The End Of...

 

Today is the last of August 2025 & my last day of being 58.  Neither of which brought me much joy or kindness.   They were both rough on me.  I doubt I'll miss either.

Some people look at birthdays as victories or causes for celebrations.  I don't.  I may still be here, but I don't really see the reason to be happy about it. 

This last year wasn't good for me.  It was decent to some of those around me.   My roomie has some goals & is making some progress on the matters.  I don't have anything like that anymore.  I doubt I will.

My life wasn't easy when I was a teen or early 20 something.  But I still had hope things could work out.  I haven't really had hope since my early 30s.  Still, there were things to look forward to.  Those dwindled in my mid 40s.

I doubt 59 can let me down.  I'm sure it can & will suck.  I'm sure it can be harder.  But, I have no reason to expect anything else.  So at least the year can't let me down.  Maybe it'll be a good year for others & I can be some kind of good fortune tourist.  

Goodbye August, you were really rough.  Goodbye 58.  That went worse than expected.

Cya...

2 Days Remaining...

 

There's less than 48 hours of August or my year.  Come Monday, things roll forward, joy.  I'll just be glad when it's passed.  Things tend to calm down after it's gone.  Too bad the season's dying early again this year.  Summer's may be hotter, but they've also be weirdly dark & wet for this area.  

I hoping for a nothing day.  Things have been tiring this month.  September is looking packed as well.  It's stuff that needs to happen, but still it's going to be busy.  

That's all for now, take care.

Cya... 

Last Friday...

 

This is the last Friday of the month & of my year.  It'll be September & I'll be 59 next week.  Looking back I can see good things happened for those around me.  Or least needed things.  But, 2025 & being 58 was a not good or kind in regards to me.  I pretty sure that will hold for this year as well.  It might actually get worse.  

We have things planned around that time.  I wish it all wasn't such a hassle.  There's a bunch of stuff clumping together.  The car's been a pain.  It'd be nice if we got through this without issues, but I'm not counting on it.

It was another dark morning.  It was so wet, the air was chilly last night.  I've not had the fans on, so everything is waking me up as I get used to the noise again.  The cat didn't help with that any with her demands to be acknowledged from a distance.  I woke with a jolt & that's always horrible for me.  

I need to go do Friday stuff for the last time as a 58 year old.  To hell with 2025, being 58 & everything that made this year suck.  My birthday wish is the orange stain dies soon.

Cya...

The Backside Of August...

 

August is coming to a close soon.  The last week of it & the beginning of September look to be dark & raining.  It was dark this morning & now the downpour is back.  We had 2"+ yesterday.   The mowing will resume & I can see anthills across the yard. Until the rain stops there isn't much I can do about it.

This month has sucked.  The weather was either blazing or dark.  Dry as hell or flooding.  The expensives mounted everyday.  The car was a pain.  There have been very few decent to high points this August.

I'm sick of this, all of it, it's exhausting.  The sound of rain has become an annoyance.  It'd be nice if not everything decided to be some trial or rigged, carnival game.

That's all, take care.

Cya...

Dark, Who Knows & Maybes...

 

It's still & wet.  More rain is expected, great, more grass & bugs.  We may not need the AC any more this month, possibly this year.  

The car is still in the shop.  They haven't figured out the issue.  If they don't, it's a waiting game with the car. That sucks.

I found a suggestion of an article.  It's at best midway to a novel approach.  The piece is about PrEP's efficacy.  The current  versions are effective, but only if the regimen is maintained properly.  There are a lot of reasons that may not happen.  The only long acting PrEP options are injections that must be administered by a medical profession.  That may not be an option.   

This work talks about a new antiretroviral from Merck.  This is still an oral option, but has the advantage of being long acting, monthly dose.  This med is based on a Nucleoside reverse transcriptase translocation inhibitor called Islatravir.  So far, this is in the development & research phase.  Human studies are underway.  A monthly dose PrEP could be a game changer.  It could lead to options for people living with HIV as well.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Countdown Issues...

