Another One Gone...

No matter where I've lived, I've always attracted stray cats.    I can usually get them to trust me.  That hasn't been the case recently.  We've got the feral LBC (Little Black Cat), we call Hex, living on the porch.  I've talked about the LBC before.  There's been no change on that front.  I get watched through the windows, but that's as much interaction as Hex wants.

Without being able to handle them, there's a limit to what I can do for them.  I can't really deal with any medical issues unless they're so debilitated they can't move.    Then it's usually too late.  We have a couple of other cats frequenting the place.  They aren't here as often as Hex.

Until yesterday we had what we were calling Psycho-Cat or Angry Orange Cat.  He was fairly aggressive.  I only touched him once.   He didn't see me & his kitty self nearly had heart failure when I touched his back.   He'd watch me from a few feet away & that was the relationship I had with him.

That ended yesterday.  I'm not sure what happened.  I can only assume he got hit by a car.  Whatever it was, it didn't do a lot external damage.  I had to call the city to have his body removed.  If I could've handled him, I might have been able to help him more, but maybe not.

Being a stray sucks.  People think that only applies to animals, but  plenty of people are strays as well.  Most never really choose to be strays.  If they did, wherever they were, must have been pretty horrible, to make the life of a stray look preferable. 

If you can, do me a favor, be kind to strays.  No matter what the type.  A little kindness can go a long way.

Cya...

PS.  May your next life be better Orange Cat & may you get a better name.

Busy, Tired & Achy...

We went shopping earlier & everyone must have decided it was shopping day.  The place was packed.    My allergies are killing me & the shopping wore me out. Add to that, we had to stop & make copies for renewal for our assistance benefits.  Those had to be dropped off before we got anything else done.  The sooner you get them in, the sooner you get a reply.

My roomie had an appointment after shopping.  We were running late, so we decided to pic something up.  That wasn't a good idea.  The high school let out & everything we were near was filled with students on lunch.   Lucky us.

My net is being a pain.  I'm not sure why its so sluggish, but I've got some ideas.   I've got to go handle that & get some laundry started. I'll blog more tomorrow.  Hopefully, I'll feel better.

Cya....

More HIV...

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about a rise of HIV cases in Indiana.  Then there are those discussing how over 50% of the new HIV cases diagnosed in Atlanta are already in the AIDS stage.  There is a almost constant litany of astonishing HIV transmission rates in the articles.  

What's going on?  Are people being riskier?  Have they just stopped caring about getting HIV?  Or perhaps those are both the wrong questions.  

All this points to is simple.   People aren't getting tested.  At least not as often or as soon as they should.   

Even with all this talk about HIV meds & PreP, the most basic thing is still not being pushed hard enough.  Without testing, there is no way of knowing someone's status.    Even if they try for "safer" sex, its still risky.  Especially without all the information available.

Get tested.

Cya...

Skin & Scalp Issues...

I found this post on a Facebook page I'd not been following until now.   Its called,  HIV Awareness: Healthline.   I've talked about this before,  1 of the issues I face with HIV is seborrheic dermatitis.  It can cause rashes & skin irritation due to an over production of sebum.   It can lead to dry spots, peeling, waxy dandruff & even alopecia. 

This is no fun.  1st your already + & then to add insult you get bad skin & hair.  Or you lose most your hair & are left with a splotchy, itchy scalp.

This is a result of HIV & the medications used to fight it.   There are things to help, but that's about it.   There is no fix, only temporary measures.  Wonderful.

Cya... 

Tired...

Ran some errands today.  Here & in Fort Smith.  We just got back & I'm worn out.  The errands were successful, but I'm tired. So, this is it for now.   Some days, a little is all I have to give.

Cya...

Post Rain Day...

We had a bit of a storm here last night.  Not nearly as much as other places in the state.  I had to go chase down a trash can lid, but that was about the extent of it.  It chilled things back down.  The windows are closed again for now, but soon they'll be open again. 

