of the society should be considered with more weight than the feelings of an individual.

I might not kill you if you had knowingly infected me.  But, I'd certainly make sure you were maimed.   Maybe if you couldn't walk, you'd be less likely to infect others.   I'd do my very best to make your life not worth living.

Cya...

Falling Autumn...

According to meteorology, Autumn starts on my Birthday, September 1st.   I'm a seasonal cusp baby, yay me.  But classically the equinox marks the beginning of Fall, which is September 22.

In 11 days, both calendars will agree Autumn has arrived.  Weather wise I think's it been here a bit.  Plants are yellowing & leaves are falling.  The overnight temps have been great for sleeping.

My body is adjusting to the cooler nights.  It's takes me a bit to adapt.  But, I slept pretty well last night.  

Call it whatever, the season has changed.

Cya...

Bad Mornings & Worse Neighbors...

I live in a neighborhood of many fears;  sedatephobia, agrostophobia, phyllophobia, viriditaphobia, botanophobia, etc...  My neighbors fear silence, grass, leaves, weeds or maybe it's just plants in general.  

Or perhaps they're full of loves; rasemaphilia, fumiphilia, pyrophilia, phonophilia, etc...  They love their lawn mowers, smoking piles of burning leaves/brush, fire & making noise.

Whatever the reason, I'm developing a real hate for my neighbors.  Every day they make noise, they burn brush, they mow their lawns multiple times a week.  They can't live without noise, smoke &  powered lawn equipment.  

This neighborhood was better when it had taller grass & less people.  They're working my nerves with all their morning yard ruckus.  That's not mentioning what the constant mowing, trimming & burning is doing to my breathing.  I hate these neighbors.

Cya...

Do Tell...

For years there's been a debate over whether or not HIV+ people, especially at undetectable levels, should have to disclose their HIV status to sex partners..  Some say forcing + people to do so is violating their freedom of speech & the requirement is damaging to the + person's sense of self.  

SCREW THAT!!!

If you are +, then you should tell any one you may have sex with.  It should be their choice whether or not to move forward, not yours.  To hell with your fear of rejection.  It won't compare to their anxiety as they wait to see if they contracted HIV from some one they thought they could trust.  

Having sex without full disclosure is a violation.  HIV + people who knowingly have sex without revealing their status are aggressors in sexual violation & biological assault.  No wiggle room.

Grow up, disclose or just don't have sex.  Don't give me the undetectable = untransmittable crap.  Even if it holds true, it'll be of little comfort to your victim.

Cya...

Tired Friday...

Went shopping this morning.  I was doing fine earlier, but now I'm feeling the change in the weather.  I'm a bit tired from running errands.  I'm still adjusting to the cooler weather.  It's letting my body relax more & now I'm seeing how tired I really had been lately.   I'll catch up eventually, but for now, my body's in catch-up mode.  

I'll write more tomorrow.

Cya....

Loud...

By Summer's end, I'm fed up with the whirl & hum of all the fans.   As loud as they are, they're masking a lot of other, more erratic noise.   Like the refrigerators, especially the ice-maker.   Then there's all the weird, old house noises,  That fails to mention cat noise.   That's less now with just 1 indoor cat.  That doesn't to take into account the outdoor cats & other animals, squawking birds, chirping insects & vermin running across the porch.   

Then there are the other 2 main sources of noise in my neighborhood.  TRAINS!!!  They suck during the day, but they're so much worse at night.   With no fans buffering them, they sound like they're in my room.

The last contributor is the worse, neighbors.  I've decided I mostly hate my neighbors.  They can't not make noise.  They live for it, they relish it, it's their fricking joy.  There hasn't been a quiet morning here in months.  Some idiot(s) is out making racket every single morning.  Several of these noise-junkies mow at least twice a week.  They week-eat & leaf blow more than that.   It's some screwed up form of competition for them.  I can make more noise than you.

The area was weird when the houses were empty, but at least it was quiet.  I hate my neighbors,  I hate their yard equipment.  I hope it comes to life & attacks them.

Cya...

Chilly Night...

Last night was our 1st chilly night this season.  It dipped down into the 50's.  It still hadn't reached 60 by the time I got up.   The plants are showing the drop.  There are a lot of buds on the Rose of Sharon bushes that won't bloom now.  It's too chilly & there isn't enough light left in the day.  

I didn't see any hummers this morning, they may be on their way south.   Leaves are falling & blooms are failing.  Fall is here, no matter what the calendar says.

Soon, my hummers, dragons & lightning bugs will be gone.  I'll miss them.   I wished I lived somewhere they stayed all year.   Too bad, that'd probably be a hot, humid place.  So on your way little one's, until next year.  I will miss you dancing through the air.

Cya...

Another Bill Day...

Finally got to pay monthly bills.  The holiday Monday threw everything off.  Most things got handled this morning, some will be dealt with tomorrow.   

I wish there weren't holidays near the beginning or end of a month.  They just cause more aggravation at the start of the month.   There's enough going on during that time without adding the mess of a holiday.

That's all for today.  Next week, I have an appointment with my primary care & my dentist.  Hopefully, there won't be surprises.

Cya...

No Wash For You...

Not much going on here today besides shopping.  Normally, we'd be handling bills, but Labor Day has bumped those plans to tomorrow.  Thanks Labor Day.

We were going to wash the car.  It's a mess.  The trees are dumping all over everything.  I'm not sure if it's just sap or honeydew as well.  Either way, it's a mess. Unfortunately, everyone else was already washing their cars.  I'll guess we'll handle it tomorrow.

Cya...

Fallish Stuff...

It's going to be warm for the next couple of days & then the temps are supposed to drop fairly significantly.   The trees are already turning colors here. I've started some of the Autumn yard work.  It'll take a while.  I'm not rushing.  A lot of the bushes are still flowering & we have a lot of bees, bugs & hummingbirds using them for food & shelter.  

I'll deal with the shrubs hen the flowers drop.  There wasn't a lot of rain this year, so the bushes didn't grow a lot.  Clean up won't be as intense as it has been in the past.  Next year, I think I'll try to make trimming a Summer long thing, so there's less to do in the Fall.

The warmer temps, allergens & plant debris are hard on my eyes & breathing.  I can't do much at a time.  So, I'll chip away at it as I can.  It's what I can do.

More later.

Cya...

Holiday Weekend...

Here in the U.S., it's Labor Day weekend.  Not much of a holiday for celebrating as far as I'm concerned.   Actually, a lot of my life I was at odds with this holiday.  It constantly overshadowed my birthday & made doing anything for ti impossible.

Not much going on here this weekend.  My birthday cane  & went.  It went better than most of them do for me.  

I hope the weekend goes well for everyone.

Cya...

Hello September, Hello Me...

It's September & my birthdays is here.  I hope this month goes well & my new year as well.  We're heading out later to go eat.  Not much else going on today.

I'd get a cake with candles, but it'd probably look like this:

I don't have the lung capacity to blow that out & I don't want to burn the house down.

Cya...