Trying...

The hummingbirds & dragonflies are back.  We even have some clumsy cicada.  Most people call them locust around here.  They're beautiful & diverting.   I've been really trying to focus on that.  They usually make me smile, but it's been harder this year.   I'm trying to be happier.  I'm trying not to focus on all the negatives in my life.  I'm trying not to panic about things, like the electric bill screw-up.  I'm trying, but I don't think I'm doing very well at it. 

The hummers & dragons just aren't catching my eye like they used to do.  My mood is about as awkward as the annoying mockingbird's squawk.  The little brown cat outdoors, Hazel, showed up today & it was sweet.  Still, I'm just trying.

Maybe this will be better when it cools down again.   Possibly if the electric bill thing works out I'll calm down a little.  I'm really tired of living crisis to crisis.  Only having tiny gains & shallow successes.   Knowing the next thing is just waiting to bring chaos I'm ill-suited to handle.  I know it's not, but every little thing, seems like a personal jab.  

I'm trying, but I'm tired.

Cya...