The abruptness of the change has been a bit hard on me today.  My hands are not happy & neither are my sinuses.  You'd think the rain would've made things better, but it didn't.

Trash is gone & we're thinking about going out tomorrow.  I need to finish some errands that got derailed earlier in the week.  Hopefully, I can.

Be safe & comfortable.

Cya...

Open'em Up...

Yesterday we hit the 80's F.  It was nice.  It was also the 1st day we got to open the windows & air out the house.   I hate having the house closed up, but when its cold there's little choice.

Its another nice day.  It may storm later, but for now its very pleasant.  We took out the trash & it was the 1st time, it was chilly when we did it.  

Spring is here & soon the lawn will have to be mowed.  I wish it could just stay a thick carpet of clover, but it won't.  Soon, it'll look like a pasture if we don't cut it down.  Tall grass means more bugs, which brings more vermin, which is followed by snakes & other predators.  I have enough problems with the skunks & opossums wandering through at night already.  I'm not going to encourage them.

I hope the season s shaping up well for you.

Cya...

OT & Errands...

I have some more errands. This is off topic but applicable.  While growing up, we get used to things & develop preferences.  Sometimes those change as you age, sometimes they don't.

I'm not quite as sold on the childhood theory that more ketchup & cheese can make anything better as I was when I was a kid.  I still like cheese & ketchup, but they're no longer my food saviors.   I used to love the idea of supreme pizzas, the everything potato chips or the works burgers.    Now, I usually prefer simpler, more straight forward fare.

However, I still prefer boxed macaroni & canned biscuits.  I'm sure there are  others but those are the 2 of mine that get challenged most often.  I don't like homemade mac & cheese or biscuits.  Which BTW, taste eerily similar.   Someone just slapped gloppy cheese on the elbow macaroni.  

I know a lot of people who prefer the homemade versions,   That's just freaking, awesome for them.  They can eat all of that stuff they want, just leave my canned biscuits & blue box of mac alone.   But, they don't.  They feel they're right & they have to push their opinions on us uneducated, uncultured slobs who prefer Kraft Mac & Cheese.

This is a stupid clash over taste & isn't worth your time.  I can be rather cattish sometimes.  Leave me alone & I'll leave your face on your head.   Sometimes other people seem to feel they have the right to tell you how to live, what to eat, who to date... Unless, its hurting you or someone else, just do it & to hell with the naysayers.  

These things aren't worth fighting over. If these people will be rude to you over something so small as mac & cheese, what are they going to be like over the big stuff?  Totally unbearable. 

This is my life.  I like the blue box of mac & Grands biscuits.  I am chronically ill & didn't ask for your opinion on the virtues of the  homemade  versions.  I have limited energy & I'm seriously low F'cks to give.  I simply refuse to spend either on someone who thinks they're better than me & their food snobbery.  The same goes for the rest of my life as well.    If you want me to listen to your opinions on my life, then start paying my bills.  If not, shut up.

Cya...

Warmer Outside...

Went shopping this morning.  I mistakenly wore my jacket.  Its still a bit chilly in the house.  Outdoors is reaching 70 already.  I opened the doors to let the warm air in, yes I said warm.

The allergies are still high here.  It doesn't help that people are starting to mow.  They're also seriously whacking the tar out of some local trees.  This is not helping my sinuses any.

We'll have to call the mow guy soon & seen when he can get to us.  I'm trying to put that off as long as possible.  Its mostly just clover in the lawn right now, so nothing thick.

Coming up this weekend, we'll have to start reprocessing our state assistance.  I hate this process.  They know very well how much many we make.   Still the process must be repeated annually.  It can be nerve wracking. 

Have a good day.

Cya...

2 Days Into Spring...

I didn't do a post for the beginning of Spring.  I've been irritated with the whole thing.  So far,  all the season has brought is dreary skies & chilly air.    Springtime has brought allergens galore, but precious little sunshine.  Still, Happy Spring,  hee hee.