 

There's only 5 full days until my birthday & things are letting me know it.  There are many reasons I'm not fond of this day, but a major issue is that crap always happens around it.   Not little things, but a lot of serious problems show up.  The car is screwing up again.  It could be the ignition.  That would explain some of the previous issues with it.  But still, it's already been a pain the ass all season long.  Just another pre birthday issue.

Hell, there are several days left, maybe the world will break & that damn day just won't get here.  I'm not that lucky.  There's nothing good about that day.  Besides bringing a crapstorm of issues, it's the opening to the dark of the year.

On top of all this, the weather is still dark & raining.  It's making things even harder.  Every year this gets worse.  The last couple of years were very rough on me.  I'm expecting it to be more so this time around.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Dark August Morning...

 

There could be a lot of rain today.  It's dark & cooler.  That looks to be the trend for a while.  I hope things don't cool down too quickly, but I don't see any 90s in the forecast.  Of course that could change.   

This last bit of me being 58 isn't going to be easy.  It's going to be dark all week & I'm already dreading it.  The worst part of the year is creeping up.  I really don't have to see 59.  It's not like there'll be anything good for me.  It'll only more of the same & worse.  Birthdays should come with the option of "enough" or "I've had my fill, thank you."

My roomie is making some future plans.  They're reasonable ideas.  I hope they work well for her.  I don't have those anymore.  I haven't for a long time.  Each year, it gets harder to see the positive things with all the crap looming.

That's it for this morning, take care.

Cya...

Cautiously Forward...

 

I'm taking yesterday as a win.  Even if all we got was nothing going wrong.  After this Summer, this month so far, nothing going sideways is a major deal for us.  The weather wasn't bad & we just stayed home.  It was needed.  We're still spent & need more days like that, but it was a nice start.

My roomie's redo appointment seems to have gone well.  My labs are back & they look as good as they ever do for me.  Neither of us have any appointments until September.  That leaves shopping & errands for the rest of the month.

Tomorrow starts my last week of being 58.  This hasn't been an easy year, but I don't remember an easy year in the 2000s.  It might've been better if Y2K had been a real thing.  Maybe it would have forced a different world into being.   I don't expect much out of my next year.  It's easier to be less disappointed when you don't really think anything good is coming anyway.

Here's hoping today is another nothing day.  Take care.

Cya...

Need A Nothing...

 

This last week was hard on my household.  It was more of what this Summer had to dish out;  hard, hot & expensive.  The weather wasn't the worst thing this season, it was everything else.   The animal issues & all the breaking.  

We need at least a day of nothing, nothing happening, breaking, costing, etc...  We are both exhausted & beyond frayed.  There needs to be time recuperate or we're going to have some real issues with our well being.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Needs To Stop...

 

Once again the car screwed up.   This time it needed a new battery.  There went almost $300.  Batteries are outrageously priced.   Of course it couldn't just be, you need a new battery.   They needed to test it.  Too bad their testing device was broken & had to be replaced.  That added over an hour.  There went a simple Thursday.

Here's hoping today goes well.  My roomie has an appointment later.  It'd be nice if there was no drama.  Take care.

Cya...

Alright, No More...

 

My roomie & I really do try to plan for things.  Even if those "plans" are only tentative, contingent or just thoughts on strategies for this or that.  We do put in an effort.  Too bad, more often than not, other things, often nonchalant people, trash our plans. 

We had this week laid out.  It was going to be busy as it was.  But yesterday, my roomie found out her appointment had been moved.  Instead handling that today, we'll have to move shopping & she'll go tomorrow.  It's doable, but this was done last minute,  without regard for any fallout on her.  We don't have to be at the top of the list, but I'm really tired of us being an afterthought.

Things like this cause wrinkles in every other plan following.  It shows a certain level of disrespect.  It's hard, aggravating & eventually it takes a toll on your well being.  No one wants to last on the list or just plain forgotten everytime.

That's all for, take care.

Cya...

So Far This Week...

 

We got the car back yesterday.  That was a lot of cash.  For now it seems to be running fine.  I got my labs drawn later in the day than I usually do.  I don't know if that will have any impact or not.   I'm waiting on the results.   That's, what we have done.

Tomorrow, my roomie goes back to her appointment.  They need to correct what they did.  Then there will be shopping on Friday.

