I Hate To Say This...

For as long as I can remember, somebody has always had some reason to dislike or even hate me.  More often then not, those reasons were things completely beyond my control or my ability to influence.  The list was long; actions my parents took, where we lived, how often we moved, perceptions of me based on appearance, etc..

Do you know what?  None of that has changed.  In fact, I've added to the list of why some people will despise me.  How dare I be gay, let alone +. There still remains precious little I can do about any of it.  Truth be told, I probably wouldn't even if I could.  How dare those people judge me?  Like they & their lives are so much better.

Every day I read articles about specific communities as centers of disease, poverty & crime.   There are daily reports of people being specifically targeted by groups, even police, for aspects of their lives they can't change.  How dare they be different?  Sometimes, these reports aren't done to be helpful or informative.  Too often these reports are to point out why these people should be hated & avoided.

For the last several years, U.S. government officials;  federal, state & local, have being trying their damnedest to prove just how hateful & petty  they can be.  It's an unfortunate fact, but still true, they hate you.  They hate you for:

• Not being White
• Not being rich
• Not being their kind of zealot
• Not being perfectly straight
• Not acting as they define your gender
• Not living as they see fit
• Not bowing down to them

There's so much more, but they hate for not accepting what they say & do as some kind of sick gospel.  Why can't you just accept that, 

"Flowers are red young man and green leaves are green.  There's no need to see flowers any other way than they way they always have been seen"  Harry Chapin

That song was talking about education, but what it was really about, was getting people to submit.  To be as they decreed.  

There are a few things you need to remember.  Nothing you do will ever be enough to make them stop hating you.  They don't want you to change.  They're tied between trying to get you to just go away & keeping you so they have to focus for their hate.

Yes, they abhor you.  They detest your actions & your life.  But, there's a perk to this.   At least you know it.  You know you can't change them.  You can't make them like you.  Their hatred isn't about you, it never was.  Their hatred is their & their's alone.  

Maybe knowing that, you can see you're worth more they can offer.  Just perhaps, knowing this, you can make a plan to get through life without wasting time trying to stop their hate.  Maybe knowing this, you can let yourself be & hopefully not focus any of their hate on yourself.

Cya...