Rain & Waiting...

It started raining again yesterday & it's supposed to continue throughout the day.  I am so seriously over grey skies.   Somehow during all this rain the tree pollen levels have soared.  So, add to allergy yuck until the pile of other seasonal crap going on at the moment.

I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor on what tests he may order for me.  He was out of the office when I stopped by & talked to his nurse yesterday.   It may later in the day or even tomorrow before I hear anything.  

I've seen daffodils when I've been out.   The tulips & lilies are pushing their greenery up.   Several of the flowering bushes are budding out & turning green.   I'm seeing little blue flowers, clover & wild onions.  Spring is on it's way.    Here comes more rains, thunderstorms, pollen & the random tornado.  Yippie!

Aren't I just a happy camper this morning?  

Cya...

Follow Up...

My EKG readings were normal.  My doctor talked to me about my concerns, but in the end nothing much was decided.  He suggested a low strength anti-depressant.  I wasn't happy about that.  It means yet another medication.  

Then again, they haven't found any other reason for my feeling like this, so I told him I'd call my specialist & see about it.   I didn't want a new med colliding with my HIV regimen.    They were OK with the idea, but suggested I also have some other blood work done testing my metabolism & hormones, especially looking at testosterone.  I told my primary care provider's nurse this morning.  Will see what happens.

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Appointments On The Last Monday...

OK, it's earlier than I'd like to be up on this last February Monday.   But, I have to be at an doctor's appointment shortly.  As I said yesterday, I have no idea what to expect from this meeting.   Just in case I'm not up to posting later, I'll do it now. 

At least it's a sunny day.  Too bad the rains might return midweek.   I wish I could say I was doing better, but my nerves & sleep are still way off & probably will be for quite some time.  

I have this today, my roomie has something tomorrow & Friday.  That leaves shopping & early bills on Thursday.  That's a lot for us in a week & last week was busy as well.  I'm definitely not used to this much getting about.   It's tiring.

More tomorrow.

Cya..

Fairly Brief...

My schedule is off, shopping has to get handled this morning, because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.   I have no idea how that will go.   A lot of things have run through my mind.  Anything from it's nothing, to something is seriously wrong with me, to my doctor thinks I'm just complaining & gets upset with me.   I hate dealing with my head sometimes.  

At least it's not raining.  It's actually bright.  It's chilly, but supposed to warm up some.  Depending on where you look our rain totals were somewhere between 3.5 - 6.25.  I'm leaning toward the latter.  It could  be a downpour & Weather.com would report were having a dry day.   Weather Underground tends to initially report high & then average out the next day.  I trust their reports more.

It's day 10 out from sending the CDR back in.  I'm very anxious.  I hate waiting for the shoe to drop.  This review is going to drive me nuts

Cya...

Early & Quick...

Not much of a post this morning.  But after several days of rain totalling a little over 5", issues are starting to show.  The power & the net have been flickering.  I'll post this just in case we lose 1 or both.  The rain is supposed to end this afternoon & let this mess move out of the area.  I hope so, this is quite enough rain for the end of February.   

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Final February Friday...

It's rained several inches over the last few days & there's no sign of stopping any time soon.  It's wet, miserable & cold.  It's also grey.  My roomie pointed out as we drove to get groceries everything was the same dismal shade of grey, from the road to the sky. 

I have an appointment with my primary care on Monday to go over the EKG.  I have no idea what to expect.  HIV is tied to pulmonary & cardiac issues.   The ongoing presence of the virus can cause inflammation.   I don't know what, if anything I'm heading into on Monday.

That's all for now.

Cya...

PS - It was a year ago today I announced the passing our cat, Rhiannon.   I really miss her.

Another Appointment...

After my telemedicine appointment, my specialist said I should ask my physician about getting an EKG & possibly a stress test.  I've had shortness of breath, ragged breathing, coughing &  I'm easily winded.   I've also had some chest tightness.  Nothing has been painful, but I made the appointment.   

Of course, it was early this morning.  I've had way more medical attention than I'm used to.    Not sure what to expect here.  

More tomorrow.

Cya...

Ongoing Appointments...

Yesterday's appointments are over.  The morning X-Ray went fine.  I dropped off a letter covering my current state of health to my primary care doctor.  He may or may not move my next appointment with him up a bit.  

