This was me yesterday morning. I sent myself into a tailspin & nearly crashed. I was already prone sleep issues & nerves before HIV. Add the stress of the illness & fact many of my my meds can put you on edge, it's amazing I don't stay in frantic mode 24/7.
I let myself start worrying about the future & something I figured out I could do for myself. The van's dash lights went on the fritz & I figured knowing my luck, there goes the electrical. Luck, oh yes Virgos believe in luck, freakin' unpredictable bad luck BS. I found a Q&A on Answers.com that dealt with my exact issue. Still, I let myself freak out on whether or not I could do it. All I had to do was undo the battery cables and reconnect them, but some how I convinced myself in the morning, either it wasn't going to work or I'd damage the van worse than it already was.
About 8AM, I got the nerve to try it. It worked, OM Freakin' G it worked. I didn't make the van explode, the fabric of the universe didn't rip to shreds & toss us all into a pit of chaos. I'm did a cautious, yet happy dance...
One must be careful with Happy Dances or else the Universe may decide you've got it too easy & slap you down. So do it, be thankful & love the moment, but realize it's just one of the day's many hurdles.
The problem here is that I let myself spin out of control, again. I didn't try to the solution right in front of me & no I don't have a good reason why. The biggest problem for me is just getting myself to focus and at least try. If it works, whoo hooo. If not, I tried. I recently had a similar situation occur with a leaky tub. For some reason then I trusted myself enough just to try what the Youtube video showed me on how to fix it. Frazzledom is not about logic.
Frazzledom leads to anxiety, which leads to bad sleep, which leads to bad health. These are things that everyone needs to realize. HIV+ peeps really have to take this into mind. When I'm sleeping well, I do dramatically better than when my zzz's are scattered to the wind. I think that Lunesta moth/butterfly thing is stealing my zzz's & giving them to other people. Creepy moth...
Focus is the goal. To be centered & drive out the crappy thoughts that send us into a downward spiral. We can do this, either on our own or with help, but it can be done. If you're +, you'd better figure out how to get your sleep under control quickly. It is the biggest part of your recovery and staying healthy, physically and emotionally. If not you could end up like...
This was a very good post. You know, as someone who also suffers from sleeping disorders, I completely get the concept of how much bad sleep can totally affect your health.
ReplyDelete