I read this article today.   Its British  & deals with 6 different people living with HIV.  It tells  of their lives & some of the impact the virus has had on them.  It was an interesting read.  

Have a good day & hopefully Spring brings you good tidings.

Cya...

Plan-ish or Pipe-ish...

Its not a good morning.  It hasn't been in a long time.  I'm not really seeing a change in that any time soon.  A lot of times, changes come when you make them.  I'm not sure how to do that anymore.

I'm stuck in a state of despising where I'm at.  I can't stand this town or this house.  My roomie tells me all the upsides to this house.   I really don't care.  I know I could be a lot worse off, I do.   But, I'm the person trying to deal with the shittiness of this place everyday when I'm just trying to cook or clean.  The only way to fix this hole is with a bulldozer.

My roomie is trying to alter her perspective on things in her life.  Good for her, maybe it'll even work. But she doesn't interact with things here as much as I do.  I'm tired of this mess.  I'm tired of going to bed frustrated & waking up to it all over again.  

I'm tired of fighting with this place.  I'm tired of dealing with the older cats' issues.  I hate being in a place where I only know 1 person to any serious degree of depth or comfort.  I've tried in this town, it hasn't worked in this many years, it probably never will.

This house was supposed to be temporary.  We moved in 2009, we were only supposed to be here 5 years.  I doubt she even remembers telling me that.  She has a tendency to tell me things like that, then letting them slip her mind.   Last year was 5 years, but that was a really bad year.  This is year 6 & there's no real sign of ever getting out of here.

I let myself believe there was a plan, because having a plan makes it easier for me.    Its time for me to face the face the facts.  There wasn't a plan, there was only a pipe dream.  It seems even that is changing for my roomie.

Something new came into the picture & now her perspective on the situation is altered.  Not in a way benefiting my interests.  Its time to face up to things. I'm most likely never getting out of this hell hole town. Even if I do, it'll probably be a downward move into something worse.

Its times like these that makes it really difficult to justify continuing to take my meds.  I mostly hate my current life.  I'm not sure how to change it anymore. With any luck, I won't live to be that old.

I realize, this sounds like depression.  Maybe it is, but its also reality.  I've nearly posted this type of an entry a dozen times before.   I've talked myself out of it.  But this is part of being +.  You get stranded in situations, you might not be able to get out of, sort of like getting stuck in tar.

This is it.  I have no plans. I don't even have pipe dreams anymore.  This is the place I will most likely die.   Its on days like these, I really wish I'd never gotten tested.  That I'd just let things go their course.  It would've been easier, than pretending I'm holding it together & I've got a plan,  Instead, I'm here living like a reject, Armistead Maupin character stuck on the Island of Misfit Toys.

This just sucks & there seems to be little positive I can do about it.  I'm not even sure if I want to. Sorry for the downer trip.

Cya...

Errands...

We've got a bit to do this morning.  Plans haven't been finalized, but I think we're going to Fort Smith.  A friend wants some help buying a new computer.  I guess we'll know when we get back from shopping.  I'll post more tomorrow.

Cya...

Chilly, Springish Morning...

Outside, I see flowers & trees blooming.  This is pretty but my allergies are hating it.  It was chillier than I expected this morning.  We've been a bit warmer than normal for a while here.  This morning was actually seasonal, but it's been misting over night.  The saturated air is leaving feeling a lot colder than it actually is.  

I'm trying not to resort to putting my jacket back on & covering up with socks.  The long sleeved shirt & house shoes are annoying enough.  I'm ready for no socks & short sleeves.  At least in doors.

There wasn't much posted in the articles today.  What I saw was either old or repetitive.  Maybe there'll be more tomorrow.

Cya...

Overslept...