The afternoon eye appointment itself was fine for me, less so for my roomie.   She was poked & prodded more than me.   But the drive was horrendous.  It was a heavy downpour over to Fort Smith with slippery roads & hydroplaning.   It was torrential on the way home.  A half drive took over an hour at 40 - 45 mph.  We were glad to be home.  That drive was fairly unnerving.

I have to head out here in a bit for my telemedicine appointment.  This is all for now.   Hopefully, the rain will lighten while I'm out.  It rained somewhere between 2.25 - 2.75 inches yesterday.  They're already saying we've had nearly half an inch since midnight.  There will be flooding.

More later.

Cya..

Appointments...

Not much to post this morning.  I have an appointment  for a chest X-Ray shortly.  Then later, I have to go out for an eye exam.   I'm still not doing that well.  I'm pancky.  It's very overcast, but at least it's raining.  

Until tomorrow.

Cya...

Early Morning Panic...

I'm prone to wake up somewhere just before sunrise & not be able to really get back to sleep.  Sometimes I wake in a panic, sometimes it cranks up.  I'm not sure which is worse.   Trying to be rational, doesn't help.  Maybe I'm actually still too asleep to do that.  It feels like being on a horse that's terrified & bolting.  It's not really trying to hurt you, but you might get hurt in the process.  I just have to ride it out & then I'm exhausted & frazzled.

This worse during the Winter.  It's gotten more notable on Triumeq.  But now with disability review, it's been every morning.  I'm really tired.  Sometimes, I stay so spent, my face actually hurts.

I've got to get around.  We have shopping.  Tomorrow, I have to get an X-Ray for a failed TB test.   I always test positive.  Then we have to go to the optometrist.

I hope you're all doing well.

Cya...

No Promises...

I'm not doing much better this morning & I have no idea when I will be.  If this disability review goes well, I'll calm down some, but not entirely.  If it doesn't, I don't know.  I'm angry & scared.  I don't have options.  

Everyday, I see people on the news actively trying to limit my life.  To hell with them.  I'm done being nice with these people.  I wish every horrible thing on them & their lives.  

I'm not in a good place & I don't when I will be again. I know there are a lot of decent people out there,  But, it becomes more apparent everyday there are more assholes than whitehats.    Even if this resolves itself in my favor.  I won't forget those people who would  cause harm to my life.  

I'm sorry, but I just can't be positive today.

Cya...

Fractious...

There basically isn't a post today.  I'm  super anxious & panicky this morning.  I got notice they're reviewing my disability yesterday.   I've already sent everything back in & my roomie keeps telling me this will turn out fine.  I hope so.  I don't have anything else.  If I lose this, it's all gone.  It'll be game over for me.  I've got nothing left.  I hate my life.  I'm so tired of being in a state of panic.

Cya...

OK, Just No & Smiles...

3 things, 1st, we have a errands & shopping this morning, so this will be short.   Next is this article.  It talks of the risks of DIY faecal transplants.   That's all I'm saying on that topic.  Finally, it got warmer enough to start the trees budding.  I saw clover flowers & the tiny, blue flowers in the yard yesterday.  I hate allergies, but seeing them always make me smile for a bit.

Gotta get.

Cya...

Fake Out Spring Day...

I slept for crap last night.   Overnight temps for the last week been in the upper 20's or low 30's.  Last night it was over 60 F & windy.  It's nearly 70 this morning & the wind is gusting pollen-laden air.   My head is not in a good place & hot tea isn't cutting cutting it.  The crappy thing is, in 2 days it'll be back down to barely hitting 50 as a high for the day.  

My roomie called & we have eye exams next Tuesday.  Then I have a telemedicine appointment on the following day.  That's about it as far I know at the moment.  

Take care.

Cya...

Money, Money, Money...

Trump's certainly not funny.  The cheeto in charge plans to slash several programs I utilize.  He wants to cut funds to medicaid, medicare, social security, disability, HIV spending, SNAP benefits & a host of other social service programs.  Many of which are already funded.  

He wants to do this so he can give tax breaks to rich bastards like himself.   This man is too stupid to be evil, but someone is playing this idiot like a fiddle.    He & all his cronies should be hung for their behavior towards to the common citizen.  