This has been a hard week.  The heat didn't help.  It's supposed to cool some this week.  We'll see if that actually happens.  

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Cars & Labs

 

The car should be fixed today.  There's a lot more money spent.  My labs should be here today or tomorrow.  Either way, that will get done.  This has been a busy, hot & costly August.  

Between the orange stain & his fug clown show, there hasn't been a lot of articles.  No one asked for or benefits from their intrusion.   Hopefully, this is just a blip.

That's about it for this morning, take care.

Cya...

Busy Hot Monday...

 

We have a busy morning in front of us.   We have to go shopping, run some errands, pay a bill & then take the car to the mechanic.  This will all be done in the van, which is hot.  Then we have to wait to see what needs to be done to the car & how much that will cost.  I'll need labs drawn mid week.  My roomie will have to see about a redo appointment.  This is going to be a hot, irritating & expensive week.

So much for a nice August.  That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Mid Sunday...

 

This week isn't going to be fun.  We have to take the car in again.  My roomie basically has to have a redo on her appointment.  I also need labs drawn for  my telemedicine appointment in early September.  This week is going to crammed, expensive & hot.

I don't have a lot to add beyond that.   Take care.

Cya...

Rough Friday...

 

Yesterday was hard on us.   We took the van shopping & it's hot.  At 1st it wasn't horrible, but it got there quick.  We got home & got the AC going.  Then it began raining.  It rained hard for a bit & then stopped.  It left a soggy, awful situation.  It was only in the mid 80s, but the humidity was in the 90+ range.  I don't think we ever got comfortable yesterday.

This is what I can muster this morning.  Take care.

Cya...

Worse...

 

I don't want to be here anymore.  I haven't for most of my life.  This thing call living sucks or at least it has for me.  I was trying to deal with all the crap & potential issues in my life & then it just had to happen.  It got worse.  

After my roomie's appointment, the car started acting up again.  Most likely another notable expense dealing with the AC.  We won't be able to get the car into the mechanic until Monday.  So that's several days were dependent on the hot van.  If this was cooler weather that wouldn't be an issue.  But the van's AC is horrible & takes forever to do anything.  By the time it started kicking in, we'd be home.

There will hot days in the van handling things.   Then my roomie needs a re-do, because they didn't get something right during her appointment.  To all those jerks who always say, "It could be worse," I've always known that.  I usually does for me.  I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop.  I hope the worse things come your way in abundance. 

That's the recent episode of the crapfest known as my life, take care.

Cya...

Ugh Day...

 

It didn't get that hot yesterday, but it might have been better if had.  It was 70 - 80% humidity all day.  By night time, it had jumped into the 90s.  It wasn't pleasant.  This isn't helping my sleep.  I felt off all day yesterday.  I'm achy this morning & my roomie has an appointment.  It could be another off day.

That's for now, take care.

Cya... 

Never Ending...

 

Being 58 has been like being at a really bad buffet where they keep loading your plate with things you never wanted.  There's been more of the typical crap like car stuff & house crap.  Then there were trips to the vet for both cats & now we're down to just Millie.  It's been hurry up, wait, spend a lot & stress even more.  Add to that, the crappy people of this country elected that orange bastard.   Him & his ilk are always  a threat.

My SAD hit early last year & I think it will again.  I'm really noticing the changing light.  I've got labs to be drawn & a telemedicine appointment coming up.  Big, new stress could be lurking on the edge.  I won't say much about it, because I'm not sure of anything.  I just know, I don't trust the situation.  I could be wrong, but so little goes our way.  During all of this, my roomie has had several ongoing health matters she's been dealing with.  They seem to be going well, but they take effort & planning.

We haven't really had our normal holiday routine since COVID.  We're trying, but things just aren't cooperating.  58 has been about stress, expense, lose, worry & exhaustion.  Life needs more off ramps.  I need to step away from this plate that things keep piling crap on.  I've had way more than my fill.

Cya...

Trying, But Not...