For the last few nights there has been a cacophony of hellish sounds produced by warring, outdoor cats.  I'm normally pretty supportive of the outdoor cats.  Right now, they can all jump in a lake.  They've kept me awake for days.  This combined with the weather, time change, light change & allergies left me feeling like hell all day yesterday.

I woke up late.  The cats didn't make a peep all night & I slept in.   Too bad I had stuff to do.  I'm just now starting to catch up with it all.  I'm still dragging, but I'm getting better.  For now, all the outdoor cats can take an indefinite vacation.  

Hope you're all doing better.

Cya...

St Patrick's Day...

Today is the Emerald Day for many.  The day you might get pinched if you don't wear green.  Its also a good day to talk about perceptions.  

For many, probably most, this a holiday about green beer, corned beef & leprechauns.   For the more devoted, its about St Patrick casting out the snakes of Ireland.  For pagans, it just might be something  altogether different.

The snake wrangling legend isn't what it seems.  The problem is, no such reptile ever resided on the island.   The snakes in question, were a derogatory reference to followers of the beliefs present in Ireland before that Catholic came a calling. 

So, is this a light day of tomfoolery & feasting?    Is it a day of religious significance?  Or, is it a day indigenous people were driven out & persecuted?  

Historically, there were no snakes.  We know the Catholic missionary went to Ireland.  We know the church had little tolerance for anything not Catholic.  So, all 3 viewings of the holiday are correct.  There just weren't any reptiles moved out of Ireland.  Stories are almost always more complex than they seem.

Cya...

Monday Morning...

Its a rather typical Monday for us. We went shopping.  Its really starting to warm up here.  Too bad the pollen is busting out as well.   The dogwoods & daffodils are blooming.  Most the trees are budding.  Its the season of itchy eyes.  

Shopping went well this morning.   I'm starting to feel better.  Probably would be if not for a nightlong event of cat fighting outside my windows last night.  

There's not much going on for us.  I'll let this be for now.  Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Slow Sunday...

Another Sunday without much going on.   That's alright.  I'm still trying to get passed this mess with the weather & my allergies.  The last few days haven't been fun in the morning.  The time change has darkened my morning & the early rain has left them gloomy.  

Not surprising there aren't many good articles over the weekend.  There usually aren't to many posted.  So, it's just another Sunday & not much going on with us.

Have a good day.

Cya...

Rain...

It really rained quite a bit yesterday.  Everything's still soaked & the air is wet.  I spent most of yesterday chilled.  I'm really tired of the weather trying to give me a cold.  I think its almost worked.  I've had a lot sinus drainage & sniffling all morning.   I'm not feeling the greatest, so I'll keep this short. 

I hope every is doing well.

Cya...

Rainy Day & Crappy Articles...

Its been misting & raining pretty much non-stop since yesterday afternoon.   For now, its lowered the pollen levels.  As soon as it stops, they'll soar again.  

I'm looking out my window at a yard carpeted in purple & blue flowers.  The daffodils are blooming.  The various bulb flowers are sticking their little, green leaves up in the air.  The season has sprung.

I'm trying to focus on the yellow & white flowering bushes outside & instead of a stupid article I read.   Technically, the piece wasn't stupid, just the man it was about.  This man in India thought he was +.  His response was to gather his family into a car & drive.  When they stopped, he set them & the car on fire.  Somehow, his attempt to end his own life failed.

Turns out, he's not +.   Tell me there's no longer HIV stigma in the world.  Either, this man actually believed this was the better course for a family who's patriarch had contracted the virus.  Or, he  was simply a monster who wanted rid of his family.    

Regardless, they're dead & he lives.  When it comes to HIV, there are still massive levels of stupidity & stigma.   We're no where near ending this battle.  Even if it was cured today, people would still be stigmatized as someone who had been infected.  Don't believe me, check out the Ebola survivors in Africa who've been isolated & even cast out of their areas.  Why, because fear, stupidity & stigma. 

Sometimes people seriously just suck!

Cya...