None of this has passed yet, but they'll push & they might succeed.  It certainly lets you know where you stand with people.  Then the cheeto has the nerve to lie & say he supports all the people he's ripping off.   They should cut out his tongue & set that creature on top of his head free.  It deserves to return to the wild.  

Hopefully, some people will be reasonable before these cuts get passed.

Cya...

Labs, Calendars & Flighty People...

My labs are slowly showing up on the hospital portal.  The TB test hasn't come back yet.  I'll probably have to get a chest X-Ray.   The numbers looks good, but I'm still dealing with a lot of exhaustion & fatigue.  It may just be part of dealing with HIV & some meds.   For now, I'm alright with where I'm at.  My telemedicine appointment is next Wednesday the 21st.   It's on the calendar.

Speaking of calendars, they're awesome things.  They can keep track  of all sorts of things in you life, like appointments, anniversaries, events, etc.... But they only work if you actually use them.  You have to keep them updated & actually look at them quite frequently.   If not, a calendar will be of no use to you.   That will be on you, not the calendar.  It's just a handy tool, it can't do the job for you,

The mini-speech on calendars was due to a lot of people's inability to use them well.   My household's schedule is often being thrown into a bit of disarray by some outside person's inability to organize their life.   Let's get this straight, you're inability or refusal to get your life together, doesn't make your issue an emergency for me/us.  Learn the 5 P's, "Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance."  There are variations of that, but they get to the same point.  Get you sh*t together & stop making others clean up your mess.

Cya..

Dip Down & BackUp...

I know I talk about the weather a lot, seriously a lot.  I get it.  But this Winter has been a roller coaster for temps.  The last 2 days have been really cold.  It never got above freezing yesterday & dipped down near the teens overnight.   Today & tomorrow are supposed to be nearly 25 degrees warmer.  Then, of course, we have another dip down.   The ups & downs this season have been really rough on me.    The only good thing, is that maybe it keeps killing off the bugs.  

Have to go get a shower & go shopping.  Take care.

Cya...

Stigma, Fear & Belief...

For as long as people have known about HIV, they've feared it.   That terror led to bad decisions & reactions.  It caused a panic & created stigma around a health issue.  Instead of being treated like a virus, it was likened to a "holy plague" on the immoral & unworthy.  

Articles come out often about some religious zealot or scam artist promoting a religious approach to handling the illness.  From basic prayer to concoctions containing pesticides.  Some of these potions are just "blessed" water, others are bogus, while still some are poisonous.  All of them are highly dangerous, because these church & political efforts lead people away from actual medical treatment.  This will only lead to sickness, death & the further spread of HIV.

Laying on hands, prayer or holy ointments won't cure HIV.  Nothing currently known will.    Be aware, get tested & take your meds.   Education, testing & adherence to regimens are the things that are going to fight HIV.

Cya...

Grey Morning WIth Pops Of Red...

This morning was a drizzlefest of  grey skies & damp air.  I was fortunate enough to see a display of several bursts of scarlet flitting from branches to fence posts to the ground.  A local set of cardinals  must of had a brood with a lot males.  

They're bright red, but not the big, so they're still young.  They're playing king of the mountain & not seriously fighting, maybe they're familiar with each other.  Redbirds can get very territorial. For now, the fussing is comradery.  Right now, they also need the buddy system to find enough food & not wind up food themselves.

I know there are realistic reasons for this stunning display, but I don't want to hear them right now.  I just want to think for a moment these little guys get to be social, maybe even happy.   I know it won't last, but for now, it's really pretty great.  It's like having little, vermilion swashbucklers in my yard, charging & parrying.  

I think I'll just watch the show.

Cya....

Not much Friday...

We don't have much planned today besides grocery shopping.  There weren't any new articles I saw that caught my attention.   It was a nice day yesterday.  It looks like were headed back into another cool down for the next couple of days.  That's about it for now.

Cya...

Biktarvy

According to these articles, 1 & 2, the FDA has granted Gilead the go ahead with a new once daily regimen.  It will be called, Biktarvy.  Sounds like a German version of the  1960's show, Daktari.  It is very similar to the Descovy, which is basically an altered form of Truvada.   It has Bictegravir as an added component.  I couldn't find much on Bictegravir besides this pdf. 