 

I tried to pull myself together yesterday.  It didn't work.  It doesn't matter what I'm trying, something else has to come along.  There was a weird light & shopping was annoying.  My roomie was having some things go on in the morning.  The weather got weird later on.  It drizzled for a bit, barely enough to register.  There's some old stuff brewing in the background that could be an issue.  I hope not, but it could be.

The light's off this morning.  I slept hard last night & woke up with a jolt for some reason.  I hate that.  I feel like I hit a wall.  The season & my year are ending.  That's never good for me.  I just have this annoying dread that something big's going to break.  I don't want to be here when it happens.  I don't have the strength to do more or fix anything.  I can't even get myself together.  It's always something else.

Cya...

Season Issues...

 

Yesterday was cooler & I tried to enjoy it.  But it was also dark.  I tried not to focus on it, but I knew it.  The only reason the light's changing & the slightly cooler day happened is that the season is winding down.  I hate the end of Summer.  Nothing good happens past that point.  The last couple of Summer's haven't been that great.  They've stayed dark throughout most of June. The sunlight only came with blazing temps.   

It's been getting darker earlier.  I do my best not to look as the streetlamp goes on.  But I still notice it.  My birthday is 3 Mondays from today.   I really don't want to see it.  It's not the getting older, it's the everything getting worse.  I've wanted the same thing for years, not see another birthday.  My day leads into the dark of the year & nothing good will come my way.  It's already been a hard year & I'm tired.  

Ever since the stroke & the anesthesia for the colonoscopy, I've been more aware of how little there is for me in this life.  Each year, there's less & I don't think there's anything I can do about that.  I've spent too much of my life without hope & I'm tired of being like some unwanted toy on an isle.

Sorry for the depressing post, but it's where I'm at right now.  To the dark of the year people who revel in my helltime, may it do you in this year.  May you freeze, suffer from SAD, be alone, powerless & without any thought as to how it could get better.  If you go that for a day, then you'd have the briefest glimpse of what it's like for some of us once Summer ends.

Cya...

Just Hot...

 

About all I have to post on this morning is the heat.  It's looking like we'll be lucky to get any rain this month.  That may kill some grass & bugs, but it's not easy on anything else.  I won't be surprised if there are fires later in the month from all the dry, hot weather.  

There shouldn't be anything for us to do today.  We'll handle shopping & stuff this week.  I'll need a med refill.  Then my roomie has an appointment.  Unless something else comes up, that's it for us.

Take care.

Cya...

Hot & Weedy...

 

Yesterday was rough.   It was windy when we headed out to do some shopping.  That held for a while & it was alright.  But once the wind died down, things were rough.  The muggy heat set in hard.  It didn't help that ragweed has come back into play.  This is the probably the worse allergen for me.   I was coughing, sneezing & had eye yick.  That weed's here until it rains.  That doesn't look to me happening any time soon.  It doesn't look to be a lot cooler today.  

That's it for now, take care.

Cya...

Pro Fluff...

 

At 1st glance, there would appear to have been a lot of articles published over the last few days.  There have & have not been.  Most of these pieces are rehashed bits that they dressed up to have net appeal.  Not that the info isn't important or relative, but it's not new or nationally newsworthy.  

A piece from Yale touted a new, changing approach to how HIV is treated.  It lightly detailed the history of the virus & the need for community involvement.  Not breaking new info by any means.

These works are redressed, retooled & gussied up to look new, professional & promising.   They repackaged & rebranded old information.  Again, the info is important, but the presentation is questionable.  In these hard times, sites are trying to at least appear relevant.  When they really don't anything new to offer.  

They've run out of steam, funds, nerve...   These venues are trying to stay afloat.  Visit the sites you read the most.  Even if they don't have anything new.  They might be to the point of depending on ad revenue for operational cost.   If they lose that as well, it could be their end.  This is siege war on pertinent HIV information & discussion.

Take care.

Cya...

Please Educate...

 

Please help raise awareness concerning HIV & its prevention.  Educate yourself to be as safe as possible.  The US government & others around the world have limited funds used to fight HIV & other illnesses.  The orange stain & his ilk have cut cash & information concerning HIV, other ailments & vaccines.  Russia has cut back on testing due to financial matters involving their war with Ukraine.  Many countries, especially in Africa, have experienced fund cuts & shortages.  