Ugggh, Pollen....

We went shopping this morning & it wasn't fun.   I'm still not adjusted to the time change.  I'm waking up to dark mornings, well sort of waking.   

We hit 2 stores & then came home.  I didn't feel great after the 1st stop.  I thought I was just tired.

Later my head started pounding.  The weird, warm weather (tongue twister alert) has left me dried out & the trees in bloom.  Oh joy.

This was the 1st high allergy day of the season for pollen from trees.  Tomorrow, should be lower due to rain.  However, this weekend looks like the pollen dial will go to 11.  Lucky me.  I feel rather hellish right now.  

Allergies suck.

Cya...

Another Wednesday, More Trash Out...

Its trash day again.  It could get up to 70 F here today.  Considering how much snow we had last week, its a little jarring.  Hopefully, there won't be a cool down trend as notable.  

The yard is covered in purple clover flowers & the tiny little blue flowers I like.  I don't know why, but I like them.  They're so tiny, but seem so defiant.  No snow is going to bring me down.

Spring isn't officially here until later in the month.  But, today's weather is saying otherwise.   We're headed for the season of mowing & fleas.  At least the heaters will be off for a while.  It'd be nice not to need the AC for quite while as well.

Wrap it up Winter, your time is nearly over.  Spring is almost here.  The flowers are blooming.  The birds are having chicks.    Other places may have got hit by a strong Winter, but we only had a 2 or 3 really cold, nasty snaps.  Even those weren't that bad.

Cya...

Not Sure...

I'm not what's messing up, my internet or Google.  Everything Google & Blogger is acting weird.  I don't want to get into something & have this crap out on me.  Suddenlink's been giving me issues for days.  Last night even their cable acted up.  I'll post more tomorrow.

Cya...

The Single Approach Problem...

Many people approach the challenges in an either-or fashion or that a single prong approach is best.    I doubt this has ever been the case.  Still, the thoughts lingers.

Keeping with an either-or approach leaves us with Democrats vs Republicans, Edison vs Tesla, Conservatives vs Liberals.   None of those have ever really accomplished all that was needed,  However, some people abhor moving towards the middle where the solution probably lies.

The single approach philosophy has also failed.  Like the idea, we need a single power option to replace oil.  Its like thinking, we need a single approach to cure HIV.   Neither statement is true.  At least not at this time.  

Researchers are studying & implementing a host of sustainable power generating options.  The same is true for scientist searching for a cure for HIV.  This article discusses 5 methods beyond testing & standard pharmaceutical regimens to deal with HIV.  

Some researchers no longer believe HIV can be defeated with a single approach.  The virus is too adaptive & well hidden.  The article talks about approaches that all have seemed promising on their own, but will probably fail without assistance from other techniques or applications.

The spread of HIV (or really any serious issue in this world) didn't happen in a bubble due to a single causal factor.  Why would it possibly be handled that way?  It won't.  Its time we realize that every facet of this fight must be given it's worth & respect.  That's from the very basics of spreading information & supplying condoms to medical regimens & insuring food supplies to applications of current cutting edge technology.  

Fighting HIV is a war.  A battle that can't be won with an approach similar to an ax wielding barbarian.  All the troops, weapons & strategies must implemented to win this once and for all.  There really is no other option.

Cya...

It Begins...

This was not a good morning.  I woke up to a much darker house thanks to Daylight Saving Time.  Last night we "Sprung" forward & lost an hour I won't regain until the Fall.   I hate this bait & switch trick the government plays with the clock.  It solves nothing.

I'll get used to it.  Until then its dark morning yuck.  I still can't believe that anyone ever thought that this was really a good idea.  I've lost an hour & I'm not really into this right now, so I'll post more tomorrow.

Cya...

Blipping Net...

This will be very brief.  My internet has been acting up the last couple of days & its already dropped twice today.  I've called & they just can't understand why this keeps happening.  Are you sure you're connected?  Are you sure your equipment is working?   Yes, Suddenlink blame anything besides yourself & your faulty cable lines.  

