This is the 1st day of the blog's new year. There are usually a lot of issues near this day; my pharmacy having issues with my meds, recovering from COVID, my father passing, bad weather, plumber issues... It'd be nice to skip that this year.
We don't have anything planned today. We started bill stuff yesterday & will finish most of it tomorrow. There's are appointments this week, some errands, & my roomie will see a friend. It'll be a busy week again.
That's all for now, take care.
Cya...
This blog is 15 years old. The only things I've done longer than were go to school & live with my roomie. This blog has been a record of my time living with HIV. I can't give it a grade, because too much of it has been dependent on things beyond my control. The best I can do is type out the happenings of my life, reactions to articles over HIV, the chaos caused by outside forces & incidents, sometimes it's just life stuff like cats, weather & holidays... Here's to turning 15 & heading into the next year.
This is also the anniversary of my HIV diagnosis. A day that changed my life. Sometimes I have serious regrets about that day. Life has been anything but easy since then. In some ways like meds, my health & telemed; things are better. But the world, the US & my perspective are far worse off than they were back then. I say I hope for things a lot. I'm usually wanting it for other people or the cats. I never had much hope for myself. Ever year past my final graduation it's gone down. There isn't much left.
My Blog is 15 & my HIV is 26 & we're still here. Not sure that's a good thing. There were some other happenings about this time & earlier. Several years before my father passed in early January. We've lost too many cats in December. Back in early December 1999 was the last time I smoked. That's 26 years & some change now. I miss that sometimes. I had something to do.
That's all for now, Happy Anniversary to my blog & my HIV.
Cya...
The 2nd day of 2026 has showed up grey & dismal. It's working it's way into a light, hazy morning. Today is the last day of my 25th year of being HIV+ & also the end of this blog's year. I didn't accomplish much, if anything this year. I was there when some things happened, but not much beyond that. I have a new dentist, but I didn't have any choice in that. No matter what I was going to have a new dentist. I miss the old place, it was nice. I'd been there quite a while.
Other than exist & see some movies, I haven't done much for myself. I'm not sure what I could or would even want to do anymore. I may have helped other people & some cats since my diagnosis, but my life has been on a fractious pause since that day in the ER. My physical health is somewhat better than then, but not much else. I just stayed stressed & standby as other entities make decisions about my life. Anything I could try, would probably cause me lose what little I do have. I can't afford that.
Sometimes, going to the ER that day is my biggest regret. I may be alive, but I'm not really living. Here's hoping 2026 doesn't screw things over any worse for me or mine.
Sorry for the bleak 2nd day.
Cya...
2026 is here. There weren't any wrappers or tags, but it came anyway. It came in with a fanfare of gunshots & fireworks. There were a lot of crash-booms & colorful lights. We had a friend over for part of the night, before she headed home to her family.
I was & still am apprehensive about this year. I'm slightly amazed that so many found 2025 a successful year for themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I didn't find it much more a constant challenge. They listed off the things they accomplished & it was a lot. I barely managed to stay on the board. They have lists & plans & I haven't had any of that in years.
I can deal with accomplishing so little in so long. But, it could have at least been fun & a lot less troubling. Other than helping some friends & cats, I haven't done anything in a long time. It's good those around are striving, but I think I peaked quite a while back.
Whatever your hopes or plans are for this year, I hope they go well.
Cya...
Goodbye December & 2025, the door's opening for the next year. I don't have much good to say about 2025. My roomie fared far better than me. Then again, the last 25 years haven't been my year. I guess that doesn't happen anymore.
I have no idea what 2026 has in store, I just hope it's better than this year. This was a rough time for too many of us. Here's too all those who won't be coming into the new year with us, be they 2 legged or not.
That's it for now, have a very Happy New Year. May it kind to you & yours.
Cya...
The Now & I don't have a good relationship. Even in my head, I'm rarely in the now. I'm not even this age, It varies where, when & who I am. Sometimes I'm a little kid, a younger teen, older teen, 20 something, but none of them are here & now. I'm in places I've been, wanted to be or that never were. It's not always great, but it's almost always better than the now. I'm not always in the past, sometimes my thoughts go forward & that's even worse. Instead of nostalgia & regret; I get angst, worry & dread.
I don't think I should've ever been. Or maybe, I should've been a short run concept. But life as it is & the Now, never felt like they were meant for me. I was trying to wear someone else's wardrobe & do their lines.
A new year is crashing in on us & I don't anticipate good tidings, pleasant surprises or opportunities. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. At this point, it's more apt to rain anvils. Meatloaf had it right.
It was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today - Paradise By The Dashboard Lights - 1977.
That's it, take care. The end is almost here, so wrap it up or set it free.
Cya...
In some ways I'm so ready for this year to be over. Then I'm also very apprehensive about 2026. It's not like I've got a choice, but still, the options aren't great. It would be easier not to focus on it if the orange wasn't present. Then again, if he wasn't here, things probably wouldn't be so bad.
This will probably be the last shopping of the year. Then the last run to the bank & pharmacy. It's almost over, 2025's bags are packed & it's about out the door. It'll head off to wherever last years go when their days run out.
That's it for now, take care.
Cya...
