For the last couple of days, there've been articles about a man named Tom Knight who is HIV + & using Grindr. OK, let's be honest, Grinder is a hook-up app, He was looking for sex or least a potential sex partner. According to Tom, part of the conservation went something like this:
OK, as a + person, I get why he was open, I don't get why he was upset about the other man being equally open. The guy simply said he couldn't deal with HIV. His prerogative. At least he didn't act like he could & then ditch Tom.
In the article & in Tom's posts, people go on to say how witty he was & support Tom. In some of the articles, he goes on to talk about how it's hurtful to be rejected. He tells how his viral load is undetectable. How is someone on Grindr supposed to know about your viral load? Why should someone take your word for it?
The comments on the articles weren't nearly as pro-Tom. They were more apt to see this for what it was. This was an interaction revolving around Grindr. These men were looking to hook-up, not deal with each others' baggage. IMO, Tom should be glad this guy was just as honest as he had been.
I get being rejected hurts, but that's life. If this other man can't deal with the idea of a + partner via a chat message, how well do you think he would've done in real life? Why not just deal with the fact, a lot of HIV- aren't going to be able to deal with someone + as a sex partner? Why not date HIV+ people?
Tom wasn't witty. Tom isn't some kind of Grinder hero. Tom is an HIV + man who got his feelings hurt after being rejected. Like a lot of us, he's trying to save face at the expense of someone else. The other man's unwillingness isn't the problem here. The problem was Tom's princess-tude that everything should go his way or else.
Cya....
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