Hopefully, this will be over soon.  

Cya...

PS:  Suddenlink Ashely or whoever else, I don't care to talk to Suddenlink any more about this matter.   I've talked enough & nothing ever gets fixed.

Frustrating....

I'm a little irritated with articles right now.  Everywhere I looked today, there were article titles referring to flushing out hidden HIV.  That would greatly aid in curing the illness.  However, none of those articles were complete.  Some were abstracts, a couple were just links.  Those links led to an online science journal, of which you had to be a member to see the article.  

Thanks a lot for getting me excited about something new, then bombing it.  If no one besides paid members were getting to read this, then why was it plastered everywhere?   Irritating.

So, there is some new info on a new approach or drug to flush HIV out of its hidden reservoirs.  However, I haven't seen it.  Maybe someone will link to it soon.  Then we can talk more about it.  Again frustrated.

Cya...

Next Up To Bat...

This article is about a new attempt to implement research trying to cure HIV.   This is Sangamo  Bioscience's baby.  Its using stem cells developed from people naturally more resistant to HIV in hopes of editing infected people's immunity to better deal with HIV.   

The article is a little dense, so give a read for more info.    I've talked about gene editing before.  Its still in the early stages. Whether or not this will pan out it still up in the air.  If it does work, it could mean a new line of treatment for HIV & possibly other illnesses. 

Time will tell.

Cya....

Not Good Today...

I feel like hell today & its my own doing.  I left the heaters on too high last night.  I woke up to  overly warm & dried out air.  My head feels like crap & I extremely dehydrated.  I've been downing a lot of liquids, but it hasn't helped yet.   My eyes are scratchy & my eyesight is fuzzy.  I hate having to use heaters.

Cya...

Primates...

There are quite a few recent articles relating the origin of some types of HIV to gorillas.  In the past, researchers have tied the virus to monkeys & chimps.  Now, they feel they've covered the known strains of HIV.  

Does this matter?  Yes & no.  It matters to those who want to study the origin of disease.  It may prove important in finding a means to fight or cure the virus.

More importantly, it again proves the presence of zoonotic illnesses.  Those that can pass from animals to people.   These ailments can be of particular danger to us.    These can range from viruses, bacteria to parasites.  Take Lyme disease or rabies for example.

Its sort of poetic.  Man has been invading these animals' habitats for centuries,  They've been killing them off for food, sport & trophies.  Now these animals are giving their killers a bonus prize, HIV.  Can't say we didn't have it coming.

There's a ton of material on this matter if your interested, just Google it.

Cya....

Candy Cigarettes...

When I was little these things were every where, right along side bubblegum cigars.   They had a distinctive scent of a confection sugar stick doused with peppermint.  It was fairly strong & today I got a scent reminder.

My hands have been in bad shape all Winter long.  Nothing has worked.  I've gone through  a ton of lotion & accomplished nothing.  My roomie's Sister-In-Law told of her of some stuff she used.   It sounded familiar,  I had seen it as a kid.

It's called Bag Balm & was originally meant for use on cows' udders to soften them & keep them from cracking.  Some people list a ton of things they use it for.  I just hope it handles my hands.  It smells just like candy cigarettes.  

Cya...

A Little Warmer...

It's lightly raining outside today.  It was slightly frozen this morning.  It made a thin, crunchy layer of ice over things.  I tapped a layer of ice on the van's windshield & the whole sheet shattered & fell to the ground.    It probably would've melted some & froze solid tonight if I hadn't.

A little warmer isn't enough to call it warm though.  My hands still hate this.  Its being difficult to blog.  I've had to retype numerous words.  

Even with all this, I still see green grass poking through.  I hate you grass, I really do.   I mean, die off already & take the bugs with you.

Stay well & warm.

Cya...