The only reason seems to be the-powers-that-be want the world to die of preventable, treatable illnesses.  These people aren't here to help you do anything else other than die.  Those cutting medical aid are vile, expect nothing but horrid actions from them.

The only thing I can say is, please educate yourself & be as safe as you can.   I know that's not enough.  But that's best some of us can do at this time.  Take care.

Cya...

Back To Normal...

 

The coolness that had graced us has passed.  Yesterday got warm, today will be hot.  The heat is back, but it is August.  Unless things change, this is looking to be a dry month.  It could kill the grass.  But it could also lead to fires.   There's always a downside.

We have some errands to run today.  Other than that, I'm done.  Now, everything just needs to go fairly smoothly.   We're trying for a no drama August here.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Less Please...

 

From before it began until it ended, July was busy, hot & expensive.  It flew by in a steamy, cost ridden blur.  I'm hoping August will slow down a bit & have less expenses.  

For the moment, we have nothing planned for today.  We'll finish bills & run errands tomorrow.  This is a labs month for a telemed appointment in September.

A few years back, we had a really great August.  It'd be nice if this month was a repeat or at least close.  We need a break from the whizzing around & ending up with less.

Take care.

Cya...

Unexpected Step...

 

I actually found an article.  I saw something on this matter yesterday, but it wasn't as well written.  At least not for the purposes of this blog.   This piece, is about a discovery at a Japanese university that could be another step in the fight against HIV.  

This is a little complicated, follow the links for more clarity.  The researchers were studying leukemia, a blood cancer.  Specifically, they were examining HTLV-1, a retrovirus.  They were interested in how this could lead to adult T-cell leukemia/lymphoma.  While studying this, they made a discovery.

They found a genetic silencer within the virus.  This allows the virus to go into a dormant state & not be cause a reaction to the immune system   This way it can lay dormant & reemerge at a later time, much like HIV.

Even though HIV has been known to be capable of this. There's been no means to manipulate a "silencer"  until now.  They found the specific aspect of the HTLV-1 virus' genome that contains the silencer.   They introduced it into HIV cells.  It was able to put the virus into a dormant state & reduce replication.  This could help treat HTLV-1, HIV & other retroviral infections.

It's just a beginning, but it's got promise.  I hope it leads to something tangible.  This could help a lot of people.  Give this a read.

That's all for now, take care.

Cya...

Cool Sunday Morning...

 

This may be the last of respite from the heat, but it's been nice.  We didn't get the rain & the 1st day was muggy.  But yesterday & this morning so far have been fairly pleasant.  

The heat will return, it's August.  I've been trying not to focus on the negatives.  That's not easy when there's not much positive going on around you.  The problem is that I don't see that changing any time soon, if at all.  

The best I can do this morning is just enjoy the cool air blowing through the window.  That's about it for this today.  There's not been a lot to post about lately.  I'll keep looking.

Cya...

Perks & Snags...

 

Yesterday was cool enough we didn't use the AC.  Yay for cooler temps & lower bills.  However, there was supposed to be rain that never showed.   The morning forecast called for 1 - 2" throughout the day.  We got sprinkles.  The humidity was awful yesterday.  Just walking across the room left you drenched.  It was more like condensation than sweat.  

Today won't be quite as cool.  Maybe the air will be less sopping.  That's about it for this morning.  It'd be nice not to have extra stuff for a day.

Take care.

Cya...

Hello August 2025...

 

August is here & it'd be nice if it went easier than the rest of the year.  I don't have any reason to believe it will.  Still, it'd be nice.  July ended cooler than it had been.  These temps won't hold, but it's a nice respite.  

This week has been busy.  Between the heat, car, appointments & just general stuff, it's been rough on us.  The car's back, my roomie's appointment went well, all that's left is shopping & some errands.

Today starts the clock on the last moments of my 58th year.  A month from now, I'll be a year older.  Not that  it really does much for me.  It'd be nice to look forward to things like this, but I don't.  We'll probably go somewhere to eat & maybe catch a movie.

That's all for now, take care.

Hello August, play nice.

Cya...