The 1st article is very light, but holds a very important detail about this new med, the cost, which will be over $35,000 annually.  It's expected to quickly become the gold standard for HIV treatment.  Of course, it's a literal gold mine for Gilead.  The 2nd article goes much further details of the matter.

Give them a read.   This is medication has been approved & will be hitting the market soon. 

Cya...

Blood Letting & Icy Plunges...

Not much to post about today, but, here we go.   I had blood drawn yesterday.  It was supposed to be today, but the weatherman called for a semi-serious ice storm yesterday.  Nothing went as planned.   Most of the storm stayed north of us, this area only got some icy air & drizzle.  There's much sign that we had any precipitation at all.

The blood letting was heavier than normal.  I was expecting my typical for test; CMP, CBC, CD4, HIV-Viral Load.   When I got there, the specialist had ordered 10 test.   2 of which weren't handled because I had not been told to fast beforehand.  An additional test was also not handled due to the lab tech not understanding exactly what the doctor wanted.  

Even with 7 tests, they wound up using 9 vials.  The lab tech was great though.  I didn't feel a thing & there's still no sign of bruising.  Usually, the needle is starting to hurt halfway through just on  4 vials & I leave bruised.  I hope I get her again.

My appointment is 2 weeks,   Other than that, health matters are hopefully handled for a bit.   I don't need to get any more illnesses.

Take care..

Cya...

Moody...

I'm not sure what's up with me lately.  It could be the weather, the gloom, my meds or something new.  I've been very moody & it's tiring.  I'm staying fraxious & burned out.   I could be catching something or my thyroid meds could need adjusting.  It could also be, I'm just over these blasted grey skies.   If they're going to be dark, they could at least rain.  

Cya...

Still Not Testing...

I've found a brief article today. From it, I took this quote.

Almost 40% of women and more than 50% of men aged 15 to 44 years had never been tested for HIV between 2011 and 2015, according to a report published by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics.

It's a brief read, but it gets to the point.   A huge number of teens & adults have never been tested for HIV.   In Russian Roulette you start at a 1 in 6 chance of being shot, just over a 16% probability.   Unprotected sex with these people could be up a 1 - 2 chance.  are those the odds you want to play?   Use condoms & get tested.

Cya... 

More Blahs...

We had to get out this morning & run some errands we forget to handle yesterday.   It was an easy outing, but I feel like crap this morning.  I'm already spent.   We have to go out again tomorrow, so I'm not planning on much today.   I'm glad the skies are bright finally.   They've been overcast for days.  The grey will probably be back soon, but for now, it's nice.

Cya...

Another Grey Day...

I know it's Winter, but does it have stay so dismal?   It's very hard for me to handle anything on days like this.  It's just draining.   I'm glad I don't have to handle anything today.   It was supposed to rain yesterday, but all we got was this overcast yuck.  

I've been staring at this for a while now & I just don't have much else to write today.

Cya...

Tele...

Telemedicine has been a real boon for me.  I could get by without it & may have to again at some point.  But, while it's available, it provides a great service to me.  This is part of living in a rural area with a chronic illness, especially a condition loaded with so much preconception & stigma.

This article, goes into Tele-IPT.  IPT is interpersonal psychotherapy.    This is generally conducted in person, but in IPT, it's done via a phone, possibly a video chat.   It has shown to help with rural HIV patients.   Many + people, often those living in rural areas, face depression.  

Both the virus & the locale are isolating.  It can be hard to be social in rural areas under the best of circumstances, let alone dealing with a highly polarizing illness such as HIV.   As much good has come from me having the telemedicine bus, I'm certain Tele-IPT could be a real game changer, even a life saver, for many people.

Give it a read.

Cya...

Hello February...

The 2nd month has begun.  So far, my head is not a fan of it.  We've had a lot of temperature flux & there is no sign of that ending soon.  Going from near 70 to low 20's & then back up several days in a row is hard on a person.   I'm very congested. 

We have to start dealing with bills tomorrow.  It's always nice to get that handled.   It'll be a colder morning.   I'm glad we're not getting really warm  & staying there too early in the season, but I'm still no fan of colder weather.

Hello February.  Let's hope this goes well.

Cya...